Can you potty train a child who isn’t interested?

[Summermeadowflowers]

DS is 2 years and eight months old. Rewards and coercion have little input on behaviour, and he isn’t showing one bit of interest in potty training.

I think he can hold his wee certainly but if he chooses not to go on the potty I am guessing I am limited in what I can do?

Ds was 4 before he wanted to. He was dry in days. Dd was 2.

I wouldn't try until he shows an interest. No rush!

God no don't bother you will only end up stressed to bits with puddles of wee everywhere. Once it clicks there is absolutely no training to be done

agree with others. Seriously, they pick it up in days when they are ready!

Hmm we did it at a similar age because infant school (abroad) expected it. DS was not interested although not 100% averse either. We did pants only with putting him (and his twin sister) on the potty every hour. He was allowed to watch the iPad while sat on the potty which he loved. Huge celebrations for doing ANYTHING.

We watched him like a hawk in between potty visits, you can start to tell when they need to go. Ran with them to the potty, loads of enthusiasm, more IPad, one M&M for a pee, 3 for a pop etc.

It was not fun but he got there more or less by 2y 9mo. We had frequent accidents for another few months but since turning 3 much better. So it can be done if you are determined/ have a deadline!!

Unfortunately I don’t think that would work here @lifesnotaspectatorsport as he won’t sit on it for any length of time - I mean, I think the most he’s managed is about five seconds!

@Summermeadowflowers well that does make it a challenge!! Cocomelon on the iPad worked for ours. Eldest liked a book.

I guess you could still watch and put him on the potty every hour. And if you see him start to go then put him straight on the potty (have it nearby) to finish in there?

Or just wait I'm not sure we'd have done it so early with him if it hadn't been for him starting infant school. Although it's such a RELIEF when it's done, literally my least favourite job of raising small kids!

We had to ban child’s fav Netflix programme any other times than when he was on the potty. Motivation went up massively.

I'm not sure I agree they have to be "interested". My DD wasn't "interested" in food until I introduced it to her so I took the same view with PT and just said wee and poo goes in the potty now. It took a few weeks but probably not as long as waiting for her to be interested or worse...form an opinion about NOT wanting to go on the potty.

Bribery? Just say to have XX he needs to sit on the potty.

Or you could leave it as PPs say, depends what the motivation is. But I don’t think you always have to wait till children (or
adults) are motivated, life doesn’t always work like that.

Read Oh Crap and do that.

People use "wait til they're ready" as an excuse for not wanting to put effort in. Most kids were trained by 2 in the 80s.

I tried to force it with my eldest, we ended up with weeks of wetting and distress. With my youngest, we waited until he was really interested In it and I can honestly say we didn't have a single accident with him at all, and he was dry in the night about 2 weeks later!

I'm pregnant at the moment and really, I have nonintention to start potty training with this one until she is ready, although I understand girls often are ready before boys, so maybe this one will be before 3 years.

Not wearing nappies is its own reward, I'd try sooner rather than later. My son fought everything at 2 but he potty trained very quickly because he hated having his nappy changed.

A bare bum morning outside or in a room with no carpet will tell you if he has control of weeing. If he goes off to a corner to poo he has bowel control. If he has control he's ready to be potty trained. If he doesn't you can put him back in nappies for a month then see how he does for another morning?

Following this with interest as my mum wants to start potty training when we go to visit them for several months. DD would be 17m when we go.

Why not wait until they are ready ? We just potty trained in a day (a few weeks ago)

Bribery doesn’t work as he doesn’t really understand. If I said sit on the potty and you can have chocolate he’d just hear chocolate and go on about it for the next hour without sitting on the potty!

Going without trousers and nappy just means he wees on the floor and finds it hilarious. So not sure oh crap would work! I guess this is the problem, I worry about judgement like above from Herc and people assuming it is me who doesn’t want to put the effort in, but I can’t really chain him to the potty or force him to sit on it if he won’t.

We did it at 22 months as I was pregnant and didn't want 2 lots of nappies. We live in a hot country though so her going bottomless wasn't an issue and no carpet.

Took 3 days of the oh crap method before it really clicked and 3 weeks without accidents. Nursery need to be on board and anywhere else your son goes regularly (like grandparents).

Honestly I think the wait till they're ready thing is rubbish and I'm so glad we did it when she was malleable enough. Her cousin is 6 months older and honestly the mess and smell makes me so relieved I don't have to deal with a small child's no 2s.

If he's 2 or 3 fair enough but get them potty trained before school. They might be just turning 4 but that's what you aim for. Unless there's an SEN reson which will be supported but if your child starts school in nappies then everyone will judge that as a failure

Honestly, he will learn to get the chocolate by sitting on the potty if you are determined, kind and clear. Use short sentences. Sit at his level. Repeat a lot. Eat the chocolate yourself too.

I’m not sure what I’m missing with going bottomless but it must be something, as DS would be delighted to go without nappy and trousers/shorts. It doesn’t mean he’d use the potty though. I really did try, as I had another baby last month but got nowhere! I don’t want it to become an area of contentiousness or to fuel tantrums with denying chocolate without the required behaviour really.

You're not needing to chain him to a potty! But you watch him like a hawk and when the wee starts or signs of a wee coming, you put him on the potty and heftily reward.

If you have a newborn though, watching like a hawk won't be possible.

Have you read Oh Crap?

I think that most children can potty train between 2 and 2.5 but parents have to be committed and not give up. Nappies and gone and that’s it… it’s so worth it and sticking with it. I think the idea of training in 3 days does work for some kids but for others it takes a bit longer but people give up thinking they aren’t ready but really they just need to keep going!

Up to a point.

I potty trained mine in the days when if they weren't potty trained they couldn't go to pre school.

We bought two potties (I had twins) and put them out in the hallway (laminate flooring). Left them there for a week or so so they got used to them being around.

Then after each meal I said sit on the potty and I'll read you a story. I read a lot of stories.
I also read all the books about potty training to them during this time.

Any time they produced anything in the potty they got a chocolate button.

This got them about 80 per cent potty trained which was good enough for pre-school (9am -12 noon) especially as we did two sits on the potty as part of the morning routine.

This was age 2.5
They weren't 100 per cent potty trained until about a year later but the number of accidents went down each month.

But @Hercisback even if I did that and watched him like a hawk (and he gives no signs, just suddenly pees) then I still need him to sit on the potty which he won’t, so I suppose I am answering my own question here. I think a lot of ‘potty trained’ children in days gone by just wet their pants a lot and were punished for it too but I don’t really want to do that!

But @Hercisback even if I did that and watched him like a hawk (and he gives no signs, just suddenly pees) then I still need him to sit on the potty which he won’t, so I suppose I am answering my own question here. I think a lot of ‘potty trained’ children in days gone by just wet their pants a lot and were punished for it too but I don’t really want to do that!