Breastfeeding formula vicious cycle

[Jaberwocky123]

I know this one’s been covered before so apologies for the repeat! But I’m in a bit of a state and would love some advice.

My DS (my first) is 3 weeks old today.

I live in Mexico because of work and it’s been hard trying to understand all the cultural differences with babies. The first one I came across was that the nurses in hospital really encouraged me to give formula to my newborn once per night on the two nights I was in hospital. The rest of the time I was breast feeding.

We got the hang of it by about day 4 when milk came in but since then I panicked about not producing enough during “the witching hour” (about 5/6pm-9pm for me)— when he cries and fusses non stop — and the Mexican Pediatrician suggested I supplement with formula. I did it 4 times, about ounce each time and he’d conk out, and my DH gave him bottle one night when I slept.

So that’s 7 times in total. And I feel like an idiot having not done enough prep because I didn’t know about the formula trap until I read these threads. And the idea of him sleeping longer meaning I missed a feed etc. And I wish I hadn't listened to the professionals and don’t rly know who to trust for advice out here!

I now feel like I’m not producing enough sometimes and that I’ve got myself into a bad cycle, and just wishing I could do these three weeks all over again. I feel like supply is low. Is it too late to get back on track?

Sorry for long post, just feeling like I’d love some UK advice after getting so muddled by everyone out here! Thank you!

The cluster feeding is designed to help your body produce more milk, giving formula is not helpful and terrible advice. It also sounds like you might not have been pace feeding the bottle?

Personally I would get rid of the bottle right away and let your body do it's job. But it would be more sensible to contact an IBCLC accredited breastfeeding specialist to get advice. Why wouldn't your body produce enough?

Honestly, don't worry. Formula gets a bad press and things like the 'formula trap' get blamed - the evidence in reality shows a small amount of formula supplementation in those first few days increases your chances of long term BFIng success! And that's what you've done. As your milk was a little late coming in (common in first time mums), anything past 72 hours is "late" you did absolutely the right thing. What you have done is made sure your baby avoided any of the negative consequences like hypoglycaemia or dehydration.You've only given a tiny amount of formula, you haven't set a trap! Please don't worry about it.

What you need to do now is ride out the constant feeding bits as much as possible - keep a careful eye on weight gain to make sure they're getting enough. Three weeks is really awful for this as there's a big growth spurt and they're insatiably hungry but it should start to improve soon.

It’s such an anxious time, but try to relax a bit. Whether you need to supplement with formula or not, your baby will be fine.

As the PP says, try dropping the bottle for now - newborns feed a lot and it doesn’t mean you aren’t producing enough milk.

Are you in Mexico City? If so put the word out in the UK/US ex Pat community and see who is recommended for help with breastfeeding.

If you do end up continuing to use a formula feed to supplement, that’s fine too. Contrary to what the PP above says, some people can’t produce enough milk, and do need a top up. Just experiment to find what’s right for you and your baby.

And to echo what PP said, formula doesn't mean the end of breastfeeding. Some women do need to top up, whether through necessity (milk delay or low supply) or choice (need a break, convenience) and that's fine. Using formula doesn't mean you can't breastfeed!

It's fine, op. I mix fed and carried on bf my dd for over 2.5y. I barely know anyone IRL who fed that long if they exclusively breastfed, they just burnt out. (I'm sure many mums can! I just don't know many IRL)

I'm a strong believer that breastfeeding for longer is good for babies/toddlers, for their immunity, gut, oxytocin etc and if a couple of bottles of formula a day helps that happen, no worries.

Snap! I BF for more than three years because I combi-fed (I had low supply so physically unable to exclusively BF).

A lot of the women I met who EBF gave up within the first six months because it was so intense.

Thanks for all this, it really calmed me down. Am finding the guilt over decisions taken/not taken by far the hardest part of newborn life, and I think with everything in a second language and a far removed culture there’s that extra layer of confusion.

@Mummy08m @RidingMyBike impressive you both combifed for so long, amazing! Thanks for all the reassurance on formula.

Likewise @continentallentil — just someone telling you your baby will be fine helps so much in these uncertain moments late at night, thank you… and yes, in Mexico City, and definitely going to look out for some forums.

Good luck OP! I found with many parenting things that it's not just black and white but many shades of grey!

I had such poor information antenatally from the NHS about breastfeeding - I was told all women can EBF and formula is unnecessary. My baby ended up needing to be tube fed formula to save her life! It sounds like your hospital had a much more pragmatic attitude.

Everything will get easier every month, op. If I were you I'd carry on exactly what you're doing, bf all day and one bottle in the night that you sleep through - as long as the baby is doing OK on weight and regular wet nappies, and you aren't getting engorged at night, it all sounds totally fine imo.

Thanks for saying it's impressive to get to 2+ years but I promise it was really easy after about 4m, and got easier gradually leading up to that.

I remember the first 4w or so was hard, with sore nipples and occasional periods of engorgement and uneven emptying until dd and I got the hang of it. So hang in there, the hard bit is nearly over!

Exactly! In the UK, they so against using formula, while where I am from, they suggest to top it up with it in the first couple of weeks. The reason is that your milk is very likely to be enough so you don't want to end up with a starving baby. It won't affect your milk- if anything, it helped me.

While I was in the hospital here in the UK, the nurses were extremely against of me using formula, when I asked- my one day old was screaming and screaming as my milk wasn't enough. So I ended up with a baby who was too upset to even breastfeed- my little amount of milk went away.

Went home, started to pump (which they were also against for some reason), topped up with formula and breastfed. My milk came back, and my baby was calmly breastfeeding.

Some women are lucky and had endless supply from the begging. So they try to make you feel that should be the "normal". It's not.

You are doing everything right!

I bet there will be a branch of La Leche League - they are really helpful with that focused BF support. See if you can find one.

Don't fret anyway! Basically everything is fixable, even if you've started off in a non-ideal way, lots and lots and lots of people do this and continue to BF successfully.

I think it's around 4-6 weeks where the "excess" milk-producing cells start to die off, so just feed feed feed as much as you can for the next week or two to kind of communicate to your body "Yes we are using these thank you!!"

Oops sorry for being slow to reply here!

@Tina8800 so interesting to hear of someone from another country’s perspective. Fascinating to learn of all the differences across the world, and put UK - or what we’re always taught - into perspective. And thanks for the reassurance :)

@BertieBotts am still searching for a Leche League branch here but thinking of contacting my “local” UK one, as in where I was based before moving. Interesting about the 4-6 week cells, hadn’t heard about that before… am now communicating use to breasts — love that way of seeing it!

Anyway I’m now exclusively breastfeeding and pumping after sessions to increase supply, and now and again giving him some expressed milk. He’s putting on weight. I think it’s all going okay!

So glad for mumsnet help. I hired a night nurse this week to help with two nights and cultural differences again: I came in to find the cot had been filled with two rolled blankets, a ramp and a pillow! 🫣 I was pretty shocked and explained about the “nothing in cot and on his back” rule. Similarly she kept him swaddled in masses of blankets to the point where he got heat rash, as was so paranoid about him getting a cold and convinced that hiccups meant he was freezing!

At the same time she has cared for babies for 18 years and all have been fine with her methods and she is quite suspicious of my changes and a bit worried. So much information/changes/rules/pressures around babies across the globe — what a wormhole to get into!

It is totally weird. I had two babies in Germany after having my first in the UK, it really opens your eyes to how much baby advice we think is totally essential but it turns out it's just cultural, and conversely what weird things other countries do with their babies/children.

The German nurses wanted to wrap the babies up in a billion layers as well. I had one given to me in about three layers of clothing and then swaddled inside a sleeping bag! Yes, arms in! I thought it was so weird and immediately unwrapped him. And the sleeping bag was as thick as a duvet. But I loved that they had cosleeping cots as standard in the hospital.