Dropping to 1 nap help

[MotherDuck13]

I think my 13 month old is starting the transition to 1 nap. Bedtime has become a real battle, he fairly often fights his afternoon nap, we’ve had some split nights and his stretches of night sleep have become shorter, particularly in the second half of the night.

I’ve tried one nap a couple of times. He normally wakes around 7am so I’ve tried putting him down around 11.30am to begin with, as he wouldn’t quite be able to make midday yet. And then do an early bedtime. But he ends up just sleeping one 30 min sleep cycle as I think he gets so overtired. I can sometimes get him back to sleep but only for another short sleep cycle. I’ve then put him to bed at 6pm but then his night sleep has then been horrendous. So many night wakes. I assume from overtiredness. I know this might mean he’s not quite ready yet but I don’t know how else to overcome all the other issues. He used to only wake twice a night but he’s now waking 4+ and it’s taking longer to get him back to sleep. I assume due to not enough sleep pressure OR being overtired. I can’t seem to find a middle ground.

Does anyone have any advice or had a similar experience?

Hi OP, I've been there, it's tough isn't it?

With our DS, he dropped nap 2 at around 16 mths, so a bit older than yours. We managed the transition by keeping him awake for ~5 hours in the morning so he was tired, then we did a whole nap time routine with books, etc so he got the sleep cues a la bedtime. Then we let him sleep as long as he wanted, but not more than 2 hours. If he had a solid nap 1, we'd stick to his usual nighttime routine. But if he looked tired/cranky/[insert your DS' own sleep cues], then we'd add a short 30 min nap 2, and pushed bedtime back by 30 mins. It kind of worked itself out after a month, and he's now on just one solid 2-hour nap.

DS has always been a good sleeper though, so that helps. He's slept through the night from 4.5 mths, for which I thank all the gods in Westeros every day😂. Every baby is different, so if any of this is helpful, go for it. Otherwise, here's a hug for solidarity while you work through this delightful toddler phase!

@CityGirlintheCountry thanks for your reply and solidarity! Unfortunately DS has always been a horrendous sleeper and his night sleep has always been very dependent on his day sleep. He’s very sensitive to being overtired, which leads to lots of night waking! If he reliably slept through regardless of naps, I could totally handle a grumpy toddler if a bit overtired but I’m so broken from such disturbed nights 😢 I pray for the day he sleeps through!

💪stay strong mama!

Is sleep training for the nights an option at all? DS wouldn't sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch at 4 mths, and I was going crazy with sleep deprivation. It killed me at the time, but doing the controlled/gentle cry it out worked after just a week or two, and totally changed things for us. We went from exhausted all the time, to only exhausted during the days 😋

Also a lot of friends in the US who had difficult sleepers used Taking Cara Babies on IG and swear by her methods, and she has a ton of free stuff on her account that might be helpful.