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Original poster

Please tell me about 'night lifting' - do you do it, does it work, does it have drawbacks, how long do you do it for, what happens when you stop?

50 replies

FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:13

Please?

Ds is one week into nappy free night times and it has gone very well EXCEPT the fact he can't get back to sleep at 4 am when he gets up to have a wee. Which is fairly disastrous as we all get woken up etc

last night I accidentally woke him up as I was going to bed, at which point I said he might as well get up and do a wee

he then slept through until 7 am

am tempted to do it again

but have sneaking feeling this is not really going to allow him to get the hang of the whole business, in the long run

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NotQuiteCockney · 28/02/2008 21:17

This is exactly the sort of situation that night lifting is worthwhile for - DS1 used to wake at 6am or 5am or something for a wee.

So I would lift him when I was going to bed, put him on the pot, whisper 'psssssss' in his ear, he'd pee in the pot, and then I'd put him back into bed.

After a while, his bladder got bigger, and we stopped.

Nighttime training isn't about 'learning', imo, it's about just being old enough, and sometimes, it's about having a big enough bladder.

NotQuiteCockney · 28/02/2008 21:17

Oh, and hello, btw. Popped in to ask gross questions about GA ... haven't found any anaesthetists on here yet ...

WigWamBam · 28/02/2008 21:18

I have always been dead against lifting - it doesn't allow them to feel the sensation of needing a wee, it trains them to wee in their sleep not when awake.

But. For dd, when she was nearly there - just one wee a night - it worked. We only had to do it for a week, and then she asked to try without and was dry - and has been for four months since.

Is he nearly there, do you think?

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beansontoast · 28/02/2008 21:18

we lifted ds for weeks and weeks...at 10.30 pm...we carried on for ages because we didnt know what else to do and it became a bit of a habit.

then ..by luck not design...we found ds started taking himself to th eloo at around that time....and slept through untill seven ish.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:19

yes
I am really not sure
doesn't it kind of train them to wait until someone wakes them up? I mean, if I DON'T wake him up, will he wee in the bed?

I haven't done any training, I can't see how I could really
I want him to do it himself
BUT I want to sleep
I wonder if he would take forever to learn to go back to sleep, or whether another week or two would do it?

plus how do you know when to stop?

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Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:20

sorry cross posts

yes he only does one wee in the night
one night lasted until 6.30 am then got muddled and weed in the bed, otherwise he wakes up fine to get to the loo

I don't know, there is just something about it that makes me uneasy
especially the doing it while they are still asleep thing, I think I would have to wake him up

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Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:21

oh and hello NQC
sorry you are not finding the right person to answer your questions
(I won't look if that's ok as am a bit funny about GA myself)

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NotQuiteCockney · 28/02/2008 21:22

You just wait a few months and stop and see what happens.

It didn't teach DS1 to wee in his sleep. Well, I guess it did, if someone sat him on a pot and went 'pssss' in his ear.

You could leave it a few weeks and see if he learns to go back to sleep - he does need to learn how to do that. How does he normally go to sleep, at regular bedtime? I mean, are you in the room or anything?

NotQuiteCockney · 28/02/2008 21:23

I will give up and ask an ex for help, he's dating a Canadian anaesthetist. Or I'll look online ...

Orinoco · 28/02/2008 21:23

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam · 28/02/2008 21:23

It made me uneasy too. It worked, though, and after the first couple of nights it became clear that it was A Good Thing - she was so proud of herself for being dry (she was six and a half, and desperate to be out of nappies).

The good thing about it was that even though we went and woke her up (too big to pick up and carry whilst asleep!) dd did't fully wake. She stumbled to the loo muttering and whinging, and when she went back to bed she was asleep before the door was closed. Could never remember it in the morning either.

Blondehelen · 28/02/2008 21:24

like someone said before, lifting isn't recommended but like my dd specialist nurse said- if you must for your sanity then when lifting you must make sure the child is awake and make them walk to the toilet to ensure proper emptying and them having the sensation and to vary the times of lifting so the bladder is not trained to empty at 1030pm

elliott · 28/02/2008 21:24

I think it will do no harm to try - you might find you can't actually wake him at that time (I tried it once or twice with ds2 but it was just hopeless...) He's obviously ready in that he wakes reliably when he needs a wee.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:25

No, he normally just lies quietly until he drifts off
there isn't anything different happening in the middle of the night, except he isn't so tired

I guess we will give it another week, but it has been a bit fraught in that it has made us all very tired and that affects the day times a lot obviously
we've had 2 awful nights followed by one good night (caused by exhaustion more than anything!), times 2

another week of it would be wearing
plus we have VERY busy week next week
oh god

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alarkaspree · 28/02/2008 21:29

I did it for the same reason as you - dd was waking up in the early hours and finding it hard to get back to sleep. I think we did it for about 2 months.

We stopped because she stopped doing anything when we put her on the loo - I'm not sure whether she had developed a bigger bladder capacity and wasn't ready to wee yet, or just didn't want to do it any more. But it was painless anyway.

NotQuiteCockney · 28/02/2008 21:29

I'd just give up and lift for a few months, but I hate having bad nights, and will do (nearly) anything to avoid them.

It certainly did not train DS1 to wee in his bed, he was not yet 3 when we started lifting him, and I think we stopped when he was 4 maybe? We probably did it too long, but no harm done. He sometimes gets up in the night to wee now, I think, but he doesn't wake us.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:31

ye-es
thanks all
am still unconvinced one way or the other
dp says it seems like meddling (no comment on anyone else's methods, he isn't reading this, just his thoughts as to the idea) and I know what he means

oh dear I can't have 2 months of shit sleep right now though

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Flo23 · 28/02/2008 21:32

Have been getting DS1 up just before I go to bed and taking him to the bathroom. He wakes up and is very grumpy, wees, goes back to sleep and so far, has been dry for the rest of the night.

Am not thinking of this as a long term plan, only for a week or so then will leave him and see what happens once he is more used to going to bed without a nappy.

Fingers crossed.

Heated · 28/02/2008 21:32

Been wondering this myself.

Ds out of nappies at night and we thought he'd cracked it for about 2 weeks but then followed a week of wet beds/lack of sleep so we started 'night lifting' at about 11pm and never stopped! Ds is now nearing 4 and occasionally has, of his accord, been taking himself to the loo...so maybe just another maturity thing and time for another attempt?

galaxy · 28/02/2008 21:32

Thanks for this thread! dd is 5 and we have been lifting her since she came out of night time napies at 2 1/2. Every night at 10'ish and we always try not to wake her so it's interesting to read that she should be woken and aware of what's happening.

We did try and stop 5 months ago but after 2 weeks of her wetting the bed every morning at 5.am my sanity was disappearing and I gave in.

I guess we'll have to stop soon though!

ChasingSquirrels · 28/02/2008 21:33

I lifted with ds1.
I lifted him when I went to bed - so between 10pm and midnight. He pretty much stayed asleep throughout.
I was 3mo pg when he started, so as I got more pg it got more difficult to physically lift him, so I got him up and took him to the loo - he basically sleepwalked there, sleep wee'd (I said "1 2 3 wee" as I had when potty training him and he would wee) and sleepwalked back to bed, with me guiding him.
I stopped taking lifting about 3/4 months after starting, when I just got so tired I went to bed early and didn't think it was worth it because he has only been in bed for a couple of hours.
Apart from that time of lifting he has never gone for a wee in the night.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:34

I think some of the caveats about night lifting are referring to older children in whom bed wetting has become a more long term problem which needs a long term solution

not so much the 'training' of younger children who are just getting used to coming out of nappies

OP posts:
Flo23 · 28/02/2008 21:37

...Heated and Galaxy will be laughing at my optimism/naiveity now

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2008 21:40

Flo I think it may work well for you
there are quite a few different stories on here, everyone's child is different

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Heated · 28/02/2008 21:43

Or laugh at ourselves for lugging 2 stone of child to the toilet every night for a year, when Flo cracks it in a week?!!

We do wake ds up properly when he goes to the toilet and he talks dream befuddled nonsense to us.