Is this manageable?

[Winterlove]

Before I start, I want to acknowledge that I’m not the only or first one with this scenario and that lots of people manage in similar circumstances but I want to talk through some of my thoughts and hear how people do it.

I never ever wanted to have children. Last year (early 30s) suddenly I felt the urge and it hasn’t gone away and it’s been around a year now I’ve felt that way. OH happy to have children too. No plans to try for another couple of years at least.

I’m almost qualified as a nurse and OH works a job that is mostly Monday to Friday but sometimes works weekends and evenings. I don’t have any family at all and OH has elderly parents who won’t be fit to help out (late 70s).

How have people in similar situations managed things like summer holidays with school? I can take 2 weeks leave and so can OH but it leaves 2-3 weeks not covered. Are childminders available for people who don’t use them all year round then suddenly need one?

My job won’t allow me leave at Christmas time and OH can only take a few days. I assume childminders take time off too and I can’t assume friends will take my child to allow us to work. We’d take the time off if we could but can’t.

I don’t want to quit my job but would ideally work 2 x 12.5 hour shifts per week so could hopefully ask to work some nights and weekends to cover but it won’t always be possible.

What other options or solutions are there?

Nurseries are usually year round except for a week at Christmas. Some childminders and nurseries will let you have flexible hours around a shift pattern, though not many. You'd be best off seeing if you can negotiate to work the same consistent shifts. More NHS trusts will agree to this now as good nurses are in short supply. Once school age you use before and after school club as needed and in the holidays you use your annual leave to get as far as you can and book holiday clubs for weeks when you have to work. It's all costly but can be done.

Day nursery not a term time only school nursery and then holiday clubs. Childminder also an option but they will take holidays too.

We used a day nursery that was open 50 weeks a year (closed over Xmas). I guess that could be a problem if you can't get leave at that time, I don't know how common it is for nurseries to close over the Christmas period. It was open 8am-6pm, though you could also request 7am start and 7pm finish for extra cost, though I don't think that was widely used. Would your shifts fall into that time frame, including travel time? Wrap around care in schools runs to 6pm at our school, except Fridays when it stops at 5.30pm.