AITA - For not allowing my partner time alone with our daughter

[Rose1905]

AITA
My LG is 3 months old and has been raised by me and my mum. My partner would rather sit in our room and play games than spend time with her. He has always been like this and it's a chore to even get him to give her a bottle.
He now wants to be able to take her out on his own to see his family. I asked to come with him and he said his mum wants it to be just him and the baby. I told him I do not feel comfortable with this. I feel she is too young and that neither him or his mum has spent enough time with her to understand her needs. His mum also did not raise any of her children, she chose to give them to her MIL to raise until they were 5/6 years old and she had an established career.
My partner never wanted children, a secret he kept from me for the last 2 years. Whenever I mentioned children, acted like he wanted them later in life. He then told me after I got pregnant that he was planning on holding me off until I finally gave up. We actually split up after we found out I was pregnant as he didn't want her. We spent 3 months apart and then he come back saying he was scared and he was ready to be a family.
I believe he blames my daughter for having to leave university in England (we live in Scotland) and through that he struggles to bond.
I personally don't trust my partner enough to be with her away from me I.e. out of the house.
Am I the asshole for not allowing him to take her to see his family or do other understand my worries?

He admitted to future faking you your whole relationship and is a shit partner and father and you are still with him? Why? Sack him off and he can fight for limited contact through the courts if he wants.

There's a lot to unpick here.

If he doesn't know how to care for her, then no, he shouldn't have a 3 month old alone! Tiny babies are helpless, you are her advocate.

However, I think there's a lot here you need to think about. Is he likely to get more involved? If not, what does he bring to your DD's life?

Throw this man in the bin where he belongs. I wouldn’t let my tiny baby go anywhere with him either.

came here to say this. Do it.

No don’t let him take her. He should go back to University and you can happily raise your baby with your Mothers help. You will likely find a better man in your future too if that’s what you want.

I assume you're both very young. AITA is a very immature way of considering your daughter's wellbeing here. What's most important is not his attitude towards pleasing his mother or his plan to outrun your clock but his willingness to learn how to be a good parent going forward. That's where I'd be insisting to focus conversations, and visiting anywhere without you is a non starter.

YABU for using the acronym AITA.

Why do you call him your partner?

He's not your partner, he's a child sponging off your mum.

How old are you both?

his mum wants it to be just him and the baby.

Tough. She doesn’t get a say. It’s none of her business.

Your baby is just 3 months old, he didn’t want her and he doesn’t look after her. You can bet his mother is behind this request for a visit. He probably couldn’t be bothered to take her anywhere if it was up to him. You don’t trust him, and you’re right not to.

He sits in your room playing games instead of even trying to be a parent. Wouldn’t you both be happier ending the relationship?

Besides him wanting to take him to your MIL when neither of them know how to look after a young baby, how do you see the future panning out with him, his gaslighting and generally not being present for you or DD?

My partner never wanted children, a secret he kept from me for the last 2 years. Whenever I mentioned children, acted like he wanted them later in life. He then told me after I got pregnant that he was planning on holding me off until I finally gave up.

This is a FAR bigger problem