Hello,
I am very worried and anxious. I have a 2 month old baby who will not be laid down (has a level of colic). Due to this, I often lay her on my chest where she will have her naps (I check on her constantly and never fall asleep myself- I am very conscious of safe sleep).
To entertain myself while she naps, I will watch YouTube until she wakes. There are several times, where I realise that the speaker has been very close to her ears while listening to YouTube at a loud volume. I've quickly turned the phone around, turned down the volume and moved it away from her head. However out of habit this may have happened a few times.
I'm now incredibly worried that I have damaged her hearing. I feel like a failure of a mum and feel I must be the only woman to have done this.
I do struggle with anxiety and fear of my baby being harmed. I lost a baby at 33 weeks last year and so with this baby I want to protect her from everything and feel I have failed already - I do already have a lot of support for this.
I'm very scared to post this on mumsnet as I know that a small number of messages can be harsh. I have no interest in feeling worse than I already do - I know this is a mistake and one I have no intention of repeating. Please be kind and remove judgement - we judge ourselves enough as mums, that we don't need judgement from strangers. Just messaging for advice, words or wisdom ect.