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Original poster

Why does he do this??? Driving me insane

14 replies

xxxJess123xxx · 24/08/2023 21:33

Hi all, my son is 4 and a half. Very hyper little boy who is on the go all day
until recently, slept well and through the night no bother

he has got into the habit now of doing some weird things at bedtime which is slowly driving me insane.
I ask would he like a kiss and a cuddle and he says no so I go to leave and then he screams for me to go back to give him the kiss and the cuddle
but when I go back, again he says no so I leave and he screams for me to go back 🙄

eventually, after a couple of times of this nonsense, I tell him I’ll wait for him to calm down and come back in 5 minutes
all he’ll breaks loose, he gets out of bed, screams, recons he cant reach his quilt, calls me like a lunatic

I keep calm and keep putting him back in bed and say it’s night time, time for sleep.
I have tried ignoring, doesn’t work, shouting, doesn’t work.

what is this weird habit and how can I break it???! He starts school in September so needs his sleep. Shares a room with his 7 year old sister xx

OP posts:
Seeline · 24/08/2023 21:51

Stop asking if he wants a kiss/cuddle?
Tell him you want one?
Change bedtime routine slightly at the same time.

He is doing it to delay bedtime, and because he is getting extra attention.

Original poster
xxxJess123xxx · 24/08/2023 22:46

I have said I would like a kiss before bed, but the same thing happens

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/08/2023 08:09

What time is bedtime and is he getting plenty of exercise during the day?

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GrazingSheep · 25/08/2023 08:11

Is he maybe getting a bit anxious about starting school ?

ReeseWitherfork · 25/08/2023 08:12

My little boy is starting to school on September and some weird little behaviours have emerged. I feel confident it’s anxiety about about school. Last couple of nights, he definitely doesn’t want us to leave him at bedtime even though he’s not saying as much, so we’ve been sitting with him for a bit.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/08/2023 08:15

ReeseWitherfork · 25/08/2023 08:12

My little boy is starting to school on September and some weird little behaviours have emerged. I feel confident it’s anxiety about about school. Last couple of nights, he definitely doesn’t want us to leave him at bedtime even though he’s not saying as much, so we’ve been sitting with him for a bit.

Totally agree, it could be anxiety about school. Stop mentioning it and only talk about school if he asks.

Has he got any books about starting school?

If he won't accept a kiss and a cuddle, could you kiss a Teddy instead and tell him if he wants a kiss and cuddle Teddy has it for him?

Greydogs123 · 25/08/2023 08:17

I would stop phrasing it as a question. Say “Right, time for a kiss, cuddle and sleep time”. Give him an extra long cuddle and then be a bit breezy “night night” and go. Maybe during the day you can look through some books about starting school - there’s a nice topsy and Tim one and one by Allan ahlburg which might help him express any worries or questions he has about it, so that he then isn’t anxious at bed time.

WhatdidIdoyesterday · 25/08/2023 08:18

Mine developed a fear of the dark a month or so before school started, and also started shouting me to help them on the toilet in the early mornings, despite being completely fine at nursery for 2 years. I'd say its anxiety or wanting more control over things.

ReeseWitherfork · 25/08/2023 08:34

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/08/2023 08:15

Totally agree, it could be anxiety about school. Stop mentioning it and only talk about school if he asks.

Has he got any books about starting school?

If he won't accept a kiss and a cuddle, could you kiss a Teddy instead and tell him if he wants a kiss and cuddle Teddy has it for him?

Show quote history

Thank you for this link. I’d bought my kid a few books already, but there’s some ok here I’d not seen. OP, I’d recommend the colour monster goes to school. The colour monster is a good book generally.

Ollifer · 25/08/2023 08:37

I'm sure people will be on to say stand firm and just walk out and leave him but with my son what worked absolute wonders was me just sitting on the end of his bed as he fell asleep as long as he was lying down calmly with his eyes closed. If he started getting up and messing about I'd leave. He's almost six and I still occasionally do it now as he only takes about two mins to fall asleep! But it really worked and stop the battle of me walking in and out and him becoming distressed.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/08/2023 08:42

No problem Reese. Love the username BTW Grin

Original poster
xxxJess123xxx · 25/08/2023 14:56

Thank you for your replies

he is really excited for school, doesn’t seem at all anxious to me but maybe it’s a possibility.

teddy kiss is a good idea.

I used to sit in their room a year or so but feel like that could make it worse as he likes to mess around

he goes to bed about 8.30pm (but can take an hour to go to sleep with this nonsense) and wakes around 7.30am

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/08/2023 15:19

he goes to bed about 8.30pm (but can take an hour to go to sleep with this nonsense) and wakes around 7.30am

My DD has always had trouble getting to sleep. What worked for her was going to bed earlier. She needed a long wind down with a bath, stories and then something like an audiobook or guided meditation for children to listen to.

Original poster
xxxJess123xxx · 25/08/2023 15:25

Sioux, it used to be 7.30pm but gradually, he just wasn’t tired at that time x

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