What to do? Other kids

[JL642]

Hi all. New to this as I have a 10 months dd. Took dd to library this morning to read some books for 20 minutes before she got bored/tired. Another child came over (3? 4? I’m no good with ages) and started talking to us. I am ok with this for a few minutes (partially because my dd was interesting in him talking). He then over stayed his welcome, was trying to grab book off my dd, trying to turn the pages himself, then was trying to show us his Lego - and waving it in dd face - so I had to say not near the baby.

As above I don’t mind other child for a little while - but when it starts to ruin my time with my baby and when I start having to parent the other child I have a problem - especially when mum could see but couldn’t be bothered (see below).

Ultimately I ended up saying I’m here to read to my baby why doesn’t he go read to his mum and I then moved away.

Said mum was sitting opposite us about 5 metres watching us/staring into space. She half heartedly tried to call her son over (once) otherwise mum ignored us and son even when it was clear he was outstaying his welcome.

Any other suggestions on what to do in these situations please which I expect will happen again in future?

Not looking for an argument nor do I think I’m the perfect parent but genuinely looking for advice on those who may have more experience than me.

I generally work on the principle of avoiding conflict and removing my child from the situation. So in this case I'd probably pick up my child and sit somewhere else. Trying to explain things to a 3yo with no understanding of boundaries feels like too much hard work.

"Go back to your mummy/daddy" or "don't do that" is about all you can say, otherwise sometimes I pick up DD and take her somewhere else. Although, I did have to physically pick up someone's feral four year old a few weeks ago at a soft play because he had climbed onto my table where there were two boiling hot drinks that I'd just bought and he was in danger of knocking them over on himself. I put him on the floor. His mum turned up 30 seconds later and she couldn't have been less bothered that he almost got scalded. Some parents are useless, you just have to figure out ways of swerving their kids.

I think what you did was fine, nothing rude but then a firm ‘move along’. It happens to me a lot, usually in the playground when I’m trying to make sure my daredevil toddler isn’t going to brain himself flying off the play equipment and I can’t be doing with having to spare any attention on someone else’s child. And sometimes I just don’t want to engage as like you say, I’m enjoying the one on one time with my little boy.

I will smile brightly and offer a token comment perhaps but then it’s fine to move on and be brisk.

It is a bit sad sometimes though Because they’re only seeking out attention from other adults as they’re not getting it from whoever is there with them.

As a nanny as well as a parent I’m pretty well versed in a telling off if another child is putting mine or my charges in danger. If the parent isn’t going to keep their feral child from slinging around the play equipment in the baby area, they shouldn’t be at all shocked if someone else steps in.

Thanks all very helpful. I am glad me and Dd moved away then.