WYOO Babies or Toddlers intensity

[User1706]

I have a two year old who I love more than anything he's an absolute joy. But it's a big but he's bloody I intense. I know it's all very normal, but I'm struggling with: (to name a few)

He hates all our food and won't eat.

• The lack of sharing.
• Bathtime meltdowns.
• Tantrums.
• Nappy change meltdowns.
• Going to nursery tantrums.
• Brushing teeth meltdowns.
• Broken nights and 4am starts, which aren't in any sense cuddly or calm and involve trains, trucks, and ba ba noises... (This is a whole thread in its own right).

It got me thinking this is so intense and exhausting made worse by working as there is just no real downtime. I've been fantasising about those days when he was a tiny baby . Yes, his sleep was exhausting, and we had constant hospital involvement, but boob and cuddles also solved most problems. Do I just not fully remember it because of exhaustion? Am I living in a dream world because of how difficult I find things now? What's your personal opinion was the tiny baby or the toddler time easier/more manageable?

It is hard. We have a mixture of non negotiables and if it is not hurting me personally I ignore and move on.

Brushing teeth is a non negotiable. I have sat on my child before to do it. We do a lot of talking about things that live in his teeth. We have had a family of dinosaurs that like to sneak in so we need to get them out. With food I will plate up and then he can remove one/two items but must eat the rest (I was cruel last night and put carrots on his plate knowing he would not eat them but it meant he had to eat the beans)

For other things like not wearing shoes/jumper/socks I work on the basis it is not going to impact me directly so he has to live with the consequences

Will he cosleep? DS will join us in the middle of the night and go straight back to sleep

With nursery we do a lot of talking about what a boring day it is going to be with work and how much fun it will be at nursery.

Sending you a hug as they can be so hard at this age

It's a tough age!

I found tiredness/hunger were massive triggers for meltdowns, so if you can get those sorted it makes a huge difference. Problem is toddlers are so flipping uncooperative sometimes....

How much are you prepared to bed food rules? Sometimes just getting frequent caloeies in can make a big difference, but that does tend to lead to slightly less good food choices! Two of my 3 have been through picky eating phases and if I totally stuck to my guns they got hungry and grouchy. Raisins eat eat goodgo to for mine, quick bit of sugar perked them up a bit.

Sleep is more of a difficult one. If they aren't getting enough, meltodowns will happen. So good luck to you! They do improve over time. Are they napping ok?

Avoid situations that cause meltdown if you can. Some things are obviously non-negotiable, but maybe don't do bathtime if youcan avoid it? Or do it earlier in the day? Would a quick rinse with a shower head or a flannel wash do the job most of the time? One of mine loves bathtime unless hes tired, in which case all help breaks loose. So we just don't do one of he's tired. Avoid any battles that you can!

My eldest was a bit like this. She’s much better now she’s 3, she’s still intense but her language and understanding has come on so much it’s much easier to reason with her.