Newborn advice needed.

[HoldingOnForARainbow]

First time Mum here so please be gentle! I just want some advice on what to expect from my newborn. And if things are sounding relatively normal.

My little boy is just about to hit six weeks and for the last week or so, he’s become incredibly fussy and difficult to settle in the evenings.

Prior to this, he would go down without any fuss and generally only cry when hungry, or when having his nappy changed.

We are spending most evenings trying our best to settle him. He does not seem in any pain, he feeds really well and burps really well. There are no obvious signs of distress. It is making us feel so useless. The crying doesn’t go on for hours, so I haven’t paid much attention to colic.

I have noticed that he has no interest in spending time on say his baby gym mat, or rocker. I think we get a maximum of 5 minutes before he cries and wants to be picked up.

Our day times have generally been busy out and about in the push chair which he loves. I use the sling to get on with jobs around the house, again which soothes him. He also loves contact naps in the day but he doesn’t seem to be interested in the evening.

Any experiences of what your newborn is/was like? He’s definitely more alert but it feels like such a short window of time I have engaging him before he starts to cry.

It’s fair to say I find his crying distressing!

Welcome to the witching hours. Very normal.

A lot of babies do this, they will cry for a few hours in the evening and either want holding or feeding.

Things that can help;

1. knowing it’s normal and nothing to be concerned about

2. eat before it starts. Typically these periods start at the same time each day. If you’ve eaten it’s easier

3. if you’re breastfeeding, let them feed all evening.

4. if you’re not breastfeeding a dummy can help

5. find a good box set, put the lights low and get comfy

6. know it won’t last forever. It will pass around 3-4 months.

This is perfect advice. Newborns get more complicated after the first couple of weeks and it’s like they lulled you into a false sense of security! With DD2, when things felt tough, I kept telling myself it won’t be like this when she is X weeks, and when she got to X weeks, whatever it was, that phase had passed.

Exactly what the previous posters have said! Witching hour is a very real thing. Lower your standards when it comes to housework and take all offers of help for washing and cooking etc. Contact naps all the way with food, water and the remote nearby. Crying peaks around six weeks and my little one went from sleeping relatively well to screaming all night unless she was being held. We accepted that this is what she needs right now and took turns and slept when we could. It was intense but it was over quickly! You're in the trenches right now but you're doing great.

Sounds exactly like my DS at about that age. I found a pram walk at around 5 helped him but it was still a case of adopting the brace position for the witching hour tbh. I had an arrangement with DP where I’d go to bed at 9pm and he’d be in sole charge for a bit, and I found it helpful to know I could just walk away from the grouchiness at 9pm.

Yup - totes normal.

Dim the lights, bathe him and feed him and just let him lay on your chest while you watch a bit of TV.

I hear this - DD is six weeks too and sooo grumpy in the evenings!

All the PP's are spot on with the advice about the witching hour, but just picking up on your comments on the baby gym, OP - ditch that for now. Babies that young don't like or need entertainment or toys - they just want to be held (hence why he cries so quickly to be picked up). I would try and reduce the stimulus as that can exacerbate the evening grumpiness (as they very quickly end up far too over stimulated and struggle to soothe and sleep). This stage really is about putting your feet up and just holding your new baby. That's all he needs

Yes, excellent point. He is still so so small and just wants comfort.

Subtitles really help to watch telly!

PP's have said it perfectly. It's completely normal and it WILL stop. It doesn't last forever. It's hard as hell, I won't lie.... But it will get easier and better. My husband and I used to take turns When trying to settle DD. When one of us started to get frustrated or burnt out, we'd swap so we could cope. Lots of cuddles and DD used to like walks in the pram at 9pm. I was shattered, but she would settle after a good walk (some days). Lots of big hugs to you xx

All sounds really normal (DC2 is 7 weeks old). Evening fussiness is such a PITA but it will subside quickly. @Twizbe advice is spot on. We’ve found a walk with DC2 in the sling to get him to sleep, or feeding him in a dark room with loud white noise soothes him. You’ll find what works for you.

Also agree with @sexnotgenders about ditching the idea of playing on the floor. Id actually say 5 minutes on the play mat is good going for a 6 week old. They really do just want to be held and soothed. Too much stimuli definitely makes witching hour worse so dial back as much as you can.

It’s a slog but fussiness at this age usually means one of ‘I’m hungry, I’m tired or I’m overstimulated’. Address it each time in that order - which will mean lots of feeding, lots of contact naps, lots of time in the sling and lots of low stimulation environments.

You have described my 7 week old to a tee. It helps me know that this is all normal and if anything leaning into it helps. There’s a chart which shows this is peak crying phase. Know this too shall pass, some things for better and some for worse but is generally temporary.

Have a Google about 'mental leaps'. Was all very accurate for all 3 of mine. There is an app called wonder weeks too. Good luck!

Also what @VivaVivaa said about white noise and a dark room. There's a 10 hour long video on YouTube of shushing with a blank screen. It was a lifesaver during those tough weeks!