Babysitting age

[dottieautie]

When I was 13 I used to babysit for my uncles kids until about 1am and then stay overnight and go home in the morning. I was never paid (other than crisps and sweets) because that was how my family did things and I was ok with that. My mum would leave us all day during the summer holidays while she was at work. My friends were the same with cousins and siblings. By 14 I’d do it for neighbours etc and be paid for it. This was late 80s/early 90s

My DD is just 14 and while in an emergency she’s been left to look after my 6 year old, I’ve never done it for a night out or in the evening where she’d have to put him to bed. She’s responsible and would know what to do in an emergency, she’s no less mature than I was at that age and she has access to a phone that I didn’t.

So why am I so uncomfortable at the thought of leaving her for 3-4 hours on an evening midweek so I can attend a work event? (6-9 pm with 30mins travel either side) Their dad is on nightshift and I can’t not go to this event, it’s how I make money. There is no one else to babysit and I can’t take the youngest with me because he’s like a whirlwind and it’s not the most tolerant of children industries.

Given babysitting was a source of income at 14 when I was that age, why are we (am I) so scared of doing it now?

Because your six year old is a whirlwind?

It may be that you know your ds might play up for his sister and that’s not really fair. how does dd feel about it?

if you don’t feel comfortable, find a babysitter - around us it’s teenage daughters of friends / acquaintances/ neighbours etc. put feelers out with friends / local Facebook. We pay £5 an hour for a 16 /17 year old. Admittedly not often because we don’t need to for work and can’t afford date nights plus babysitter, but it’s good to have an option.

I'm not sure any of us can tell you why you feel uncomfortable.
I would expect a 14yr old to be able to look after a 6 yr old in the early evening for a few hours.

Because...your own kid is more precious to you than other people's kids.

Because as a society our idea of what is age appropriate has shifted/is continually shifting so that childhood lasts longer and longer.

Our parents generation all left school at 15 and got jobs. It was perfectly acceptable for children to walk themselves to school from reception age. To play out in the street/away from home from age 4/5 etc.

Now we have threads where 12 year olds can't sit two rows in front of their parents on a plane. Nine year olds can't be left alone at a birthday party. An 8 year old left at home for 5 minutes warrants a call to social services. And so on.

Perceptions have changed. Also, interesting to note they vary massively between countries as well.

Out at functions and events yes he’s a whirlwind. Sat in front of the telly at home of an evening, no he’s not.

We dont have any friends with teenage kids to help but I’m also not sure my daughter would be too happy having someone a year
or two older than her babysit for her.

DS wouldn’t play up for his sister. I know from having had to go out for emergencies before they snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film together (they’d never dream of doing that when we’re around). They generally get on quite well.

I just find it odd that as a generation we were babysitting at 14 and we’ve decided our kids are less capable than we were.

'I just find it odd that as a generation we were babysitting at 14 and we’ve decided our kids are less capable than we were.'

You are the only one on this thread op who doesn't let your 14 year old babysit.

I don’t say anywhere I don’t let her babysit, I did say I haven’t left her an extended period of time at night covering putting my youngest to bed.

my reflections relate to this thing called the real world, you know- that place outside of mumsnet where real people exist and chat and stuff? It was frowned upon that I considered this in real life and I thought I’d ask here.