2 weeks and 6 days I cant handle being a mum help.

[loopielou]

I have gave birth to a beautiful son a couple of weeks ago and I feel like I cant cope anymore. For the past few days all he has done is cry unless I am walking him in his pram or my hubby has him in the car. Midwifes that came out said as long as he is feeding there is nothing to worry about. The health visitor was due out today but never turned up.
im not sure what to do to stop him crying he just wants to be held all the time. any advice!

I know Im not missing Edinburgh too much!!! Weather is better here lol!!!

Thanks for your support x

loopielou, just found this surestart centre near you

are they close to you?

If you can get in contact with them they have lots of groups for mums with little babies

I send you all my best wishes but try not to get too down: it's a massive change for you all and you have all kinds of hormones compounding sleeplessness. I am well beyond your stage (3 DDs aged 8-11) but from what I can remember: don't expect a routine to kick in - your little bundle of anger has had a perfectly cossetted world in utero where all needs were met without asking and now out in the big bad world he has to express himself somehow. Let him be close to you: sleep in your bed etc _ ours would fall asleep in my arms and then kick up as soon as put down. Get out for fresh air/ coffee/ trip to the shops. Avoid alcohol: it just compounds tiredness and you will get to have it in abit. The best book I read was the Penelope Leach pne with the wonderful phtos which was based on proper research explaining why babies behave as they do. this phase will pass-you just have to endure a bit! Do check with your doctor though: our youngest DD had kidney reflux which meant she had pain each time shae was fed and so kicked up even more than the others. As I had 3 under3 i thought my milk was poor wnd I was lousy mother so fed her more and then she threw up everywhere. Urinary reflux is more common in boys, especially small ones. Don't feel bad about yourself: he's not a toy you've broken, just a whole new being making sense of the world. Good HV clinic is a good place to go to talk things over and get reassurance that you're doing fine. I hope DH is as nice and supportive as mine was.... unfortunately, we used up our patience on ours when they were infants/ toddlers and are now super-narky so I'm not making out that I'm perfect! PS keeping the house clean doesn't matter and visitors only welcome if they make own cups of tea/ bring dinner with them to help you.

Being dyslexic I wouldn't/couldn't comment on your spelling!!!

sherby dont know why I followed that link I am from Bolton - Peter Kaye country. Just a nosey bugger I think. Lou - smile my love, enjoy your baby and shout up if you need help xxxxx

Have you tried Portsmouth NCT branch?

jojay I fought the urge to follow your link.

Thank you so much for the link. Yes that is close to me so I will call them tomorrow. Thank you so much!! x

Loopielou, some good advice here so far. Just keep baby close to you, he doesn't know he's been born yet. My DS was just the same, he especially loved to shriek from 5-11 every night. I promise you it will get better. Don't worry about forming bad habits either, just do what ypou need to do to get you and baby through the day.

Go for it Shabster, it's really interesting........!!!

The NCT have nothing close by and I would have to travel a fair bit to get to anything. They did have ante natal classes though!!

Thank you all for the links and support x

for local classes try your local authority website - under children. Or visit your local library - they usually have details of mum and toddler groups etc. Or try netmums.com and enter your postcode on the home page. HTH

Go lou - will be in your corner. My DS1 and his lovely partner have their first child (my first grandchild) early June. We know it is a little boy - thank God - I wouldnt know where to start with a little girl!!!! I am so excited but I will be having Lewis full time when his mummy goes back to work. By about November I will be on Mumsnet asking you what I should do. Swings and roundabouts..... Seriously I am 'over the moon' about our next generation - my firstborn baby becoming a daddy - OMG how wonderful.

i lou,congratulations on your new baby. glad to s your getting such great help and support and advice on here, just wanted to say your doing a great job you know, please do not worry about forming any bad habits its a load of rubbish, just do whatever you can to get through, we slept with dd in the our bed quite a few times as sometimes she just wouldnt settle unless snuggled up with mummy and daddy.
keep posting to lt us know how your getting on, and remember youve just gon through a massive thing of giving birth so be kind to yourself housework etc can all wait xxxxxx

Feeling much more confident now thanks to all the help, advice and support here.
Thank you all so much x

I send you all my best wishes but try not to get too down: it's a massive change for you all and you have all kinds of hormones compounding sleeplessness. I am well beyond your stage (3 DDs aged 8-11) but from what I can remember: don't expect a routine to kick in - your little bundle of anger has had a perfectly cossetted world in utero where all needs were met without asking and now out in the big bad world he has to express himself somehow. Let him be close to you: sleep in your bed etc _ ours would fall asleep in my arms and then kick up as soon as put down. Get out for fresh air/ coffee/ trip to the shops. Avoid alcohol: it just compounds tiredness and you will get to have it in abit. The best book I read was the Penelope Leach pne with the wonderful phtos which was based on proper research explaining why babies behave as they do. this phase will pass-you just have to endure a bit! Do check with your doctor though: our youngest DD had kidney reflux which meant she had pain each time shae was fed and so kicked up even more than the others. As I had 3 under3 i thought my milk was poor wnd I was lousy mother so fed her more and then she threw up everywhere. Urinary reflux is more common in boys, especially small ones. Don't feel bad about yourself: he's not a toy you've broken, just a whole new being making sense of the world. Good HV clinic is a good place to go to talk things over and get reassurance that you're doing fine. I hope DH is as nice and supportive as mine was.... unfortunately, we used up our patience on ours when they were infants/ toddlers and are now super-narky so I'm not making out that I'm perfect! PS keeping the house clean doesn't matter and visitors only welcome if they make own cups of tea/ bring dinner with them to help you.

also lou don't listen to doom mongers that say oh you wait till you get to this stage blah blah its just gets harder, that is also rubbish, it gets sooooo much easier

thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

here here lionbeast - go for it lou - keep us informed

Hi Loopie Lou. Got no advice at all, there are loads of lovely Mums on here to help you far more experience than me. Just wanted to say that if you are ever desperate for company or a hand I live very close to you in Petersfield (15 miles)and I am pretty much your age (25). Dont have kids yet (ttc later on in the year) so dont know what help I can be, but if you just want to meet up with someone with crying baby in tow I would be happy to oblige. There's nothing worse than feeling alone and isolated.

loupielou

well if you read all my threads you will see you are not alone

my lo was/is exactly the same

just wish i was back in time to say this to me

hugs and hugs and get a babybjorn

all normal for lo

carry him

i never had the right sling and wish i did

I agree with what's been said, little little ones don't need a routine yet, they just need to be comfortable and held by the people they got to know when inside [ie you and your dh/p]
Your voice and heartbeat and even breathing patterns are all familiar and therefore comforting. Have you tried skin to skin. babytwit [who's now about 6 months old] only seemed to properly settle if I did this and even if it was only once a day in the evenings when the other twits were in bed, it really helped him.

Don't forget that you have both been through a massive change, added to that the seemingly endless days and nights of very little sleep so what you are feeling is completely natural. Have a bath with him [if you can], feed him and fall asleep [some where safe]

Good luck to you both.

Lou, sorry if this has been mentioned on here already but have you tried swaddling your DS?, i did with mine and it worked a treat my DS was just the same wanted to be held ALL the time! i found between a comination of a baby swing, a sling,and swaddling him in his crib i regained a little bit of peace and quiet .
It is such a hard time and its just as difficult for your DS as for you, just imagine your used to being held and cradled and rocked to sleep inside a safe warm place, then all of a sudden your out, legs and arms flailing and nothing 'feels' the same. Good luck and big hugs.

hi lou, hows it going today
xxx

Hi LoupieLou,
I know the NCT meet at Gunwharf quays once a month for a coffee, give them a ring, there will also be a babies group that meets probably once a week that is not an antenatal group (ie the pre-natal training post babies) but is for anyone. I found my weekly metings with my NCT group in Havant very helpful.
Also walks along the seafront will get you some fresh sea air. I found I had to get out of the house everyday with a newborn otherwise I got house crazy.
Unfortunatley I don't live down that way anymore so I can't meet up with you to cuddle your baby whilst you get some rest but I hope someone else can.

i know what its like ive been there my son is a very cuddly baby and loves to be held for the first 6 weeks me and my partner slept in shifts while the other one just held ds as he cried in the end i tried baby massage and a bed time routine also i tried putting him in the place that i wanted him to sleep on a night(his moses basket) every time i had to put him down after about a week he learnt that he had to sleep in his moses basket on a night another thing i foud was if you give your baby his bedtime bottle in the bedroom in the dark with no kind of stimulation at first it breaks your heart to not smile at him or talk to him but it really lets them know the difference between night and day! now my son is 5 months and sleeping through he's still a cuddly baby but i seem to have learnt how to do alot with one hand!
one thing i CAN be certain of is that it DOES get better and in time youll know exactly why your babys crying and what to do for him!