Sleep training 5 month old

[Desperatemumpleasehelpme]

Yes. I know. Hear me out.

DS was an easy newborn and a fantastic sleeper until about 8 weeks ago. At one point he was sleeping through a full 9-10 hours. Then he suddenly started waking up a few times a night. No problem, obviously the 4 month regression I thought. DC1 was a colic/reflux/regression type baby so thought I knew the drill. But this didn’t end after a few weeks. In fact it’s got worse.

He will not go to sleep in the evenings. He screams and screams and screams for hours. I don’t mean an hour that feels like longer, I mean hours. Up to 3. Before he passes out, hyperventilating with exhaustion, into a light sleep, only to wake 90 minutes later. Rinse and repeat.

Feeding to sleep doesn’t work any more (EBF). Dark room/white noise doesn’t work. Earlier bedtime, later bedtime, shushing and rocking, letting him fall asleep on me, patting him in the cot, putting him over my shoulder and walking around the house. I’ve tried Infacol, teething powder and gel. Taking him for an hour long walk before bed in the pram in the vain hope the fresh air will settle him. He isn’t in pain, if I take him downstairs into a light room he’ll start smiling and acting normally although clearly very tired and becomes cranky 10 minutes later.

I am beyond exhausted, the screaming is like torture and I haven’t slept for longer than 2 hours in weeks. I get perhaps 3-4 broken hours a night.

The entire house is suffering. I’m snapping at DC1, too tired to do much so the house is a mess and we’re eating quick junk food. Every day is struggle. He whines and whinges all day and just screams. I’m at the end of my tether and worry I’ll just end up screaming at him to shut up because I can’t bear it any more. DH just came in after settling DC1 to find me curled up in a ball with my hands over my ears with DS screaming in the cot.

I honestly cannot go on like this.

If you sleep trained early what worked for you?

we both have the feeling he’s overly sociable and gets FOMO…Does that make sense?

Yes, I totally get it, we always joked DC1 had no off switch. My only question though is why is he known to a doctor/why were you told to wean early? If he’s got something already going on even more reason to touch base with your GP.

I’m holding him when he’s crying. Rocking and shushing.

He’s CMPA, I’ve been dairy and soy free for 6 weeks, his nappies have improved as has his eczema, but could it still be bothering him?? What else can I do if it is?

If he's CMPA and you've started weaning are you sure he's not reacting to a different allergen?

How closely are you tracking foods and reactions, and how long have you been weaning?

There seems to be a few coincidences that with an already known allergy I think I would definitely explore further.

I got this bear called violet - nothing but this worked. Press the paw and baby nytol in sound form would commence.

We’ve been weaning a few days. So far I have only fed him sweet potato purée and breast milk porridge. So no likely allergens. We have been told to feed him allergens but are building up to that. It’s all so frustrating, nothing can ever be attributed to something specific and process of elimination takes months

Sleep train! Just do it! All these people talking about how awful it is - but this is awful! How could anyone advocate it continue?! If you can spring for a couple of hundred quid there are loads of consultants who will help you. Or there are books and online resources etc. if you follow the steps religiously then it works and often very quickly, the first night sometimes. You owe it to poor DS and yourselves.

I totally get you - this was DD1 (without the sleeping well to begin with thing!).

We sleep trained at about 6 months, and it DID work. She went from 3hs screaming with me trying everything, to (first night) 30mons whinging in the cot with me popping in at intervals. Within a week she was going to sleep happily, but still waking for feeds (which was fine).

I was literally hallucinating with sleep deprivation beforehand, so I entirely understand the fact that ‘this will pass’ is bollocks for you right now.

Im now up with DD2 who is a good sleeper, so I know it wasn’t me being a crap mother!

I wouldn't sleep train as he sounds like something is causing him pain. Leaving him to cry in pain for hours would just be awful, could he be dairy intolerant or maybe his teeth are causing him pain? Acid reflux maybe? Does he seem more comfortable upright? My friends little one had infant gaviscon and he was a different baby overnight. Get to the root of his upset before sleep training. Sorry you are going through this though it is absolutely exhausting when you can't get any rest and then you have a grumpy baby to look after

Everything I'd be checking:
Does his breath smell sour/acidic?
Could be silent reflux
Does he fart a lot? I'd burp my DD constantly but she'd still be full of wind causing tummy upsets and lots of farting - it was the milk/soy causing issues.
6 weeks dairy/soy free is not a huge amount of time despite what docs will say. It does take some time for our little ones guts to recover.

Only thing that helped our night time sleep at that age was to make sure there was a big gap between feeding and bed. We'd do breastfeed, bath, pjs, stories/singing, rock to sleep. My DH had to take over for a while or DD would just scream and scream to feed to soothe her silent reflux which just compounded the issue.

I know everything says feed on demand but I had to be really strict on feeding every 3 hours max throughout the day and never before sleeps to stop the feed/silent reflux/feed cycle.
It did take a while but things improved.
We sleep trained around 7 months once the crying wasn't so constant.

I would give calpol, because he cant tell you if hes in pain? I would check and see what the GP says, does he have any dietary issues which is why he is early weaned, could be something connected to digestion which is why he doesnt want to lay down?

I agree with PP, sleep training isnt going to work because he is too distressed. I would try ruling out pain first. x

I’ve just reread the thread. Sleep training is meant to teach your baby to sleep without you. Without whatever support you are providing to them to go to sleep - cuddles, patting whatever. If he won’t go to sleep even when you are cuddling him then it wouldn’t be sleep training. I’m assuming he won’t sleep if you co sleep?

DS used to scream his head off in the evenings. I read about the ‘period of purple crying’ which suggested that it was just something that babies did. I know that doesn’t really help you and I’m really sorry. The only thing I can suggest is getting outside help while you get some sleep, and take him to the GP or get your health visitor involved.

Updating. Today he napped from 5.45-6.30pm and seems a little happier, I got him a new vibrating bouncer thing that also seems to be relaxing him, he’s sat in it now watching me have a bath. Normally by now he would be screaming his head off. Going to give him some gripe water and aim for an 8pm/8.30 bedtime.

thanks again for the suggestions I’m taking them all on board

Sending you so much luck Op. I know the desperation all too well - my son was about 9m when he went from decent sleeper to similar to what you’re describing. He would go to bed ok but then wake and scream for hours. We had mixed results with ST though.
You mention eczema above. We were prescribed piriton for DS eczema, with the doc saying “give him this and he’ll sleep through the night”. Well, he didn’t! But might be worth trying if there’s a chance his skin could still be bothering him. Eczema is worse at night and can be triggered by a slight cough/cold apparently

He’s asleep
i could cry with relief

Amazing!! Now have a lie down yourself!!

That's great @Desperatemumpleasehelpme also get his ears checked as previously suggested. I had a similar baby with eczema and allergies, silent reflux that woke every 2 hrs, he's 10 now and still not a great sleeper but much better. I can't wait for the teenage years when I'll have to drag them out of bed. Hope you have a good night 🤞

Just a heads up check the porridge carefully. The ingredients can contain dairy so even if you use breastmilk the porridge still has dairy in it. A mistake I once made with ds.