Help me before I have a mental breakdown, or more of one.

[Moocow34]

Advice needed.
My 9mo girl is EBF.
We started to wean her at 6mo. She has never been particularly interested in food.
She doesn’t care to use a cup, a bottle, she cares about nothing but boob.
The list is absolutely endless on what we have tried. Finger food, purées, spoon feeding, expressed milk mixed in, cows milk mixed in, yogurt, fruit, veg, meat, cheese, egg, choc yogurt, choc cake. She will seal her mouth shut and back away in her high chair when offered anything. I have tried every bottle and every cup on the market. I could open up a shop with the teats, bottles and cups I have collecting dust in the cupboard. I’ve tried cows milk, formula, breast milk, weak squash, smoothie. I have exhausted all options and if I’m honest, I’m getting depressed over it.. Oh the mum guilt I feel typing that.
She feeds constantly throughout the night, she wants me all day. She has been referred to speech and language which I’m awaiting an appointment for. She has improved ever so slightly but went through a phase of projectile vomiting. She would not even get to swallowing the food and just vomit up breast milk. We’ve discussed this with the GP, HV. I’ve tried every trick, from the bottle in my top, in my bra, wrapping it so she cannot see it, dancing while attempting to feed, different positions, high chair, swing, you name it.. Different temperatures, freshly expressed milk, warming the teat, sitting her with her brother to eat who is an absolutely fantastic eater, other people have tried without me in the room/ house, it doesn’t work. I have tried leaving a while after a feed and still no luck.
I am becoming drained, I’m tired and I just need some much needed time by myself, even for a couple of hours.

Advice? Will she starve if I outright refuse breastfeeds in the day? Has anyone else been through this.

bump

I can hear the frustration in your message @Moocow34 and it must be exhausting.

I am not an expert by any means, but one thing that struck me when reading it is that I'm not sure weaning onto food and weaning off breast simultaneously is a good idea. It could be that she's refusing food/cups because they are "taking away" the breast milk she loves so much!

Remember "food for fun before one"
At this stage she isn't meant to be eating much, just being supported to play, feel, taste new flavours and textures but with no pressure for it to replace her calories from milk. My eldest literally ate nothing before 9 months. Wasn't interested at all.

So if I were you, I'd massively take the pressure off. Tackle one thing at a time. If you can, I'd keep breastfeeding her while she explores this new phase of food, but with no expectations on her to eat/drink anything to begin with.

Good luck!

Hi @Moocow34 sorry that you're going through all of this. Were your GP or HV able to give any advice about your LO not eating? Have you tried eating with her yourself? I know you said she eats with her brother but she might show interest in "your" food which you could make appropriate for her and give it to her that way. Sorry if you've tried that already, just trying to think!
I also don't agree with the statement food before one is just for fun. Babies iron stores that they receive from us during pregnancy has dwindled by six months and needs to be replaced. They also need to move onto textured food by ten months which aids in developing muscles to help their speech. Is this why you've been referred to speech and language?

Given she's so resistive I'd BF first then offer food say 30 mins afterwards. Then BF again if she wants it afterwards.

Eat with her and take the pressure off, give her a few bits of food on her plate to mess about with. Exaggerate a bit with your food and how yummy it is. Chat to her about what you're eating/what she is eating. Talk about your day. Its hard but if you always seem stressed around meal times I'm sure she picks up on this, so take the pressure of you and her.

My DD is 8 months and only literally today did she eat one of those puff snack type things after being served them once a day for a month lol. Before that she just played with them.

She’s 9 months old. Why has she been referred to speech and language? I think you’re putting way too much pressure on her and getting far too stressed out about it. I’d say it’s very normal for a 9 month old to be mainly interested in breastfeeding. Stop trying so many different tricks, let her breastfeed as much as she wants and just keep putting food in front of her when everyone else is eating - easy things that don’t take long, banana, scrambled egg, toast fingers. Ignore whether she eats it or doesn’t and if she’s getting stressed out just take it away. I think you need to take all of the pressure out of the situation first before you’re going to get anywhere.

weve been referred to speech and language because of the vomiting.
I know gagging / vomiting in weaning is somewhat normal but she projectiles at the spoon. All her BM comes up and no food as she doesn’t get to the swallowing stage. This is daily.

I would try to take the pressure off you both. I worry she might be finding it all quite stressful as you are and it could be putting her off food and back to the comfort of the boob more. My oldest breastfed a lot at that age, never took a bottle, didn't eat much at all till 10 or 11 months, took that long to get how a sippy cup of water worked. I continued to breastfeed her and put food in front of her at mealtimes to try with no pressure. I also went back to work but did have to breastfeed her on my lunchbreak! By a year she was eating, drinking water from a cup, sleeping through and down to just two breastfeeds a day. She's at school now and has never liked cow's milk, she breastfed into her toddler years and eats yoghurt and cheese for calcium.