Gina Ford... Does anyone use her routines / sleep approach anymore?

[SpringTime2023]

Interested to get people's views as I know from colleagues (+10 years older) that they LOVED it.

Just interested to see if any further research has come out as to whether it's damaging (the controlled crying aspect?) and if there are more modern approaches out there now.

This reminds me of calling my mum and asking her advice on sleep and feeding, she said she couldn’t remember what she did when db and I were little but we both seemed to eat well and sleep in our own beds now.

I know quite a few parents who were destroyed by the book. It was too prescriptive and those who struggled felt like they failed completely because it didn’t work for them.
I think the ‘toolkit’ approach is more used nowadays - finding different things that fit your family rather than just one approach.

I will confess that I joined MN precisely because people were speaking out against her methods which I found refreshing

The biggest problem with both Gina Ford and Tracy Hogg (baby whisperer) is that they tell you when the baby should be asleep, but not how you get them to sleep in the first place, and if you do, how to get them to sleep in a cot. A lot just won’t.

Loved Gina Ford's book and it honestly held my hand with my first child and stopped me driving into a tree. I thought I knew what to do with a newborn baby but quickly realised I didn't have a clue! It gave me the help, structure and confidence I didn't have and although I didn't follow her routine to the letter, I did take on board that my babies needed routine and rest. It definitely worked for me and my babies and I am grateful to have had it by my side.

I used the pick up/put down method which is in the baby whisperer book to encourage him to self settle to sleep in his cot.

I remember having a look through her book in Waterstones when now 18 year old DS was a baby. I couldn't work out how her "feed every 4 hours" worked when antenatal classes/MW/HV all told me to feed on demand. I couldn't care less if I was up, showered and dressed by whatever time she said.
I decided it wouldn't work for me.

*@Globules
*
Mmm, maybe it it was just that Gina was fashionable at that time. I did have a Miriam Stoppard book but I'm sure whatever I had was more about pregnancy / child development and milestones rather than actually what exactly to do with a baby on an hourly basis.

Anyway, there were other books but what I really meant is that you couldn't see it all at your fingertips like you can now. You had to go to the library / bookshop as you say and do your research that way.

It may have been similar to what my brother and now his ex wife were using.

He'd come to visit - alone (!!) For the day with baby. She was the 2nd grandchild - about 8 years younger than my eldest. We were having a lovely walk through the park and all of a sudden he says - "shit, is that the time? I should have got her back for her nap?".

I was "err... She's asleep in the pram"

"Does that count as her nap?"

"In my world it does".

I just whatever whenever with mine. There was routine as in breakfast, lunch, dinner, bath and bed. No specific timings. But both as adult and teen were in bed by 8.30 on a school night with no quibbles. I think we just loved bed as a family 🤣. Not so much me now on my new meds. I'm all over the place!

Yes … DS was fine with the pick up bit but distinctly unimpressed with put down.

In any event, I think routines are helpful for toddlers. Not in an extremely rigid sense but they do need to eat and sleep and to know when they can expect this. It’s awful if we visit PIL as they faff endlessly with lunch - it was nearly 2 when they eventually served something once, and DS then refused to eat.

For babies I find wake windows more helpful in determining naps, but I don’t know many who will go into a cot and nap for a good few months!

Mine was unimpressed with put down at first too but he did get there eventually.

I read Gina Ford and Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer), and then did my own thing with the bits I liked from both. I liked the E.A.S.Y baby whisperer cycle which for me was more in tune with bf that could last for 10 mins or an hour in the very early days and by the time ds was 6-8 weeks old he had more naturally fallen into a GF timed style routine himself.

With any baby books there is no magic manual that you can follow 100%, but they have pockets of ideas to try.

I’m not in any way criticising @SouthLondonMum22 , but I’m just not sure it’s suitable for all babies. I think a lot of them end up overstimulated crying wrecks - they don’t know or understand why they are being constantly picked up then put down again. Most babies will get better at three months (ish) and continue to do so throughout the first year, then they become toddlers and seem comparatively easy as a baby so you have another madness (I’ve finally got 4 week old DD down for the night!)

Personality does come into it too. I think any sort of sense I should be doing this or that gets me flustered , I am much better as a parent and person if I just chill and go with the flow. But I don’t think GF or TH are wrong, just not for everyone.

I didn't do the routines but there was a lot of other really useful information in there about recognising different cries etc.

It worked well for both of mine & found they rarely cried as they never get either hungry or over tired as the routine makes sure that they get the right amount of sleep. So I don't know where the idea comes from that it's all about controlled crying. We never left ours to cry.

I think it's helpful to have a schedule so you can plan your day. It is hard work at first as you sometimes have to wake them up from a nap - but worth it since they sleep well.

I actually think it's damaging to tell all new mothers not to bother as it won't work. Then they have months of no sleep.

The nanny above confirms that the ones who do a routine cry less and are more settled.

She is very much against current nhs feeding advice.

I had my eldest 20 years ago and we definitely did have the Internet! We just didn't have mobile phones and tablets.

As social media was limited and I had no idea how to look after a baby I found it useful. I now have a 21 and 18 year old and both eat and sleep well. I don’t think I damaged them too much.

She saved my life 13 years ago!
My daughter would only sleep for one hour at a time. She was only there months old but I wasn't sleeping at all and she cried all of the time. It severely impacted my mental health.
After GF, she slept and was much happier, as was I.
I didn't need to use it on my youngest as she slept for around 5 hours at a time.

I do have a friend who did it fairly religiously with her first but that was 20 years ago. I'd imagine there's somebody new recommending similar things now?

My mum and MIL were reasonably pro-routine which was an influence on me but as ds had jaundice im not sure how 4 hourly feeding could ever have worked. I can see that being required to wake him up from a nap could have led me to spot something was wrong earlier than I did, in fact.

I followed GF with DD1 and DD2 (13/12) it saved my sanity and I found it really easy to structure my days. If it all went tits up on a day I’d just start again the following day.

GF was all the rage when my kids were small, and frankly it saved my sanity...

She was very unfairly maligned on here (hence the lawsuit from GF!) as people (generally ones not following the advice) took it way too strictly....then raged at people following it like they were child abusers.

But it worked for me with my difficult firstborn....

Best advice; treat nighttime like nighttime, it's easier to get them back to sleep.

The timed feeding, I think if you have a difficult baby who is constantly crying it is hard to know what to do with them and popping them on a feeding regime takes (some of) the stress away. No need to follow it with our second born who was a different child altogether!

I used the timings for Dts from the contented house with twins book, I had no idea what I was doing and I needed them to be in the same schedule for my own sanity.

I ignored most of it though eg mine didn't nap in their cots until they had just turned one so I gave up on that battle way before and they slept in the bassinets of the pram, bouncy chairs or the buggy.

And I didn't need her to to tell me when to eat a slice of toast, I remember that really wound me up for some reason!

Oh yes I remember that book well! I bought it nearly 19 years ago and really enjoyed reading it whilst my son basically slept on me for the first year of his life! 😂

I found there was so much pressure to do everything on demand when DD was born (now 7yo). I had an awful book called "The womanly art of breastfeeding" which made me feel dreadful, it was all about being a martyr mummy and never getting a break from your baby, doing everything constantly on demand. None of this actually helped with breastfeeding, I still had low supply. . I developed severe PND too.

On yet another miserable trip out where I fantasised about going back to work that second, I happened to see a book in a bookshop called "The baby book:how to enjoy year one" and bought it as I was absolutely loathing year one at that point!

It was similar to GF about routines and structure. It made things seem doable. We did the suggested routines and it made such a difference - baby slept through by 8 weeks, I was more rested and happier (this actually increased my milk supply!). Each day had a predictable rhythm to it.

I got a lot of stick at the time from some anti-routine people when I said I'd used it. But I now have a happy confident child who still sleeps and eats well, whereas I know a lot of kids the same age who were on the demand-led approach who eat really badly, still rake in the night, don't go to bed until really late.

TBH I wish I'd used GF from birth or the book I did find. If you're a person who likes structure and routine, the demand-led stuff is way too stressful and uncertain.