3 year old and 7 week old - how to manage?

[Glassofsquashoverthere]

Just that really. I feel a bit pathetic even saying that out loud, but what the hell are you supposed to do? I've got a big, boisterous, energetic 3 year old, and a 7 week old that doesn't really do daytime sleep in chunks, just a few short naps on the boob after a feed. Baby will very occasionally sleep in the sling, absolutely zero chance in the pram (although he's a great sleeper at night).

Just finding it so hard to get out as baby wants frequent feeding, and toddler wants long and exhausting days outside. When we have been out it's been no fun for anyone as the baby just screams and cries, and toddler gets frustrated that I'm distracted.

I should add that baby is well and healthy, gaining weight etc. 3 year old is high needs, assessed for ASD and ADHD on advice of his nursery but did not meet the criteria.

Not sure what I'm asking...any tips? When does it get easier? Should I just let the baby cry a d get out anyway?
Currently feeling like the world's most incompetent mother!

25mo and 9wo. Eldest has chosen this week to potty train. Argh! I have to take the baby off my nipple if he’s feeding and the eldest needs me. He cries more than I ever let DS1. 9wo will sleep in the sling if out and about but not at home. And not in pushchair really, wants to be upright and moving. So lots of trips to the park! DS1 has learnt he has to do stuff on his own, so I have things like aquadoodle out, access to crayons, puzzles he can do sat next to me whilst I feed/cuddle the baby. Tv.

My 2YO decided he was ready for potty training when my twins were a month old…. The universe is such an asshole sometimes haha. But the good bit was that I wasn’t really leaving the house then, if it had waited a few months I was more desperate to leave the house so would have hated being stuck at home potty training.

@ReeseWitherfork you're right, I’m thankful that it’s summer, we can be outside, clothes dry quickly, baby isn’t mobile, and I won’t have two in nappies for long. Small mercies. I have twin siblings and my mum said I started potty training when they were about 6wo - it must be a thing!

I'm amazed you managed to get an adhd assessment for a 3 year old. My local gp won't refer until 5!

I think if possible ignore the baby as much as possible. Obviously meet his needs, but focus on the 3 year old. I always found my babies slept better outside anyway. One of the important things you're doing is building their relationship. That'll make for a happier future!

My twins weren't even 3 yet when our baby was born. It was...interesting. And still is one year later! Not going to lie - we don't go out much. It's very, very difficult. But so is staying at home with 2 almost 4 year olds and a 1 year old. I have ADHD myself so I find that I'm very overwhelmed and overstimulated a lot of the time. But also exhausted and all the twins do is squabble and whine all day. I need to get better at taking them out places and making life more exciting for them. To be honest I rely very heavily on screen time for the older 2 and I take any offer of help from grandparents that's offered. Or I just ask. I don't really have any friends in my local area and we don't go to groups. There's also only one soft play unless I want to drive half an hour to get to another one and where we live, we have to drive everywhere even just to the shops or a park. I don't want to pile them all into the car just to go to the park or Asda tbh haha.

Anyway, it's a lot of hard work OP. Don't try to do too much. Not every day has to be filled with fun. Do anything you can which makes your own life easier. And ask other people for help if you have anyone you can ask!

This!!

And get out the house, it does t matter what you look like, just get out the house. You won't be getting anything done at home anyway but at least it won't be getting any worse.

My second lived in the carrier and we went out to do things the toddler would enjoy (park/stay and plays/library etc)
I’d second the recommendation to try a more structured carrier if baby doesn’t get on with a softer sling (we had an ergobaby 360)
I would bf baby in the sling until he was asleep and follow the toddler around commenting on how well she was climbing / running / whatever as he also thought the pram was some sort of torture device. He got a bit better when we could swap to the pushchair seat and he could see more.
It’s really hard though. My mantra was everyone fed, no one dead is a successful day.

You are doing great, if you are all in one piece at the end of a day!

I had a bigger gap I used to pop retro MTV on. Yoga mats out for the eldest to "dance" or do his Power Rangers moves, Baby in bouncer watching "the show" while I tried to stretch out my back so I could walk- dodgy back! Eldest still remembers the shows he put on.

I would recommend for messy play, tarpaulin down that can just be gathered up at end of day.

Hopefully junior gets the memo of the pram so you can walk the legs off your eldest. I found it helpful to get as much fresh air and gentle exercise for my head and patience.

I had that age gap.
soft play was a definite winner
church hall toddler groups
play dates
small playgrounds
cbeebies