So for context it’s my old school friends 30th coming up. Me, her and another friend used to be super close but since I’ve had kids I don’t really see or hear from her unless it’s in a group setting or chat. Me and the other friend still see each other a lot and are close and her and 30th friend also see each other a lot and are close. The friend whose birthday it’s going to be lives about 2 hours away from us.
Now I have 2 DDs (just turned 3 and a 5 month old). DD1 has never slept well, only just stopped breastfeeding on her third birthday and we still bedshare to get decent sleep. DD2 is ebf, used to take a pumped bottle but not since about 2 months old and co sleeps with me. DH is in the spare room. Now he can get DD1 to sleep if she knows I’m out and not an option but in the night if he tries to settle her then it makes things worse and obviously with the ebf’ing DD2 heavily relies on me and doesn’t like DH when she’s tired!
Now my friend who’s turning 30 is having a huge party where she lives, starting with drinks at hers with a close bunch then out to a place booked out for the rest of the night. This would mean having to leave both kids overnight 2 hours away or bringing them to a hotel to be with me when I’d be out anyway etc etc. When told about these plans today from our other friend I was given a lot of “we would love you to be there” “you’ve not had much freedom these last 3 years!” “We’ve not even been out for meals etc!”. When I see them it’s for lunches or going to each others house in the day etc. Very daytime heavy things. Worth mentioning non of these school friends have kids yet and don’t get it, nor would I expect them to! And part of me would love to go and not have to miss out but it would upset my kids and I don’t know how I’d logistically even do it. WWYD??