Custody split following breakup.

[Raisinnola]

Hi all, my ex and I have a young DC who will start school in the next couple of years.

Ex and I both work shifts and the current arrangements we have works okay for us all at the minute as we both work having DC around our shifts.

My concern is that once little one starts school the current arrangement will no longer work.
I will probably be living around 30 mins from ex and DC will be going to school where we live.
Does anyone have any advice on how to work child contact for shift workers when children start school?
Ex can go 4-5 weeks without having a weekend off and works nights too so I just can’t see a way to make “every other weekend” work for us.

Any advice would be very much appreciated as it’s giving me sleepless nights.

Would he be willing to move closer to make the school run more workable? 30 mins is not the end of the world but the DC will get tired and it makes it a long day.

I don’t think he would. To be fair I could move closer to where ex is going to be living but that is where he and all of his family live (they have all behaved awfully towards me some the split) and it is further away from all of my family, friends and support network so I’m very reluctant to do that but if it was the only way to make things work for little one then I would.

This literally depends on both your shifts.
But 30 mins away from school is not seem as far enough to limit mid week overnight contact

You could both make flexible working requests. This might be asking for more ‘fixed’ shifts so you can plan access around work and school.

what current childcare set up do you have? Will you need a new one to factor in school time (which you both pay for)?

I think the issue would be that at the minute ex has many midweek nights where he either finishes or starts work at 7pm so it just wouldn’t work.

Likely you will both need to adjust your work pattern and shifts, realistically it's what most parents have to do separated or not

Surely 1 or both of you needs to change your work rotations?

One option is he finds childcare on his days until he is home from work. It’s up to him to sort his days and up to you to sort yours in terms of wrap around care. However, your child may be exhausted when they first start so it would be a really long day for them. For most kids a structured routine works best especially once they start school.