What am I doing wrong

[Newmumin23]

Hi I’m looking for some advice really. My son is 3.5 months and I still don’t feel like I know what I’m doing.
He would only contact nap up until about 6 weeks ago when he started going down in his cot for naps. The last few days he’s refusing to go down again. I became quite down and depressed the first time around as I was sat on my own all day, pretty much just on the sofa while the baby slept. I’m really worried of going back to that and what it will do to my mental health. I don’t know why he suddenly won’t nap in the cot again.

He’s also only taking 4oz bottles, sometimes he doesn’t even finish this. I try to feed him before he cries but I did start to wait until he was crying for a feed to see if he’d take more but it didn’t make much difference. He does takes 5oz bottle around 3am, he seems to get more hungry as the day goes on and peaks at 3am! I’m happy to feed him when he’s hungry but I’m starting to think he will never go through the night If he’s having his biggest feed then.

I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong. I don’t think I’ve got any confidence in what I’m doing, and just feel like I’m only just managing. If there anything I can do.

He is tiny. Don’t worry about him sleeping through the night. He is supposed to feed over night. He should never finish a bottle, if he does offer more. Is he on the right teat size? The sleep problems will be the 4 month sleep regression.

Don't worry about the contact naps. Get a good quality sling that puts him in the right c shape position and is good for your back and that means you can be a bit more mobile.

Neither you or the baby are doing anything wrong, you're doing great and all this is normal.

If your mental health is being impacted would you consider speaking to your GP and seeking support from the mental health team.

You'll be coming into the sleep regression and teething stage. Maybe together, maybe seperate I've spent many nights not knowing why they're awake, but just knowing that they are.

And @CuriousPorg is right, a sling is a godsend.

Honestly, don't sweat it. I used to worry about contact naps and then just embraced it, baby will nap in the cot when they're ready. I never pushed it and toddler DS naps so well in his cot now I have to wake him most days! I miss those sofa cuddles.

Totally normal about the bottles too, although you could try a faster teat if you think he could be getting frustrated/tired by the flow being slow? I remember feeling like DS would never sleep through or drop night feeds but they all do in their own time, your baby is still so young.