Would you return to work if you had a choice

[Cappuccino17]

I have the option of staying at home. I have 3 kids 2 are at school but my youngest 2 year old will be affected by my choice. We spend a lot of time together . I love his company and he loves mine.
He's starting nursery next year so i applied for jobs in advance as i know how long it can take sometimes. But i got a job a year early . Iv not started yet im still thinking about it. Its part time. But i keep thinking of my son and the wonderful memories we've had and wanted 1 year more as i know itl never come back.
On the other hand the job is very fitting. It fits around my other kids and will be ideal for when my 2 year old starts nursery next year too. The additional income will help next year but not now as such as il b paying fees.
I have the option to stay at home and make 1 last year of memories before he leaves for nursery or will i miss out on an opportunity that may not come again?

Please advice and share experiences.it will really help. Iv cried so much over this.

Do you think you'll be happier if you take the job? What about in 3 weeks? ^ months? 2 year? 5? I'm only asking the question like this as I find it good to be more specific about the question that "Will it make you happy?"

Only you will know

is it full or part time? Sorry if I missed this.

my dream would be to work max 2-3 days max. Then I have some money to spend on Dc, and I’m more present when I’m with her. (I unfortunately expect I’ll need to work 4-5 days eventually). Although I absolutely love being off with Dc I think i need some sort of structure long term. What does your gut say? I was in a tithe r about returning to work 3 v 4 days to start with (while finances allow) but once I’d settled on 3 (and tightening my belt) I felt a huge sense of relief so I think that’s my gut telling me what is best for me. Maybe see if you can work out what gives you that sense of relief when you make a decision?

It is part time.

It will make me happier next year when my little one is a bit older. But right now it doesn't make me happy to be honest! Id be relieved to let go but long term next year for example i know I'd feel awful I might not get an oppurtunity again that is so local to me, fits in with school times etc. So I'm torn. Do any mums regret going to work? I feel i will miss out on my little boy. And that breaks my heart too.

When i say part time i mean i get no days off but the hours are part time. Itl be morning afternoon timing. But in this portion of time me and my little boy spend lots of 1.1 together before the kids return back from school. It's quality time i won't get back !

I'm not sure if this will help as I feel have a different outlook with work and staying at home.

I find being at work very accomplishing, which is a difference sense of achievement to that when I'm spending time with my DD (3). I needed something else for mental stimulation as I really struggled with mat leave. For me, my DD benefitted hugely from having a childminder (small setting, they went ti playgroups, parks, etc) and I got the stimulation from work. I'm not someone who could be a SAHM, but I absolutely love when I take random days off throughout the year to go out and do fun things with my DD.

You sound very different to me in outlook on work, so take it back to practicalities. The main question I would ask myself is what would I regret more in the future, not having the perfect flexible job for the long-term (based on the worst case scenario nothing suitable comes up in the near future when you are looking) or the time and memories spent with your son?

I've opted not to work until youngest DC is in school. I know not everyone enjoys it, but I'm a real toddler class enthusiast and I loved taking my eldest to as many groups and activities we could fit in, and I want to do the same with my youngest too. I don't find the baby/toddler years too hard going and I don't need the finances or the self-validation from having a job, I love the little family bubble we have.

It sounds like you would enjoy spending that extra time with your dc, but you are just anxious that the same opportunity might never come up again? I think these things are far less rare than you think, especially with more flexible/wfh opportunities post covid. I know loads of mums with p/t wfh jobs that fit in well with their families.

I agree with @pinkerdu unless you’re in an obscure career I think the reality of finding a part time / flexi job again in future would actually be quite likely, and more likely than you think. Was it super hard finding this current offer, or did it arrive fairly ok?

Not the answer you want OP, but only you can decide! Personally it'd be a no-brainer for me if it was a job I think I would be suited to and it made sense long term for childcare arrangements. However having a job outside of the house is very important to me. You need to ask yourself why did you apply for these jobs in the first place (it doesn't take a year to get a job). If you truly would prefer to have more time with your toddler, stop applying for jobs until you are ready.

In the area I live in it can be quite hard to find things that are local. I live in a small town. So it is a bit rare! Hence i applied in advance...

Feel like you know what you want to do. Have some time with you and your son if it makes you happy.

Even if I could afford not to work, I still would. I enjoy having something for myself and feel it helps my emotional well-being. I also really enjoy the social side.

I think if it was a job that fitted my requirements in the local area that means no commute etc then I'd take it. If there's a possibility that you can negóciate one day less for now and then go up to every day in a year then I'd try for that option.

Good luck!

Thanks for your opinions everyone

Agree with this!

I had the choice, I chose to work.

I put in blood sweat and tears to earn my qualifications and establish myself in my career! I secured a part time, 2 day a week role. The days aren't consecutive so my little one gets a nursery day, then mummy days, then a nursery day, then family days (loop and repeat). We're all the more refreshed for it, too mentally and emotionally and I get to have adult conversations. For my little one - they have so much to do at nursery they love it. For us, it's the perfect balance.

How many hours will be left at weekends and paid leave to "make memories"
Still plenty opportunities to get pics and memories and long term more ££ for memories as they grow