How to shorten nights feeds 90 minutes

[Newmama20232023]

Hi all. My 11-week-old is EBF and night feeds are taking 60-90 minutes. I offer both breasts until they are drained, wind him, rock to sleep etc but everytime I set him down in his crib he wakes up so I need to resettle with boob/cuddling. Any advice on how to shorten these feeds? I keep the room dark, white noise, keep him swaddled. I can’t cosleep sadly as the C curve position makes my hips cramp up and I get no sleep that way. Plus latching side lying is really difficult for me (small boobs).

I would stop rocking him to sleep during the day and lay him down to sleep awake and do "pick up put down" so going to sleep from awake in his cot is his norm. Then you cut out the whole rocking and resettling event.

The actual feeding tends to get much quicker as they get older and feed more efficiently.

At 11 weeks this is still in the realms of normal. Can you keep feeding him until he falls asleep? What are the day time feeds like?

things will settle down as he gets older.

BTW proper "PUPD" does not involve them to cry/scream or be distressed at all.

I used to just lie on my side and feed that way with baby on side. Size through it then pop back (or not) once they fell asleep. Could take as long as they like that way but generally fell asleep pretty quickly that way

My DD was a slow feeder and to be honest I never got the night feeds down much. If it was under an hour I felt like we'd done really well (50 mins was the shortest we got it too and she was well past 6 months by then). It was the main reason we night weaned when she was 13 months old. The long night time wakings were killing me once I was back at work.

I remember a friend at the time telling me her night feeds were 20mins and being quite envious but it was clearly child dependent as feeds were similar lengths in the day.

I'd recommend finding some good entertainment material and making your peace with it.

Did you even read the post?? OP said she can’t feed on her side or co-sleep.

I know your pain OP, but this kind of feeding at this age for a breast fed baby is actually quite normal. Mine used to feed from 10pm-3am with barely any rest periods and it was exhausting. I would put a Box Set on the TV and work my way through the episodes to keep me awake.

I was given three pieces of advice:

1. Put the baby in a sleeping bag overnight so that way when they fall asleep in your arms transferring them back into the cot isn’t such a shock and they are less likely to wake. The theory is that because the baby is still snuggled up in their warm sleeping bag like they were during the feed, they remain in that cosy state when put into the cot, as opposed to going from being nestled and contained in your warm arms to then suddenly being placed on a cool mattress in the big empty space of their cot. This method is supposed to ease the transition from mothers arms to the cot which will reduce the chances of the baby stirring again.

2. Remove all clocks from the bedroom. Apparently seeing the frequent Wake-up times and monitoring the length of feeds can make the stress and tiredness
   worse. Removing all concept of time can make you feel more able to cope with the situation.

3. Express some breast milk onto the baby’s mattress so when he’s back in the cot he can smell your milk and be comforted by it : it’s almost like tricking them into thinking they’re still in your arms and still near your breasts.

Do you have family members who can support you? Once or twice a week my mum would come over and she would have the baby for me for the whole day whilst I caught up on sleep. She would bring the baby to me every time it needed feeding but otherwise the baby stayed with my mum. Just having those chances 1-2 times a week to get some more sleep made the ongoing deprivation a little easier to bear.

Although the suggestions above did work for me, alongside them I did have to just ride it out…

With my son I would say that things eased a little at 6 months when we started weaning but he he didn’t sleep through until he was about 9 months old.

But yes it’s very difficult and very draining.

For me it was the move to the crib that took the long time - feeding was relatively quick. I found that I needed to hold DS2 asleep for at least 15 minutes before attempting a transfer. Whenever I thought "this time he's properly asleep so it will be fine" he inevitably woke and the whole cycle of feeding / resettling would begin again. Do you have a next to me crib or something similar? I also found holding him close and rolling with him into the crib so he was in it while I was still holding him, then detangling myself, helped.

I used a dummy personally, if they stirred when I was putting them back in their bed that would often soothe them off to sleep again without issue. Also I didn't wind them at night if they had fallen asleep after a feed tbh.

Apologies @WantingToEducate I did read the post but got distracted by 2 dc and a dog and missed the very last sentence. I did not tell her to co sleep? I'd probably try to work on that side latch it's so so useful and a life changer. I also have very small boobs so much that feeding on most other positions were hard this one also takes a bit of work but worth it imo

If you do choose to use a dummy OP the advice is not to allow a breast fed baby to sleep with it as it will naturally lengthen out the time period between feeds which can lead to mastitis for you and a possible
negative impact on your milk supply.

It is generally advised to use the dummy to settle the baby off but after 5
minutes or so take the dummy out so it’s not left in it’s mouth whilst the baby sleeps. One of the baby’s first feeding cues is that it will start stirring and sucking on their hands, so if a dummy is in their mouth they will just suck on that instead and not stir for feeds.

This isn’t an implication with all babies, some breastfed babies will still stir 2-3 hourly even with a dummy, it’s just something to bear in mind and have a read around before choosing that step.

I tried it with my baby after having talked it through with my Heath Visitor but the little Sod refused to take it anyway 😂

I know they're generally not really advised for breastfeeding anyway so I'm not arguing with you. But just anecdotally I used dummies to help sleep with both my breastfed babies without any issues with feeding. Never had mastitis or anything like that.

That’s why I said it doesn’t affect all babies / mothers.

Im glad you had no problems with it.

I was simply advising the OP to look into the positives and negatives herself before making any decisions.

Thanks all, the actual feed takes about 20-30 mins - it’s the putting down and subsequent resettling/refeeding to sleep that takes so long. He is swaddled the entire time. I have a next to me so may try to roll him in or just hold him for a while before placing him in.

Oh and he sadly won’t take a dummy- tried lots of different ones.

How about a next to me crib?

thanks, I have a next to me crib but he still wakes up when I set him down- he doesn’t want to be next me, he wants to be held :) he only woke once for a night feed last night and when he was done I held him for 15 mins then lay him down. It worked! Took under an hour for the whole thing thankfully

I would stop burping him at night you might find he doesn’t need it and it may be waking him from his deep sleep. I have honestly the windiest, sickiest baby ever to exist, seriously burps all day and we are just constantly covered in spit up and vomit (EBF) but even he doesn’t need burped overnight, once they’re in a deep sleep just put him down if he has wind and it’s bothering him he will let you know.