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Do I need to be doing more with my newborn?

13 replies

H13 · 17/08/2023 22:39

I had my daughter two weeks ago today and I just feel like I'm getting it all wrong! We have lots of cuddles and I obviously feed and change her but that's pretty much it. I feel like its been so hectic since having her that I'm forgetting to entertain/stimulate her. My mum bought me all of these black and white sensory cards and I've not even taken them out of the packet yet! I try and talk to her when she's awake and do the whole "narrating" thing but sometimes I forget. Since having her I've become so anxious and keep getting all these awful thoughts stuck in my head like "what if I drop her down the stairs" etc and sometimes I'm so focused on those that I forget to talk to her/entertain her. Before I was putting some clothes away and she was in her cot, I turned round and she was wide awake staring around and I don't know how long she'd been awake for! I just feel like sometimes I'm leaving her to it and she's going to end up not being attached to me. I'm not breastfeeding now due to multiple reasons and I ended up having a section as she was breech, and it all just seems like it's going wrong or I'm doing the wrong thing. She's not a fussy baby and she only really gets upset if we take too long making her bottle but I'm just so worried. I just feel like I'm a shit mum and I don't know what I'm doing, I genuinely thought I'd take to it better than I have. I just feel so low and tearful all the time, but its not that I don't love her or that I'm not enjoying being a mum its just that I feel like I'm not doing a good job 😭

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
boomtickhouse · 17/08/2023 22:42

All she needs is cuddles and your love. Honestly, no black & white cards make any difference whatsoever to a newborn baby. She just needs to hear your heartbeat and for you to learn the rest together, one step at a time. There is no rush.

peonyjam · 17/08/2023 22:43

Congratulations on your baby. I'm just a couple a months ahead of you and it sounds like you're giving her everything she needs. Babies hardly know they're born at 2 weeks so I'd just keep doing what you're doing cuddle, feed, nappy change and repeat. In a few more weeks she will enjoy looking at the black and white cards but for now a cuddle is pretty much all she needs.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 17/08/2023 22:44

She needs cuddles, food and love at this stage. Nothing more. She'll let you know when she's ready for more. You are doing a great job, cuddle her and enjoy those cuddles!

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/08/2023 22:48

The time will come. Those cards will entertain her at some point, you've months and months to start toys and stuff.

She doesn't see you as a separate person to bond with - she sees you as an extension of her. If she is chill and lay in her cot happy, that's great! If she wants and gets cuddles, that's great!

You've a whole childhood to fill with "doing stuff". Take your time settling into it all.

GiddyUpH · 17/08/2023 22:55

If she wasn't happy you'd know about it. It actually sounds like you're doing really well.

msmatcha · 17/08/2023 23:03

Oh my goodness me two weeks! You are both still recovering and just need to be together, not doing anything in particular, just be. This can be with a book, with the tv on, eating cake, chatting to her about anything, just be.

mondaytosunday · 17/08/2023 23:11

I went for a walk every day. Fresh air and exercise were great for me, and the baby enjoyed it too.
But this age is pretty boring, repetitive and can be lonely.
Your baby dyed t need constant entertainment though - just looking around and hearing new noises is fine.

vodkaredbullgirl · 17/08/2023 23:15

All they do is eat, sleep and poop.

WutheredOut · 17/08/2023 23:18

The best thing for your baby when she is two weeks old is you - just being you - probably drinking tea and eating cake if that is what makes you happy

Duttercup · 17/08/2023 23:20

I haven't even read your post and can confidently say, no, you're doing just fine.

CasuirDubh · 17/08/2023 23:21

Don't be so hard on yourself! You're still recovering and you're getting used to one another. In the next few weeks and months you'll find time for other things. She'll be awake more often for a start!

sillyuniforms · 18/08/2023 00:07

vodkaredbullgirl · 17/08/2023 23:15

All they do is eat, sleep and poop.

This!!! Nothing else matters except keeping them alive

sillyuniforms · 18/08/2023 00:19

Op babies watching the world go by is totally normal. Many a baby likes watching TV or the washing machine.
At 2 weeks as long as she's fed & safe you've done your job. Be kind to your self.

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