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Parenting

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9 year old regularly struggles to sleep

5 replies

needwine1 · 19/08/2023 07:48

Hi all,

Looking for advice to help my 9 year old daughter settle/sleep well at night as it’s an ongoing drama!

She goes to bed at 8.45 - we’ve kept this regular bedtime, even over the summer. Any earlier, she can’t sleep and later doesn’t work except when we’re away as she has to be up for 7 for school and she’ll be exhausted. She always says she’s tired at lights out, then the next day says she struggled to sleep or fell asleep then woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.

She watches TV until 7-7.15 then it’s shower and over an hour to wind down/read. Room is dark (blinds) and she has a fan. She’s very active during the day and does a lot of sport.

It’s particularly bad if we go away - the first couple of nights always involves her coming down multiple times sobbing that she can’t sleep, often until midnight. Even if she had an early flight/morning, it seems to make no difference. She also struggles at sleepovers and often only has 2-3 hrs sleep and then is horrendous the next day. I don’t think it helps that she’s an over thinker.

As someone who can be a poor sleeper herself, especially at the start of a holiday in a new bed, I’ve got a lot of sympathy: however the well is starting to dry up as it’s been going on all summer holidays and last term and I feel she’s indulging it as well for attention! She has a sister who is two years younger than her and sleeps like the dead - same routine. She can sleep anywhere.

Any tips/suggestions that have worked for you if you’ve got a similar child?! I do feel this is something she needs to crack as she really struggled on her residential last year due to the sleep. TIA.

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 19/08/2023 08:15

My DD is like this, you have my total sympathy.

Some things that have helped are Lush Sleepy Cream, later bedtime and meditation for DC, you can find them on YouTube.

Ultimately though the only thing that worked was Melatonin which was prescribed as she's now on the Pathway for assessment for ASD.

foreverbasil · 19/08/2023 09:06

Is she a worrier? Would she benefit from having a chat or a diary to offload any worrying thoughts before bedtime?

needwine1 · 19/08/2023 11:05

She is and we chat every night before bed - sadly this doesn’t seem to make a difference.

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foreverbasil · 19/08/2023 12:53

I do understand, both my daughters were like this and they needed different solutions. One was allowed to read until she was really sleepy and put her own light out. The other hated reading (still does!). But she formed an attachment to a particular soft toy at around your daughter's age and it really helped to soothe and comfort her. She's a fully functioning adult now but is still anxious and needs the toy to soothe to sleep. Luckily she has an understanding partner 😂

foreverbasil · 19/08/2023 12:55

We also tried worry dolls. Didn't work for us but it might be worth considering

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