11 year age gap

[MadamPia]

What is it like having children that have an 11 year age gap?

My first is 11, I’m expecting my second and I feel like I am about to start parenting all over again!

What were some of the most unexpected things you had to adjust to? What advice would you give a parent about to experience this?

I have a 10 year gap and it’s honestly ideal. It’s worked so much better than I thought. My older 2 have always doted on their little sister and helped look after her (and teased her!).
my youngest has to tag along giving the older ones lifts and going shopping but as they get older the older ones want to spend more time with their friends.
occasionally we have to split the group eg cinema trips for older films but apart from that the younger one slots in.
Holidays are possibly a bit more tricky- so the older ones could be more adventurous and long haul (if we had lots of money) so we have to take into consideration how much the little one can stay up, tolerate heat, walk around etc. We’re away atm at Disney and the teens are loving it as much as the 6 yo and they were helping carry her when it go late but also went off to do their own thing.
mine youngest is very amenable but I’ve enjoyed every moment since she was born.

We did this. Things we found out were:

Toddlers and teenagers, not that different 😳

There are few places to take them that they'll both like - big pools with slides, Centerparcs and trampoline parks maybe.

Our younger ones now have a fantastic older sibling to stay with and have sleepovers! Oldest DC can be a useful double agent too!

Oldest one found it harder to get used to a new baby but was much more rational than say a toddler would be.

Older one can watch while you nip to loo etc and have own quite special relationship too.

I'd let older one be as hands on with younger one as possible, I wish I'd done that more.

When you have a teenager going through all the crazy teenager stuff... stuff that you'd never expect and you have a toddler needing soooo much time and attention, make sure you have time set aside for just you and your teenager. It's so important. We had a weekend in London, shopping trips, spa days etc. massively important.

Your eldest seeing all the gross baby stuff gives them a great insight into parenting apparently! 😂

It's not easy but now it's so lovely to have another adult that loves the younger ones so fiercely and protectively.

Good luck!

Oh and also older DCs friends have also grown up with the younger ones and so they look out for them too! Quite sweet.

@maltesermagnet

Please, share your secret on how you raised a child so sweet, loving, and affectionate towards their younger sibling. I have only one 19-year-old son, I'm in a new relationship, and I'm trying to give him a little brother or sister. Honestly, I don't know if or how I should prepare him for this situation.

Oh she was a horrible horrible teenager at times. She's in her 20s and all grown up! Awful teen though not as bad as some of her friends!
It took time.
Now younger one is a teen I console myself with the fact they grow out of it!

Just make your son as involved as possible. Try hard to see things his way. Being a teen now is really hard. Sorry don't want to sound preachy, we definitely had some hard old years!!!

@maltesermagnet

At times, I feel guilty and wonder if I should let him remain an only child.

Ah but at 19 he'll be moving out soon I imagine. Ha not a child so can be another loving adult in your new little ones life. You shouldn't have your hands too full with a 19 year old. He'd probably be the cool one your LO would look up to...