Will the age gap work?

[Clarity16]

Hi,

My husband and I have decided to go for child #3. After a couple of losses, the age gap is going to end up bigger than I would have ideally wanted. My eldest will be 6 and my younger child will be 4. Has anybody experienced this gap? Does it work for your family? Do they all play together still?

Thank you.

Do you mean you’ll have a 6, 4 and baby?

I have a six year old and I'm pregnant after three years of fertility treatment. I've got to the point where I've just had to accept it is what it is - DD is excited at the thought of having a baby sibling. I doubt my DD and the new baby will play together like a six and four year old would, but I'm sure there will be benefits to the age gap as well.

Yes.

I think you have to just want the baby regardless. Sibling dynamics are unpredictable in my opinion anyway.

Yes, I'm trying to accept it too. I think I'm now on my last try and if I have another loss then that will have to be the end.

And congratulations on your pregnancy!

My youngest 3 were 6, 8 and 9 when I had ds... Ds is still adored at 8 yo! Get on very well with all. Ds 14 still has so much time for him!

You can’t really predict, it will be so individual to your children and family. If you want another baby, go for it regardless . There’s pros and cons to all age gaps

My kids are 2 years apart. My youngest (girl now 10) plays a lot with my oldest (boy now 14) and rarely with the middle (boy 12). I think it depends on personality.

my middle son plays a lot with his cousin (boy 15) but oldest doesn’t play much with cousin even though they are only a year apart. My oldest gets on better with other cousin (girl 17). So it’s really just a matter of personality I think.

You can't control sibling dynamics, so much is down to personalities and not just age / gaps. I think there are pros and cons to every kind of gap. If you want another baby, have one.

FWIW, this is almost the exact gap that my DH has with his younger sisters. They are all close as adults (the younger two more so but they're both girls so perhaps expected).

Thank you. I don't have much family and they only have 2 much older cousins, so I'd love for them to have another sibling.

DBro is 5 years older than me. We played together as kids and still get on well as adults

Mine had 2 4 year gaps then a 13 month gap eldest gets on well with youngest and second gets on with 3rd and 2 youngest have their moments generally they all (4) get on with each other well.

hope all goes well op,

There is a 5 year gap between our two, it's been ideal, never been a problem. Even now at 16 and 21 it's fine, they were both out together last night, watching a football match.

Thank you all.
I'm probably overthinking it. I also think it's linked to my grief. My due date would have been October and I thought I'd be happily pregnant again by now. I keep thinking how lovely that gap would have been.

This age gap thing is a red herring. Honestly it doesn't matter at all! Go for what you want. You could have siblings that are 2 minutes apart who don't get on well and siblings that are 75 years apart that who are inseparable.

This made me think of my DC’s friend, he is 5 years and 7 years younger than his brothers & never known such a close gang of siblings, it’s lovely.

mine are all 3 years apart - currently 15, 11 and 8 - the older two were friends until DC1 was about 7, then the younger 2 were closer friends…

I can understand the grief you must be feeling but honestly age gaps are irrelevant. I have a twin brother and we aren't close at all, have never ever socialised together including in our teen years. My best friend growing up had a sister who was 8 years growing up and it was fab! They were both so close and she became like a big sister to me and as they grew up the age gap became less important and they are still close.

Got a 6yr old and a baby. I'm living my best life.

I have a 6 year gap and it is good. They mostly get on well (8 and 2 now) and the older one helps out. They younger one does have difficulty understanding that she can't have the same things an 8 year old can and we often have to take them to separate activities or days out if what is good for one is not suitable for the other; that's sometimes nice though. Overall we are all happy with the gap.

This made me think of my DC’s friend, he is 5 years and 7 years younger than his brothers & never known such a close gang of siblings, it’s lovely.

Our two really are close, even though they probably say they aren't 😁

When the eldest started Uni last year, the youngest admitted he really missed him and they message and video chat with each other all the time he is away.

Any and all age gaps work, the dynamics are just different. I was born when dsis was 7 and dbro 5. Dsis adored me and dbro resented my existence. This pattern has continued throughout life! Every sibling relationship is different.

Similar to my siblings' ages when I was born! Eldest was 6.5 and middle was 3.5. Got on fairly well throughout childhood, close as adults🙂

That will be a lovely age gap. I have 4 years between oldest and youngest DC and they get on well. My older two are less than 15 months apart and bicker loads also the baby years were very hard. Good luck!

Thanks again. Just giving this a bump because I feel like my period is on it's way and feeling very down (hormones aren't helping).
For the one I lost in February then due date is approaching, and the one I lost in August my 12 week scan would have been coming up.