Should I move home, closer to family

[Toomanychoices123]

So, since having our 2 children my partner and I have been going backwards and forwards with the idea of moving back to where both of our parents live. We moved away before having children and the girls are now 2.5 and 5. I have made a life for myself where I am and I do miss my family but I am quite independent and like the place we are living now. My partner would move home tomorrow if he could. The girls are settled here. It’s a great place to bring up children, better than where I grew up. I don’t have many fond memories of growing up where I did so I guess that had some baring on my decision. Also, we would have to downsize if we moved to where our parents live. Another factor is that I would like another child and at the moment my partner works away from
home mon-fri and it would be hard with 3, but easier if I lived near family who could help. However, I guess that shouldn’t really be factored in as it might not happen anyway! My head is all over the place and I guess now my 5 year old has started school I feel that’s a tie to where we live now too. Anyone had anything similar to this? Any advice?

Realistically would your family be able/want to help out?

Children are very resilient and if you daughter has only been at the school a year there is plenty of time for her to resettle in a new school. I don't know how I would have managed without the help from my parents however not all grandparents are involved in looking after their grandchild so before I'd think about it I would discuss it with your parents. If they don't want to have a big caring role I wouldn't move as it sounds like you and your partner are happy where you are and tbh after 4 years the level of help you need will reduce significantly but by that time your oldest will definitely have settled in school and moving would have more of an impact

No way! If it’s a better place, your kids are happy and you are independent, I suspect you’d hate moving back somewhere you were miserable (can tell you that but from experience!) also, do you want more extra family involvement?

good point with regards to whether or not I’d get more help, my mum still works lots and my husbands mum is retired but has lots of hobbies etc so I’m not sure how much help I’d actually have. I think it’s more the occasional bit of help we’d like as at the moment we are very much doing everything alone. Then again, we have been for the last 5 years so as you say @Edellondon the involvement would be a lot less now anyway, I feel we’ve done the hardest part. I guess I just always feel torn because my family are there and we are here. We also have siblings and I have a nephew who id like to see more but again, my sister works full time so in reality, we probably wouldn’t see that much of her. I just feel like this will never be put to bed. Each time I visit I come home wishing I lived near to them but I wish they would move here (that’s obviously not an option) but I really don’t like the place they all live and I think that’s the biggest thing, the location