Gina Ford... Does anyone use her routines / sleep approach anymore?

[SpringTime2023]

Interested to get people's views as I know from colleagues (+10 years older) that they LOVED it.

Just interested to see if any further research has come out as to whether it's damaging (the controlled crying aspect?) and if there are more modern approaches out there now.

The only GF fans I knew who found it helpful all "used it loosely" Which isn't GF-you're supposed to stick to it to the minutes.

I just used it as a guide as I would with any parenting book. Took things I liked from it such as 7-7, lunch time nap, black out blinds etc but not feeding every 4 hours because 3 hours worked better and did pick up/put down from the baby whisperer instead of controlled crying.

I wouldn't follow any parenting book exactly which is just common sense I think because babies are different.

I read the first chapter. Skimmed the rest. Threw it in the bin and carried on enjoying my baby in a calm and relaxed manner.

Parents do though. And they use the techniques from the books that work for them.

They haven’t read Sarah Ockwell Smith either though.

I used GF for my eldest as I didn't have a clue what I was doing. He's now my well slept, eternally chilled out teen and we get on well.
Wish I'd used it for my youngest too. Silly me thought I knew better.

I guess with everything you can take as much or as little as you want and do what works for them and their baby. Some people will follow it to the letter, others will follow loosely and others will feel its not a good fit.
I do think that with a lot of baby stuff (sleeping, weaning, potty trying, being dry at night) there is an element of luck and/or is dependent on baby's temperament that can't always be trained or "parented" out.
My DD was insanely fussy from the moment I tried to stop bf - she was my pfb and I literally followed recipe /weaning books to the letter, did all the purees, tried so many things, got her involved in cooking when she was a toddler etc etc. She is now 17 and still amazingly fussy

@SouthLondonMum22 "I wouldn't follow any parenting book exactly which is just common sense I think because babies are different."

Couldn't agree more. But GF was marketed as "do EXACTLY this and you will have a contented little baby." I'm sure there was good stuff in it- but it was intended as a strict script. I'm glad that some people were confident enough to pick and choose.

I'd say that most parenting books are marketed that way to a certain extent but insert what they are marketing as their unique selling point that will absolutely work for your baby, of course.

Ultimately, these people want to make money from parents and that is largely what it's about.

I did baby whisperer, or at least a version of it. When I was pregnant there was a satellite tv channel based on home and family, lots of supernanny type programmes. Tracey Hogg had a baby whisperer show, Justine and Carrie had one too. I learned how to breast feed from watcging the BW show.
I did AESY instead of the EASY routine, it worked for both of mine. The 3hrly schedule worked well and they slept through from about 10 weeks.

I did Gina Ford fairly strictly with my first and a bit less so with my second and they both thrived - ate well, slept well, cried little because as I see it, their needs were being anticipated not just met. It suited me really well and whatever downsides there were in terms of being a bit more tied to doing certain things at certain times, were more than compensated for in the calm of our house and how contented they were ( the great majority of the time). I was very much doing it alone, living away from family and friends with a not brilliant husband and she was like a firm but gentle steer that suited my sensibilities and kept me going. And there was plenty of time for love and cuddles and to do things.

@theleafandnotthetree

ate well, slept well, cried little because as I see it, their needs were being anticipated not just met

Yes to this. There seems to be a misunderstanding that GF method is cruel & you leave a small baby to cry. Because of the routine you know whether they are hungry or tired & can respond to that.

Exactly - the whole point about GF is that they’ll never be crying in hunger because you’ve anticipated their need for food before they’ve got that point and you’ll never need to do sleep training which usually involves upset no matter what method because they’ve got into good sleep habits from the very beginning. Routine based parenting isn’t for everyone and that’s fine but there are so many misconceptions about it it’s ridiculous.

I get that routine-based parenting isn't for everyone. And not everyone's work/life lends itself to routine. But having emerged out of the other side from baby/toddler/preschooler/infant I have so many friends who chose not to do routine-based and who really seem to be struggling now.

I'm sympathetic, buy them coffee and listen to their woes and I've got enough sense not to point out they could have done things differently so I just listen, but crikey it makes me so glad we did parent the way we did from early on.

We chose not to do routine based parenting, we have a 3.5 yo and a 13mo and are doing fine. It isn't always down to the parenting choices, but the child/ren themselves. We ended up not doing routines because our eldest was fairly routine averse but our second probably would have done fine in a routine, but then he was easier anyway.

It's easy to criticise other parents and say if they did it x way then they wouldn't be struggling now, but that's not necessarily the case. and even if it were, which couldn't be proven, they obviously did the best they could at the time.

My kids are grown up now, Gina Ford book saved my sanity too! First child had such terrible colic and as soon as followed her advice it disappeared! I was feeding him too much in a short space of time when in fact he was tired and just needed to sleep. I was young and didn't have a clue.

The internet was so basic back then, nhs advice was a bit barmy too and has changed quite a lot since mine where babies .

Now we have all sorts of great advice and forums at our finger tips, I've also noticed a huge rise in sleep consultants on social media.

No, we just took each day as it came. We did alright. They’re 15 and 13 now.

But this assumes your child will comply with the "good sleep habits".
DD wouldn't settle on her own no matter how many times we tried. DS was much easier to settle, it does really depend on the child.

I completely agree it isn’t for everyone and that it won’t necessarily work for ever baby (although it worked for both of mine). That wasn’t the point I was making at all. Rather that there are so many misconceptions like it involves leaving them to cry, or not feeding a hungry baby when nothing could be further from the truth.

@lochmaree

It's easy to criticise other parents and say if they did it x way then they wouldn't be struggling now, but that's not necessarily the case. and even if it were, which couldn't be proven, they obviously did the best they could at the time.

I would never criticise another way of parenting. However I do find it frustrating when baby led way is promoted as the only way & you only have to see how many new Mums struggle with no sleep which then leads to PND to realise that getting enough sleep is vital (for everyone in the house).

I think Mumsnet normalises sitting around all day breast feeding & doing no housework & getting up several times a night. It doesn't have to be like that. There is more judgment from those who criticise routine based parenting.

Exactly, so much pressure to do everything baby-led, lots of reassurance about how sleep is developmental and waking several times a night is entirely normal for even pre-schoolers whilst totally ignoring the mum with severe PND who has been told multiple times they'll definitely sleep when they're teenagers! She needs the sleep NOW now in more than ten years time.

Whilst reassurance that having a routine is fine, as is letting your partner sleep next to the baby so you get a break, a bit of grizzling whilst you go to the loo/have a shower/get some food is fine would be invaluable.

I winged it, still am! Although they're 18 & 17 so I must've done something right.