Contact centre breaking rules

[gshshs]

My children had to go to a contact centre once every two weeks ordered by the court to see their father who was very abusive, physically and mentally towards me and my son. My daughter was just a baby at the time so doesn’t remember anything but my son remembers everything. The 6 sessions are now over and got a report from the contact centre and there are a few things that I am sure is breaking the rules so some advice would be appreciated if anyone knows about this or has been through something similar

1. So they told me the door always remains closed unless my children say it can be opened as their father is in the next room, and at the last session it states the door was open when the children arrived and the children asked them to close it. surely this is not allowed when they told me it is always closed unless children say it can be opened.

2.My daughter was painting and she asked if she could wash her paint brushes to which they took her to the kitchen to wash them and the kitchen is attached to the room their father is sitting in so she seen him and he seen her and they did not tell my daughter that if she went to the kitchen he would be there and would see. Surely this is also breaking the rules. 3.my daughter was drawing and they asked if their father could borrow some pens to draw her a picture to which she firmly said no and they ignored her and tried to take some pens to him to which point she threw herself to the ground and shouted she doesn’t want him to have any pens and cried her eyes out. I feel like my children have not been listened to and have been treated very unfairly. After that last incident the children begged me not to go to the next session and was very upset.

I don't understand the first two points. The third one, presumably belonged to the contact centre?

I'm not really sure how contact centre work and it sounds as though you've all been through so much already.

What's happening now? Are they still seeing their F or has all contact stopped now?

1. Just sounds like a one off human error 2. She's there to see her father? I don't understand the issue here... can you elaborate? 3. To be honest, that's not a father issue, it's a sharing issue. I wouldn't call it an incident.

Is it supposed to be that he can see them but not the other way around? Can you explain the setup?
Is the contact court ordered?

We are just waiting for another court date so they can decide what happens next. My son point blank refused to see him every time. He want’s absolutely nothing to do with him as he remembers all the abuse and also told the workers at the contact centre that he remembers everything that he done.

It was not human error as it states in the report they left it open deliberately which shouldn’t have happened as they told me at the beginning the door will always remain closed unless the children ask for it to be opened. There is good reason for this as he is an extremely violent person and also a drug user. He has been to prison for his violence and also has a pending court case against him right now regarding sexual harassment against young girls in the woods and also assaults and theft! It also definitely is not a sharing issue as my daughter loves sharing and drawing with people, she does not want to see him! And the contact centre should have told her she would see him as she went into the kitchen as the agreement states the children have to agree to see him before they even set eyes on him!

No he wouldn’t see them and they shouldn’t see him unless the children say they would like to see him. The children are in a play room and he is in the room right next to it so if the door was to open they would all see each other. Due to child abuse charges and drugs and just the violent person he is the contact between him and the children is not meant to happen unless the children say they would like to see him. Yes the contact centre is ordered by a court and it’s completely supervised.

Hi, sorry I can't really offer anymore comments as I just really don't understand the setup. I've never heard of court ordered contact centre where they don't see eachother. It doesn't make sense to me. But if you feel the contact centre did not do what was court ordered then you need to address this at your next court date.

So for 6 contact sessions they’ve gone to a playroom where your ex is next door, and they shouldn’t have seen him at all but a couple of times they’ve seen him for a few seconds? Have I understood correctly?

If I were you I wouldn’t focus too much on whether or not the contact centre ‘broke rules’ but I would be making a big point in court that despite repeated opportunities the children consistently refuse to see him.

Sounds like they were given the opportunity to see him and the choice but they refused so the contact centre tried pushing it

How unkind of them if more is ordered I would ask for a change in venue

I'm going to give you some advice.. and I mean this kindly.

Please stop focusing on this level of detail in the reports as the courts will not care.

They will only care about if contact was successful during those sessions.

I say this as someone whose ex has had only fortnightly supervised contact in a contact centre for the past 4 years.

But it's no surprise the children say no to seeing him..To your 3 year old he's a stranger and to your 6 year old remembers the abuse. The contact centre is there to enable contact and the only way that possibly could happen is if they catch sight of the person who they've been asked do they want to see? Seems a very odd set up.