I made the biggest mistake

[Anonmum1993]

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, and I'm happy to receive it as I 10000% deserve it, but I've made the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and I tapped my child on the bum. I feel absolutely awful the guilt is eating me up, and I just can't understand why I ever did something like that. I was never smacked asa child. I know this makes me a bad parent, I am ashamed of myself. I know better. My child didn't cry, but he was shocked. I am absolutely against smacking so I am just so mad at myself, I just think I've ruined all the trust we had, I'm pretty much an abuser and I feel so so so terrible. I can't stop crying about it, it was a couple of days ago but I think it over all day. I said sorry straight away after and gave him a cuddle.

I've been such a gentle parent up until then, I've breastfed, baby wore, never left him to cry, we bed share, I rock and cyddle him to sleep every night. I'm normally great at keeping my cool, I get on his level during tantrums and try to understand what he needs, I've never shamed him, never done time outs or any sort of punishment. I've only shouted a handful of times when he bit me. I'm so confused why I did this horrible thing and what should I do?
For context when I tapped his bum we were laying on his bed and I was trying to get him to nap. I was exhausted but that's no excuse. He was climbing all over me (he's very rough witj me) he kept grabbing me and hitting my face, trying to jump on me etc. I was gently telling him to use his kind hands and stop, I was about to get off the bed to move myself away when he rolled off me and kicked me as hard as he could 3 times really hard in the chest. I just snapped and tapped him on yhe bum.and said stop! I feel like the worst person. I am under a lot of stress in my relationship with his dad so I don't know I'm just on edge but I'm so worried about the damage I've done to our relations and I'm well aware smacking does not work in terms of correcting behaviour. I just needed to get it off my chest and any horrible comments I will gladly receive as I deserve it.

Good grief

dont know what is worse, the ridiculous overreaction of the OP/stealth boasting about perfect parenting

or the equally dumbass hand wringing of similarly intellectually vacant pp.

just wow. Seriously, you’re all batshit.

To all those people saying a smack never did any harm - I was spanked often as a child by my DF and it absolutely did me harm.

It damaged our relationship, since I was frightened of him (he was quite a kindly man really). And it skewed my attitudes in later life so that I am now overly afraid of male rage to the point of being very conciliatory in my relationships and never being able to fight back for fear of getting hurt. It's something I'm working on.

That was from repeated smacking, not just a one off, so not really relevant to you OP. I wanted to address the "it's 100% not a problem" crowd on here.

You did nothing wrong. Gentle (read wishy-washy) parenting hasn't worked.

The odd shock like this will do your toddler no harm and probably make him realise that there are boundaries he shouldn't cross.

I am not pro smacking, I'm against it. We are all human though.

If that's your biggest mistake, then you are a near perfect parent. Honestly, your ds will experience far worse in the rough and tumble of the playground.

It's not something to make a habit of but stop feeling guilty. It happens. I once slapped my 3yo ds, purely on instinct, because he punched me in the face. He was shocked, yowled for a minute but hasn't punched me since. We each took a step back.

Take a deep breath, and move on.

@Namemchangeforthispostonly101

oh the irony.

youre giving it out to her for saying tapped, not smacked, now you're saying hit, not smacked.

@Anonmum1993

calm down. You tapped/smacked his bum after he repeatedly kicked you. He was surprised, but clearly not hurt.

maybe this will make you realise that you're chatting gently parenting is too wishy washy & he needs more firm boundaries. He's not going to melt if he understands no means no.

stop being so overly dramatic. It's not abuse & you're the worst mother. You need to get a grip (preferably if those little kicking legs!)

This thread was started in August last year. What do you imagine you are contributing at this point?

Sorry deleted as realised old post.