Tips on baby newborn-12 months

[HopefulBeckie]

Hi,

I have an almost 10 month old myself and my best friend who doesn’t have many mates with babies is due to have a baby soon. As a gift I want to make a guide book with as much advice possible and I don’t feel I can make it alone as I’m still learning myself. If anyone has any tips at all for a baby up to 1 years old it would be super helpful to add to the book. Absolutely anything to do with raising a baby is relevant.

Does your friend want this? I didn't want any unsolicited advice. I googled for official advice and opinions when I wanted it, or asked on here.

Being presented with a scrapbook of other people's ideas on stuff, a lot of which inevitably will be irrelevant if specific situations/problems/temperaments don't arise would have been something I'd have found incredibly patronising and awkward.

Don’t give a new mother a scrapbook of random advice would be my advice @HopefulBeckie

The only advice I would give in such a guide is 'listen to your baby and noone else: what works for you might not work for others.'

I would have been insulted if my friend had given me a book of their unsolicited advice, and wondering if they thought I wouldn't be able to parent or have the capacity to figure out parenthood myself.

Thanks for your input. The advice is simply advice meaning she doesn’t have to do what it says. She can use her own judgment for what she feels is best for her baby. Also, I’m not going to overwhelm her with too much info and she has said that when the baby is born she’s like as much advice possible as she is nervous about becoming a new mom. So I figured it would be nice to write it down so she can look at it as and when she needs it.

I wouldn't like this tbh, sorry

Yeah don't do this....

Absolutely not.

@HopefulBeckie why don’t you just suggest she buys a book like First Time Parent and goes to NCT before baby arrives? I don’t see the point in giving her random bits of random peoples advice that might not even be recommended or good advice and then also expect her to read it when the baby is here!

I mean if someone posts saying ‘oh my advice is don’t bother sterilising after 6 months baby will be fine’ are you really going to put that in there for your friend to read? Or are you going to get the advice vetted before you put it in?

The mind boggles!!!

You know your friend best so if you think this would be something she would like then my advice would be to use fairy liquid and cold water to rinse a poonami stain immediately and then wash with next load. Has worked every time for me.

Also, in my opinion, malteasers are the ultimate night feed snack in the first week or so after birth.

I think if you stick to general advice/hacks it could be a nice idea, as long as you don’t get into anything that would be considered telling her how to parent.

Don’t do it.

Everyone has different advice such as routines vs baby led and sleep training vs not.

People on here would also contradict each other with what works for them.

I think a homemade present is a lovely idea. But I agree that it'll be hard to find consensus or consistency on advice (people get REALLY entrenched about things like breastfeeding and sleep training)

How about you do a book with some fun/cute little tips (like maltesers, how to get rid of poonamis etc), but also some nice quotes/poems about motherhood?

My small tip would be: if you're going out for the day, as well as packing spare outfits for your kid, pack one for yourself... (or keep one on the car). Nothing worse than getting shat on and then having to sit through the rest of lunch in a damp and slightly poo-y dress that you've inexpertly tried to clean in the bogs. It only happened to me once, but that's one too many times for me!

Also the "Your Baby Week By Week" book is pretty good if she wants reassurance and some practical advice. It's not too opinionated about baby led weaning, breastfeeding vs not, sleep training or not etc etc

Best new mum gift I ever got someone was a voucher for Just Eat. Or make her a huge load of freezer meals.
I'd take the advice of everyone else, it's a bad idea, sorry. I think it'd annoy 99% of new mums

I also think a book of random tips isn't a good idea, sorry OP
For things like poonami stains she can just Google, for tons of other tips she can just read posts in this forum 😂

But I think a lovely idea would be this book of poetry for new mums. It's by a lady called Emma Heaphy, she has an Instagram account and posts poems that are so raw and true about motherhood. They often bring me to tears and yet reassure at the same time. I'll link it!

Emma Heaphy Dear Motherhood

The only parenting book I found helpful was 'Parent like a Pediatrician'.

Honestly, I would have felt a bit offended if someone did what you're considering. Instead, why not get her something like a voucher for NCT or a fun baby class, and some vouchers for Just Eat or Hello Fresh?

That’s such a good idea thank you!

haha yeah I’m not going to state the obvious. And I never thought about vouchers for baby classes. She’d love that.

Thank you 😊

Please don't do this.

If she asks you for advice then by all means, give it - but don't go forth with advice that hasn't been asked for.

I think there is already far too much advice sticks to beat parents with knocking around. My advice to all is to never look at the clock, that every phase passes, to get outside every day and to try to resist Google and comparisons.

I don't know why everyone is getting so stressy and adamant that this is a bad idea. You know your friend best, and will know if she'll find something like this helpful - I think hacks etc are really useful!

Mine would be around not assuming a baby is awake when they start stirring or moving around. Some babies are noisy sleepers so you may end up waking them up! It'll be clear when they're awake and need your help.

Mine is really basic but when at 7 days old your baby has the heel prick test, hold baby over your shoulder and let them suck on your pinky, it keeps them from crying.
Obviously if your baby takes a dummy then that will work too but mine wouldn't take a dummy.

Yes this is a gamechanger! They sometimes make noises (not full blown crying) to get to sleep... letting my daughter get on with that really helped us turn a corner on sleep

Ahh yes that's another one I've actually only just discovered - that a little moan can be a sign that they're about to fall asleep! It's like they let out a bit of frustration before giving in to the land of nod, bless.

Thank you! I actually wish I was told this as I kept picking my son up as a newborn thinking something was wrong. I even videoed it to show the health visitor 🤦🏽‍♀️
They must’ve thought I was a right idiot haha