When did your BF baby start letting other people hold them?!

[MotherOfDragon20]

I have an almost 5 month old DS, EBF since birth but will take a few oz of EBM from a bottle once a week or so when I take our toddler out. He’s generally a great baby, smiley, happy little thing the problems come after 6pm when he turns into a demon if anyone other than me as much as looks at him never mind hold him! he WILL NOT allow anyone else hold him, settle him or put him to bed, screams and screams until I take over. I obviously don’t mind putting him to bed every night but I really miss putting our toddler to bed and reading her a story at bedtime.

He still wakes every 2 hours overnight to feed and naps are only 30 minutes unless held (which is mostly impossible with a 2 year old), and now he’s started waking for the day at 6am. All this makes for one very exhausted mum! I have an amazing husband who wants to help me but DS just won’t let him! How long did this stage last for everyone else?

Since birth. We just tag and switch between us. So for example, we read stories all together downstairs then DH might get baby changed for bed while I sort toddler, then we'll switch and I'll take baby to breastfeed while DH reads toddler another story and/or toddler procrastinates. Once baby had had their fill (and is sometimes not always asleep after BF) then I swap out with DH again and he takes baby downstairs to wind and put to bed while I tuck toddler in and say goodnight. The next night we'll swap so I'll get baby ready for bed before feeding and DH does the toddler.

Baby wakes around 11, 230 and 530 for another feed. Day naps last as long as the toddler will allow 😆 (if we're out at the park and baby in the pram, naps are about an hour, otherwise it's 10mins here and there, 30mins if held).

DH is away a fair amount too so at least twice a week it's just me and the kids for bedtime.

2yo and 4m old.

No advice but in the same boat and it's hard, feeling exhausted and guilty all the time too! Hopefully things improve as food is introduced

He will allow it, you just need to persevere (and be out of sight/earshot). Once you've got back to DH being an equal carer, get him to resettle the baby without milk every other wake-up so he's doing 4 hours between feeds overnight, he'll then sleep in 4 hour chunks too.

With my eldest, DH started taking over bathtime. We graduallyextendedhis involvement.

I'm not sure it's connected to breastfeeding. I haven't noticed any difference with regards to how clingy or not they are.

It sounds very hard but if that's what he wants at the moment, I would just go with it. He'll get there in his own time.

DS was always happy to be held by DH and DM, but only went to sleep with me. Also only took a bottle if I was out of the house, and couldn’t deal with me being absent for more than 2-3 hours.

What fixed that was me going back to work at 11mo, and being out of the house at bedtime a couple of nights a week (I was a junior doctor working shifts). DH did bedtime because he had to. DS got used to it eventually.

Bf both mine for over 2 years, but both were held by other people from day 1

I don't get how it's got to 5 months without you being able to pass him to anyone; you must be exhausted!

What happens when someone else holds him?

Agree with pp that you need to be out of the room so they cannot see, hear or smell you; they have to understand you are not an option

I don’t think it’s related to feeding. I EBF both of mine, DD was a complete velcro baby who screamed wherever she was handed over to anyone else (including DH quite often)

DS (younger) has always been way more chilled out and is less sensitive about basically everything. He cries at nursery drop off but he’s only been going a few weeks, other than that and when he wants a breastfeed he isn’t that bothered about where I am whereas DD still has a strong preference for me although she does go to other people sometimes now she’s 3!

I don’t think it’s connected to feeding either - just different temperaments.