Letting babies "cry to sleep" advice.

[highheavenn]

My daughter is 8 weeks tomorrow and she's struggles to sleep on her own. She's constantly on me and I know this is creating bad habits a little bit. Yes my baby needs cuddles and love but she doesn't need to be on me when she's asleep right....

My nan always says "leave her to cry she will fall asleep" erm no she won't... she will scream and scream untill I pick her up. I'm not letting her get in that state for outdated advice (no offence nan)

If she was a lot older like 5 months plus it would be different. However, do I just keep trying to put her down? This is my third baby and I feel like Im a new mum 😂

Any sleeping advice or how to help baby soothe themselves etc? My baby won't take a dummy either ah!

Will she fall to sleep in the car or pram ?

First up, you are not creating bad habits. You are giving your baby the comfort and security of knowing that you will be there and in doing so helping her brain development and encouraging secure attachment to help her to develop into a more confident and secure child. Keep trusting your instincts, you are doing a wonderful job.

It is hard when they will only sleep on you, it really is. I would encourage you to look at BASIS online for some great resources on sleep. They include information on why babies sleep the way they do as well as info on things like safe bed sharing which can really help you to get sleep at night so long as you follow guidance and do not bed share in unsafe situations (eg after drinking alcohol, if you smoke, take drugs or if your baby was pre term or low birth weight)

Honestly some babies sleep well and some don't, it's not really caused by what you do. You can either give your child what they need, or refuse to. Or somewhere in the middle.
I had so many sleepless nights reading posts about teething, sleep regressing, drowsy but awake, and thinking I was doing something wrong. I actually thought it was some kind of practical joke all this rubbish online, but it turns out if you have an average baby it does work like that.
Parent the baby you have, but don't forget about yourself too.
Good luck, it should get better (at 2 years old in our case)

Oh I remember that stage! We had number 4 8month ago and he's so different to the others it's like being a new mum with the guilt of feeling we should know what we're doing! I agree with you - crying to sleep isn't a good idea. Baby is still very new so there's time to develop better sleep routines try not to worry. Some babies sleep. Some babies don't. Keep doing what you're doing and putting down when she's drifting off. Bum pats, leg rubs can help as it's touch they find comforting. Our youngest currently falls asleep on the sofa between us with his hand holding onto DH and me rubbing his leg then when he's asleep we move him in the cot. By 1am he's usually in bed with me. It's not how the textbook says to do it but it means he doesn't get ridiculously distressed and we get some sleep.

Some babies do need to be on someone to sleep. They get warmth, they can hear your heartbeat, they can feel you breathe, they feel secure with your arms around them. It's only a few weeks since they were in the womb with all those factors at play.
No, don't just leave them to cry. That is their only means of commute - it means they want/need something. Usually you.

Just hold your baby, that’s what she needs. You aren’t creating bad habits you are meeting her needs.

Exactly this. 8 weeks is tiny.

She does need to be on you when she’s asleep as far as she’s concerned. And lots of babies would agree with her!

Have you tried swaddling? DS was a contact sleeper but swaddling worked quite well for a partial bit of down-time until he was too mobile for it.

Watch for sleepy signs... and look at awake windows for age. I read on here someone who had success after two yawns to put them down.
Sometimes it works and they drift off on their own if you catch them at exactly the right moment before they go overtired.
At bedtime or during the night use a hot water bottle to pre warm the Moses basket. With a t shirt or sheet smelling of you.

She's 8 weeks old. She's so small and she's one of those babies who needs the closeness. Mine was also one of those babies. People told me I was creating bad habits but I ignored them and listened to my baby instead. I will never look back on that time negatively. You get it once and it's fucking hard and tiring no matter what you do so don't beat yourself up.

From birth, I would put mine down awake to encourage self settling and it worked after some time.

I also used the pick up/put down method which he responded well too.

It obviously isn't going to work for all babies but you also don't know if it will work for yours unless you try and I'm very glad that I did.