How to come with child starting reception?

[katem98]

Please please please be kind to me, I know I sound ridiculous...

I am sat here crying like a baby just at the thought of my DS starting reception. I can't shift this feeling and I don't want to show how sad I feel when I'm around him, I don't smother him in general but they sense things.

Aware I'm probably overreacting massively but I really can't help it!

I feel sad that I'll only have time to spend with him properly on weekends and evenings. I feel really emotional that time has gone so quickly, I'm never going to see him as the tiny baby he once was and I know now that when he starts school, he'll depend on me less and less for every day things.

Honestly, I know I sound silly when I'm typing this I just hope other parents maybe feel the same way and I'm not alone? Maybe somebody has a coping technique. I'd be grateful.

Heading was meant to read 'cope' if that isn't obvious

Well, I was sad my DS has just left nursery, but he just can't wait to start school so I'm happy that he's so excited. I'm not sad about only seeing him evenings and weekends because there are plenty of those, plus 13 weeks holiday a year!

I think it's okay to be a bit sad as each stage of their life passes, but not healthy to be crying so much over it, as you acknowledge.

My advice would be to give yourself a chunk of time one evening to allow yourself to be sad, cry, acknowledge your feelings. Then choose to put that behind you and get excited for all the things he's going to learn, the friends he'll meet, the experiences he'll have. Everytime you start to think about him leaving and get sad, force yourself to think of something happy. The less you allow yourself to think about it, the less you will call it to mind. Then you get on with enjoying your son and marvel at how he's growing and changing.

@StaySpicy Thank you ❤️ that is exactly what I needed to read.

He's struggled a little with preschool and doesn't seem overly excited for school so this doesn't help much I don't think, I'm hoping he'll love it.

I think I'm letting myself cry and be sad tonight.

True about the 13 weeks holiday per year, I will hold on to that!

I don't think it's silly at all but you could turn these feelings on their head a little and consider this: missing him, missing the little tot he once was will be mitigated with the first time he comes out of the reception classroom clutching a bit of his work, when he comes out with a sticker on his shirt saying "great phonics littlekatem98" or "great counting littlekatem98", when you sit and read his reading books together for the first few times, when you get his first teacher's report, when he gets his first best friend, when he goes to his first classmate's party, goes on his first playdate and then before you know it you'll not be sad any longer. Mine are 20 and 18 and I remember those feelings well!

Hope he has a great start to school!

I was a bit like this with my first. It was quite emotional having my baby suddenly seem so grown up. By my 3rd kid, I skipped her into school and practically ran from the gates 🤣🤣 The feeling will soon pass and whilst you will always get those pangs (sobbed my heart out at my eldests year 6 leavers assembly this year!), you'll soon be moaning about the 6 weeks holidays like the rest of us 🤣

Same here, my third will got to school next year and I can't wait!

With my first I was bereft and honestly felt like I would feel like that forever. He's 8 now and I can confirm that the feeling only lasted a couple of weeks before we all settled and I quite quickly started enjoying a bit more time with his siblings.

Indulge yourself a bit, but also know that this will pass and is just the start of them getting a little bit of their own life outside of you, which is hard to accept at times as a mum, but is exactly what they need.

I feel sad that I'll only have time to spend with him properly on weekends and evenings
What makes you think that? If you work every day then surely that's the same bow around his nursery hours. And if you don't work or not every day there's still loads of time. I have one day off a week and it isn't a day really, it's only about 6 hours 9-3 once the school run is done/started.

3.15ish is still very early.

My DS is starting in reception in Sept so I get it but I am also going to end up seeing more of him I think and it will be better quality time I think. He's currently in nursery 8-6, 4 days a week and has one day with me. Now he'll finish at 3pm, have a nanny for 3 days (although I'll generally be WFH) and will have me picking him up twice a week. I'm really excited by my afternoons with him as my full day off with him can be a bit of a slog.

My dd1 started reception last September and I would have been the same, but I had dd2 a few months before she started so I had the baby to focus on!

I do find the after school period quite rushed and poor quality time (she has slightly longer days due to after school activities) as we're just doing the dinner/bath/bed routine (busier with the 2 dc). She used to be in nursery 3 days so I used to have 4 days entertaining her so that was a big change for me.

What helps has been keeping weekends focused on quality time - so I deal with chores, errands and batch cooking in the week, and get groceries delivered in the week. I plan out weekend days with a day trip or activity (things like a visit to a big park/soft play some distance away so we don't go often, funfair or theatre trip). We've resisted doing drop-off classes at weekends so we can spend the time together as a family at weekends (but that means fitting in classes after school, which has its own challenges) and we do a family swim session. DH and I spend the time together with our dc rather than having any separate child-free time at weekends, which works for us although I know some parents need their alone time. But it sort of maximises our time together and means we can do longer day trips across town.