From 1 to 2 kids in your 40s?

[MummaBearMarie]

Hi beautiful mummy’s 💖
Can I please ask your advise?
Positive or negative welcome
What’s it like going from 1 to 2 children in your 40s?
My boy is 6. Hoping to conceive a sibling via IVF this time. Although we’d LOVE another, I’m extremely apprehensive about the risks involved, and adjusting in our 40s (help?)

I had DC1 at 38 and DC2 at 42. I had a TFMR in between, I had the NIPT at 10 weeks to check for abnormalities. It's statistically a higher risk due to age but DC2 was fine.
No fertility treatment. It did take quite a few months to conceive but not as long as DC1. We looked into IVF but the success rates seemed low for my age so we just left it to fate.
I had GD with DC2, which didn't have any symptoms for but I had to be very careful about diet and DC2 was a pound heavier than DC2 at birth. No issues with my health after birth but I have an increased risk of diabetes now.
I haven't found it difficult to parent in my 40s. I had an elective c section for other medical issues and breastfed. I don't get very tired easily and I'm active with both dc. I don't work so I'm with DC2 all the time, and with DC1 outside of school times.

That’s inspiring. Good for you and thanks for sharing! I feel really worried about the sleep deprivation too. How has your older one adjusted.

I'm 42 with a one year old and and eight year old, pregnancy wise it was a way better pregnancy, the first year has been as tiring as you'd expect with a baby, I sometimes feel that I feel my age more this time round, I'm fairly fit and healthy but the interrupted sleep feels harder this time. The first couple of months was hard on our eldest, witching hours made it difficult for her as she wanted me to do the bedtimes, but with the witching hour came.cluster feeding.

We started introducing one hour with each of us that was completely uninterrupted and encouraged her to talk about her feelings.

Now a year on, we have the hour between the littlest going to bed and eldest and try and use that as focussed time for her.

The one hour interrupted time she would pick something she wanted to do with us

I had my mine at 38 and 39, and am expecting my third in a month at 41. Seriously thinking of having a fourth too. TBH my age didn't really come into things; I started late for various reasons and wanted more. You don't say where you are in your forties - there's a big difference between 41 and 49, but if you want a child, then good luck, whatever your situation. x

I should say mine were all IVF, but due to chemo when younger rather than age specifically.