Why can’t I have a wee and change my baby at the same time?!

[Awkwardusername]

DD is 13 weeks old and we’ve spent a lot of time walking, going to coffee shops, exploring and generally working out life together!

I’ve noticed a distinct lack of places where I can change my baby AND have a wee myself because of the set up.

It seems to always be a disabled toilet with the baby change in it (great because I can fit the pram in, not so great if there’s a poo explosion and it takes ages to sort out - I don’t want to take up the toilet for someone who needs it!) or the baby change is in the hand washing area of the which means everyone in there has to look at her soiled arse, AND I can’t use the toilet because the pram doesn’t fit in the cubicle.

Today I was at a toilet where there was a large disabled cubicle that was locked and needed a radar key, and the baby change was next to the sinks. I was desperate so had to go into a standard cubicle and use the pram to block the door so nobody could see me using the toilet if they came in! Luckily nobody did!

Am I missing a trick? I live in a coastal town right next to a big city so it’s not as if I’m particularly rural!

Just go to a normal cubicle and leave the pram outside. One on the end is less inconvenient for other people. Also pee quickly.

It's a common problem! Some places are really good and have a baby change with a loo. John Lewis and Gloucester Services in the M5 some of the best. I find myself remembering the good ones and specially going there, but agree, loads are crap. Easier now my DD is 1 and in a rucksack carrier - fits in cubicals where a pram doesn't.

As for the ones with the hand dryer next to the baby change mat 😡. Holy grail is table space, loo and hand towels

I think it might be a case of figuring out where the best baby change facilities are near you. I also live in a coastal town near a big city and I find the area very baby friendly and there are some great places near me. M&S tend to have a separate baby changes with a toilet for you, also usually have a separate feeding room. I usually head there for a baby change in town. The boots and next near me are also reasonably good.

I went into the city close to me recently and in the main shopping center, the changing room was lovely and spacious and there was a feeding room with comfy chairs and phone charging ports - I could I have sat there all afternoon!

You're not missing anything... The men who designed these things did though! Sigh!

(P.S. this problem becomes more pronounced when you add a toddler or two to the newborn mix).

Try needing it with a toddler as well in tow!

The shopping centre I was in today had a lovely feeding and baby change area with multiple stations and a little play section but no toilets. They did have multiple disabled toilets with baby change so ended up with us all in there.

In another one they had to take out the toilet in a similar area because people kept flushing wipes down the toilets!

Tebay services have a couple of family rooms with two toilets, one toddler sized and a baby change. Makes life easier as you can all go in together.

Yep. It’s annoying. I’ve peed with DS on my lap. Was at the supermarket and couldn’t take the trolley to the loo. The baby change facility was a separate room but unlike the disabled has no loo in it. My biggest peeve was that recently the only baby change was in the ladies (despite an amply sized disabled loo), and I was DH and both our children who are still both in nappies. I had to change one, pack up the nappy bag, return him to DH and then do the other.

I often had DD in a carrier so would just wee with her strapped to me.

When she moved to a buggy she was a bit older so I'd feel fine about leaving her just outside the cubicle door and lock it. I sing to her to let her know I'm still there and she's been fine with that.

But tbh most changing facilities I've used are a disabled toilet with a changing table. I don't feel bad about using it as poo explosions are rare, and I have a disability (although not one that means I can only use a disabled loo, but I have a Radar key).

I have become accustomed to just peeing with the pushchair in the cubicle.

YES! This annoys me so much. We do London to York and vice versa a lot to see family. Kings Cross Station has a separate changing room to the disabled loo, which is obviously great as it doesnt mean utilising the facilities for someone who may need them, but there is no loo in there! Such a waste! Especially with buggy and suitcase / big backpack etc.

I go for the park the buggy infront of the door approach. I thought it would get easier now that DD is a toddler, but it isn't really, because if she isn't the buggy, i can guarantee whilst im peeing, she will be trying to touch the floor or the toilet bowl 🤮

@LittleBearPad I’m too scared to leave her outside the cubicle in case someone somehow silently runs off with her!

Glad it’s not just me! I was tempted to wee in a sink in a designated baby changing room the other day as there wasn’t a toilet anywhere (I didn’t though 😂)

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who found this really infuriating!

I used to hold DD upright to my chest with my left hand and use the right to unbutton jeans, wipe etc. Was ok when she was tiny, and then when she was bigger and too heavy and wriggly, I left her in the pram in the open door and pee’d quicker than the speed of sound. It’s shit.

With my eldest I think I just figured out the places that were ok quite quickly, in my area that was M&S, John Lewis, Mothercare, supermarkets, the shopping centre. But several of those have actually closed down now so maybe this is a problem for a lot of people with more and more chain high street shops closing. With my second and subsequent children I used a sling instead of a pram so I don't remember this being a problem, would this work for you? Even if you wanted a pram for most of the day, you could get an easy on sling just for going into a cubicle.

Loads of public toilets have one extra large stall that will fit a pram. Surprised you haven’t seen these. My local (fairly shabby) shopping centre has one which also has a changing table in it.

I once was in an airport abroad (forget where) and they had an adult toilet with a little chair on the wall to strap your baby into while you used the loo!

If you have any near you, John Lewis always had fantastic facilities for this situation, same for M&S

I used to use the disabled toilet. It’s usually where the baby change is.

I really hate baby change tables by the sinks. Unhygienic and such a lack of privacy and dignity for a baby or toddler to be changed in a public space. There should not be an assumption that it is ok because they are too young to be aware or that all women are ‘safe’ and couldn’t possibly have disturbing thoughts about a semi naked child.

I’ve taken to complaining at every facility that has a “parent and child room” complete with a nursing chair and changing station and sink but no toilet.

Chairs for feeding baby are great but we also need a toilet we can use without tryin to balance a baby of having to lay baby on the floor. I can sit in the cafe and feed my baby, or even on the floor beside the wall, I don’t need a chair by the changing table for anything other than setting my nappy bag on.

The disabled toilet was broken and thus closed in Tesco’s one day and I had to leave my baby in the cafe with a member of staff as I was desperate and there was no way the pram was fitting even into the main part of the ladies loos. I’d have had to leave the pram outside and carry baby.

its the same in multiple shopping centres, shops etc that have public toilets. You’re not missing a trick at all. It’s frustrating.

And don't get me started on the fact they're usually only in the women's toilets...

I wouldn’t do that either. I’ve just about got to the stage where I will wee in the cubicle next to my four year old but I talk to him the whole time. I wouldn’t do it somewhere completely open and public like a train station etc - I do it somewhere family oriented like Alton towers etc.