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Original poster

Is this normal at nursery?

17 replies

Mugcake · 14/08/2023 20:26

DS has had a few settling in sessions at nursery and his first full day today. We send him with a bottle of water as requested but each time it's come back full.
He has no problem drinking at home and will drink by himself as well as when I offer it. The staff said they offered him water but he didn't want any. He was there for 7hrs today and didn't drink a drop. As soon as I came to get him I offered some and he drank straight away and continued to in the car and at home.
He also hasn't eaten his lunch a couple of times and they haven't given him anything else? They just said if the children don't eat their lunch they'll eat their tea but that's not till 4pm! So he'd have breakfast at 7:30ish then nothing till 4 except maybe a piece of fruit or a breadstick that they offer for a snack at 2pm and no water either!
I don't know if I'm being overly anxious as a FTM and this is totally normal or not. I've raised it with the staff but they keep saying it's normal and it might be because he doesn't trust them enough yet.

OP posts:

WingedHermes · 14/08/2023 20:27

Not sure about water as when I worked in a nursery we have them water or milk at varying intervals throughout the day. Lunch thing is normal however. And personally, I think it's a good thing.

Mollyisacat · 14/08/2023 20:29

My DS went on a hunger strike when he first started nursery, took him about 2 weeks before he starts eating his proper meals in nursery

JenniferBarkley · 14/08/2023 20:33

Our nursery will give them toast if they don't eat a meal if you wish. Not drinking from the bottle isn't a big deal but not drinking anything isn't great. Do they have a plan to fix that?

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JenniferBarkley · 14/08/2023 20:33

But yes, early days can be like this.

Hummusanddipdip · 14/08/2023 20:36

Food thing is normal, some children just aren't hungry, so don't eat. Ds does it occasionally, today he refused breakfast but ate seconds of lunch.

Drink things a bit odd, ds comes home with a full flask most days, but it's a refill and has been refilled several times. The children's bottles are on a trolley in the room they have free access to throughout the day.

I'd say your ds is probably still just getting used to the change, give it a few more sessions and I'm sure he'll be coming home with refills and not what you sent in.

Cindy1802 · 14/08/2023 20:38

My little boy wouldn't eat at nursery to begin with. It took him a while to feel comfortable. Now, 18months on, he eats like a horse and better for them than at home!

Your little one may be doing the same with water, they probably are offering but he's not accepting it.

I believe this is all totally normal behaviour.

Bouncyball23 · 14/08/2023 20:42

In our nursery if child won't eat lunch they get given toast they have their drinking cups in the room to help themselves too and they are refilled at mess times. Most new starters take a week or 2 before they will eat a full meal tho.

TropicalTrama · 14/08/2023 20:53

My experienced is limited as mine went to an American daycare and then a British school nursery but never known there to be alternative food offered although there was a snack. It took DD a while to adjust to the British food but she got there. I hear fellow parents still banging about the water drinking or lack thereof and she’s now in Y2. So it’s very common! Is it an insulated bottle so the water stays fresh and is he ok with drinking from it at home?

mynameiscalypso · 14/08/2023 20:57

My DS has been at nursery three years. He still has days when he doesn't eat anything. The nursery's policy is not to offer an alternative - which I agree with - and I've also told them not to try and cajole him into eating. It doesn't seem to do him any harm, I just cook him a slightly bigger tea on those days. I'm not convinced DS drinks that much water at nursery but will sometimes drink milk or a smoothie when they have one for an afternoon snack.

Hidingawaytoday · 14/08/2023 21:11

My DD has always wolfed down her food at nursery, but they did say that lots of children don't eat much to start with, so I'd say that was normal.

But, she did refuse to drink for the first few times, which was slightly more worrying - it got better after a couple of weeks I think. I'd say make sure he drinks before you drop him off and then again when you pick him up and just see how it goes.

Saschka · 14/08/2023 21:14

They might be drinking from cups instead? DS’s waterbottle was for sipping during activities (so, they would take the waterbottles out into the garden for the afternoon etc). But there was a beaker of water for each child at each meal.

KateyCuckoo · 14/08/2023 21:20

How old is he?

SErunner · 14/08/2023 21:58

The food thing is normal, they can't realistically pander to every child's whim. Our daughter is still very hit and miss with what she eats at nursery age 2 but her weight is fine and they tell us if she hasn't had much so we offer a bigger supper when she gets home. I'm perfectly happy with their approach. The water thing is a bit odd but perhaps he's just not confident with them yet. I'd just speak with them about your concerns, I'm sure it will get better as he settles in.

Original poster

Mugcake · 15/08/2023 08:15

He's 14m so still very little, the food thing doesn't bother me as much as the water although he's not very fussy and quite a big eater at home. So thinking he's going 7/8 hours with hardly anything does worry me a bit. Obviously not expecting them to cater to every child's whims it was just a shock!
He's fine drinking at home, has no problems with his cup will independently get it and drink from it. My worry is I have to actually hand him the cup sometimes when hes playing for him to drink as hes too distracted. If they're just calling him he probably won't come over to them. I've spoken to them about it but they were very non committal and just said it had been offered.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, I'm very anxious about everything regarding DS. Really good to hear that this can be normal and that it should settle down! I'll give it another week or two and see if it gets better 😊

OP posts:

SErunner · 15/08/2023 08:42

It's normal to worry, you're a mum 😊 I'd give it a bit of time and see if it improves. They do do different things at nursery to home and so long as he isn't becoming dehydrated it might not be an issue.

FrizzledFrazzle · 15/08/2023 18:47

My DS had a difficult time settling at nursery and used to refuse to eat any of the nursery food. The leader of the room described it as "It's not his choice to be here, it is his choice whether he eats," which I thought was quite a helpful way to think about it. He was a bit younger than your DS when he started (11 months) so we sent in a lunchbox with foods we knew he liked. It was a bit of a pain, but he ate those for about 6 weeks, plus extra milk in a bottle, and then gradually started eating the nursery food. Still has days where he doesn't eat much now, but generally eats and sleeps well at nursery.

headcheffer · 15/08/2023 19:25

The water thing I would be asking them to encourage him to drink more, offer milk etc. But he does get another opportunity to eat at afternoon snack and then again at tea. I think most kids can wait another 2 hours for their next eating opportunity?

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