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Parenting

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Original poster

3.5 year old still in nappies

12 replies

Allthatjazz234 · 31/08/2023 22:38

My daughter went through a horrible bout of constipation during the summer which put potty training on the back burner. She had started doing her wees in the potty but never wanted to do her poos.

She has started pre school now and is still in nappies. I was worried it might be an issue but It hasn't been mentioned yet. She is definitely able to potty train but just doesn't want to.

Ideally I wanted her to be potty trained going before starting. Is it very unusual for 3.5 year old to still be in nappies? Should I be concerned?

Looking for advice on what to do, do I just stop buying nappies and start all over again? She also only in the past month or two stopped using a soother but has started to ask for it again since starting school. Would it be too much to try her on potty again with all this change happening already? It's her first time away from me really as she has never been in childcare before.

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Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 31/08/2023 22:40

Dd was swayed by the choice of new knickers! Potty all the way very quickly.. Ime the advantage of waiting til 3 is they are very ready and well able to have bladder control in a short time.. Much less faffing!

mynameiscalypso · 31/08/2023 22:48

My DS was a little over 3.5 when he potty trained. We'd had attempts before but it never worked and we always gave it at least a month between attempts. He finally got it in two days and has had very few accidents ever since. I'd give it a rest, particularly with the change of setting, and try again when you have a stretch of time at home with her. It's not beyond the realms of normal at all (most of my DS' classmates' parents claimed they were 'potty trained' before him but they had constant accidents).

Endofsummerisinsight · 01/09/2023 08:41

I would say it’s unusual late. Perhaps that’s because my children went to school nursery so all children in their classes were out of nappies. Actually one was still occasionally in nappies but has ASD and still continues to have issues now. By that age other children will be aware that your child is still in nappies while everyone else isn’t. If your truly on top of the constipation then yes it’s time to start. The ERIC website has some great advice and poo goes to poo land app is good too.

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3 year olds Families General parenting Potty training

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 01/09/2023 08:45

Poo goes to pooland app. It's free and worked on my ds and several other children that I've suggested it to their parents.

Original poster

Allthatjazz234 · 02/09/2023 23:24

Thanks everyone for the responses. She just started pre school this week and got on great thankfully. She told me the other kids used the toilet, so I asked her wouldn't she like to use toilet/potty too and she said no. I thought she might be influenced by the other kids.

Just don't know whether to wait a little while or just bite the bullet and start ASAP? The constipation is under control so that's not really an issue. She has even done nights where she has been completely dry all night. She is very very stubborn, she really is. She just doesn't want to do anything she doesn't want to do.

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Original poster

Allthatjazz234 · 02/09/2023 23:32

We showed her the poo goes to pooland but she didn't go for it at all. She's very smart, I think it's more about control.

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mynameiscalypso · 03/09/2023 08:05

Allthatjazz234 · 02/09/2023 23:32

We showed her the poo goes to pooland but she didn't go for it at all. She's very smart, I think it's more about control.

She sounds exactly like my DS. In the end, we went the whole hog on bribery. I bought several small boxes of playmobil and wrapped up the bits individually. I then had a big box of presents and he got one every time he went to the potty. The desire for a present overcame his stubbornness within a day or two and he barely had any accidents after that.

Belltentdreamer · 03/09/2023 08:14

If she’s stubborn the older she gets the worse it’ll be. You need to go cold turkey and ride it out. Whatever you do once they are gone don’t go back. If she’s 3.5 she should get there pretty quick 🤞 best of luck.

fearfuloffluff · 03/09/2023 08:16

It's a bit on the old side and I'd crack on as soon as you can. Tbh it shouldn't be up to her when you start, she's a small child - you tell her. Do you have the same approach in other areas of only doing things when she wants to? It might not help her with starting school when many things are non-negotiable.

I do know how it is, DD is strong willed and used to refuse to leave the house etc, you have to persevere. Calmly and kindly, but with no doubt about who is in charge.

At 3.5 I'd skip the potty and go straight to toilet, maybe with a trainer seat. Rewards, get rid of nappies, praise when she does it.

Mummy08m · 03/09/2023 08:23

I agree with bribery. In our case we used sweets (the kind that are really just dried fruit, so a win-win for constipation too). Kiddylicious do these packs of tiny fish/worms, they are miniscule so you can hand out loads a day.

One for a wee in the potty/toilet, two for a poo. Every potty visit gets a book-reading too, regardless of outcome (wouldn't it be nice if someone read me a book while I pooed?!). As she's 3.5 you could also bribe for wiping (obvs after handwashing)

spurs4ever · 03/09/2023 08:28

She sounds similar to my DS who was just over 3.5 when we finally succeeded. In the end I had to be more stubborn than him. I waited until the start of the school holidays when I knew we'd be at home and told him that the nappy fairy (!) had taken all the nappies so he couldn't use them. He was stroppy all morning but it worked and he was dry day & night within two days. Only a couple of accidents in that time. She'll get there with your support x

Original poster

Allthatjazz234 · 06/09/2023 15:42

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions! We are going to give it a go this weekend and see how we get on. Really hoping it goes well! Will be getting rid of all nappies and just going straight to toilet now as that's what they use in playschool also. She is very able for it now just have to bite the bullet!

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