Have I made a mistake

[beehappy19]

My daughter is 3 (4 in October) and has attended a private nursery since she was 1. It took her a while to settle but she loves it now and has some close friends who she talks about all the time.

I applied for her to start school nursery this September as I thought it would be good for her as she’s one of the eldest in her year group. Our local school is very good and difficult to get in to and at first she didn’t get a place but they rang me in July saying they had a space for her which i accepted.

Only now September is almost here I’m starting to regret my choice! My daughter will know some children at the school nursery but not her close friends as they are all staying at the private nursery until they start school next year. My daughter says she’s “nervous” to start a new nursery as her friends won’t be there and it breaks my heart when she says it. She’s quite a sensitive soul and I know the change will upset her.

The usual thing would be for her to get a school place after the nursery but I’m really not convinced she will especially after not getting in the nursery initially and how over subscribed the school is. So now I’m worried I’m upsetting her for nothing by tearing her away from her friends and will have to move her again next year anyway.

Am I completely over thinking this or do you think I’ve made a mistake?

I think, given that you're not guaranteed a place at the school/likely to get a place, I'd stick with the nursery she's at tbh.

If she was definitely going to that school then I think the change would be a good thing.

I'd be changing my plan to let her join at the right time. Better to be a bit older than a bit younger in my opinion

Is there a bigger intake for reception than nursery? This is often the case and can mean a much higher chance of getting in at reception level than at nursery.

@NuffSaidSam unfortunately not, there’s only 4 more spaces for reception which is one of the reasons I’m concerned.

I had this ( albeit 15 years ago). My son went to a private nursery. But the nursery at the school said they could take him for the last year. And like u I wasn’t sure. But finally I moved him. I figured that these were the children he would spend the next seven or so years with. So I want him to know them.

Best thing I did. Children make friends easily especially while they are young.

I was really glad also because when he started in reception most had made little groups of friends and I noticed the new ones were kind of on the sidelines.

Can you get her back in to her private nursery?

We went with the school nursery due to the fact it would make things easier for starting school, but if you haven’t got a chance of getting into the school doing two potential moves (to this nursery and then another school) doesn’t sound too sensible. I would just keep them at the private nursery

My eldest went straight into reception from a private nursery and was fine. In your case is stick with private nursery if possible. She is happy there and as not guaranteed a school place it might be for nothing

She'll be fine. However if your motivation is to secure a Reception place it is very unlikely attending nursery will get your dd priority for a place over other applicants (unless a private school). I'm not sure why you have discussed it so much with her , surely if she assumed everyone was moving on now she would not be getting so anxious. There will soon be new friends and routines to distract her.

I did the same last year and felt awful taking my DD away from her friends. But she has made lots more friends at preschool including a best friend and they're inseparable now. All the preschool class are moving up to reception together and they make up most of the reception class so almost all of them already know each other. They are used to the uniform, teachers and the routine. For us it was worth it

Have you looked at the criteria for getting into the school? All the kids from my DC’s nursery class are moving into reception and I’m so relieved he went to nursery in the same school as he already knows his teacher, half the kids who will be in his class.

I also think there can be some benefits going to a school as they will have a teacher (though not necessarily the case, you might have a very good private nursery for older children - but plenty aren’t as good).

Honestly they cope with change fine at this age, I wouldn't worry too much. Just don't make any other big changes for a little while to give her time to settle. I can't remember the details but am pretty sure studies have shown before age 7 ish children cope very well with change, beyond that it starts to get trickier. She'll have forgotten her old friends within a week.