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4 year old with a new baby brother - potty regression!

2 replies

Vanders1233 · 18/08/2023 11:23

2 weeks ago we had our second baby boy. My almost 4 year old son is having an existential crisis. He has been potty trained for over a year and never ever has accidents but he is now doing 4 poos + a day in his pants. He usually does one big healthy poo a day in the afternoon, so 4 a day is unusual. He’s also wet the bed a few times.

weve spoken to the health visitor, and read online - advice is to involve him in changes, don’t make a big deal out of it etc etc but it’s been 2 weeks and the clean up every time is wearing me out, with a newborn too.

i wondered if anyone had some advice from past experience! My 4 year old is very strong willed and used to a lot of attention, he is getting more than the baby right now still! But clearly it’s effecting him having a new baby brother.

its 11am here and he’s done 4 already in his pants. Nursery sent him home saying he has a bad tummy - which he doesn’t, they just don’t want to deal with the clean up. (Neither do I at this point!!)

thank you!

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Toddler101 · 18/08/2023 12:33

My 2yo left it 3m before having a toilet regression after baby sibling arrived. It's hard! We seem to be out the other side now though.

Is the attention that the eldest is getting positive? I found showering my eldest with love and loudly telling the baby they'll have to wait, it's eldest time for Mummy cuddle/story/play/help etc helped, and upping my profuse positivity for how wonderful big sibling is for doing xyz... being very specific, helped. That and telling the eldest that "Mummy is going to the toilet now, would you like to come?" so not great from personal bathroom space pov but the 2yo, I think, sees it as 1:1 devoted Mummy time. Dunno.

But sympathise completely. Does your 4yo do it deliberately? Mine seemed to be a mix of deliberate dirty protests and genuine distraction forgetting!

Vanders1233 · 18/08/2023 15:59

thank you for your reply :) how long did it last for you?

we have probably made it worse, by giving it so much attention initially. So we are trying to just quietly change him and not make a big fuss… he’s done 7 poops in his pants today, I’m sure he’s doing it deliberately for attention as he would usually never do so many. But having said that, he doesn’t seem super aware so I think perhaps a mix!

we will try the positive praise! Thank you for the tip. And telling baby brother to wait :)

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