The 1-2 kids jump - tips

[Brookee]

Having a bad day. 20mo DS woke up at 4.45 am and only had a short nap. He’s great he’s lively and not really been bothered. Me and DH are wiped.

i am due with DD in January and today has just made me remember the tiredness a bit with newborns and then I’ve spiralled and just keep thinking how will I manage 2? 2 young kids?? What if they both have bad nights will I just pull through the exhaustion? I have today and been fine I’m just scared and emotional but I guess that’s because I’ve been up very early and I’m pregnant

Divide and conquer.
Your DH will take one and you the other?

I found going from 1-2 (3yo and 7mo) much easier than going from 0-1 but it’s different for everyone. It is hard work but you will adjust.

Does DS go to nursery at all? Or do you have reliable family locally?

I have a 3 yo and a 5 week old. Having them both is really tough, but to be fair my 3 yo is pretty demanding and high needs (the 5 week old seems pretty standard newborn so far). I couldn’t cope if DS didn’t go to preschool 3 days per week, but your DS may be a lot more chill and happy to entertain himself than mine. The days DS are in pre school are very straight forward. Newborn second time round is a ton easier.

So a little background sorry!
DH will of course tag team but more when he pops back to work I’m worried about my 2 weekdays alone. Of course I’ll cope but more the worrying about splitting myself

DS does go to nursery and luckily loves it! So 3 week days :)

it’s silly really isn’t it I think as I feel like me and DH have gotten a bit ‘roommaty’ since I fell pregnant (and have felt so I’ll and exhausted we’ve barely done any sort of sexual activity) so that’s been on my mind as with 2 young kids we may just feel like room mates for longer

we have family. However my mum kind of complains a lot how tiring it is and how much she does compared to DH’s mum. This really isn’t helpful to hear so I tend to want to not ask her for help due to the moaning

DH’s mum doesn’t really offer but would say yes if we asked I think I haven’t asked her too much which is bad of me I guess. I also started noticing BIL suddenly has his children stay there at least once a month (and she minds them another weekend day) since we had DS so I feel like I can’t ask as she’s busy with other grandkids and may want alone time for the weekend

(ps my comment wasn’t rude but BIL was against his kids staying out pre DS , then I got pregnant and he kept making ‘jokes’ saying to MIL “don’t forget about my kids now DH name is having a baby” sooo…)

The hardest part will be trying to entertain your Ds. Absolutely increase DS's nursery days to five days a week.

This means your mornings will be freed up to nap when (if) the baby sleeps or just to have some time for yourself.

Buy a double buggy too so you can go for walks.

Get into a routine.
Batch cook with your DH at weekends.

Take one evening off a week to join a class/meet a friend/swim. This will help your cope mentally.

I found (and still find) two children very difficult even though they are now nearer the end of primary school. The above suggestions are things that helped me.