No improvement at all, just want to cry - 12 week old

[StarlitSummerNights]

12 week old baby, EBF, still feeding every hour, sometimes more frequently, not napping during the day and sleeping no more than 30 mins at a time when laid down in cot at night. Wasn't it meant to get easier by now? All I do is feed and wind. No playtime, no outings, NO SLEEP. Want to sob. When will things improve?

Should add she has cmpa and allergy to egg which does give her reflux. Managing it through diet. She won't touch the meds. Wanted to give formula to help the feeding situation but she can't have mainstream formula and she's not agreeing with the amino acid formula. So there seems to be no end in sight.

It might feel this way now but I promise it will get better I felt the same way at 12 weeks they are still very young give it a few more weeks hang in there mine is still EBF at 13 months ! His sleep was AWFUL to the point I just gave into co sleeping and even then it was great but now he can have longer periods (still wakes up a few times but feed him back to sleep)

I'm so sorry to hear this. My DD has reflux and CMPA so I have been through some of your challenges albeit I formula fed so don't have the same challenges with hourly feeding and diet.

Did you go straight to amino acid formula or did you try hydrolysed first e.g. Aptamil pepti? Is the issue that she won't take it as if so pepti tastes nicer but if her allergy is severe it won't be enough. It's been OK for my DD and her allergy is ige so worth trying if you haven't already. Or is the issue she won't take a bottle / something else?

With the meds, it may be worth persevering as it can make such a difference, it did with my DD. We had the ok to mix omaprezole with vanilla essence to make the taste slightly more palatable. It was still traumatic getting it down her but it was worth it for the difference it made.

I know it's very typical of MN to suggest cosleeping but is that an option? That saves me with the hourly waking albeit I still woke up, just got back to sleep quicker.

You are doing an amazing job meeting your baby's needs. It WILL get better. About 14 weeks was a turning point for me but that was when I had finally got her on the right formula and meds. Hang in there xx

This is why I hate how much 3 months/12 weeks is peddled as the promise land where everything suddenly becomes a bed of roses. I had a really difficult newborn phase with DC1. He was incredibly high needs and we went down all the roads you have. It was no different at 12 weeks + 1 day than it had been the 84 days prior to that. If anything, it was actually a bit worse as we had started to see a glimmer of improvement at 10ish weeks then it all went down hill again. I think there genuinely isn’t a ‘turning point’ for a lot of babies, more just eventually the steps forward out pace the steps back. I felt more in control at 6 months, then again at 9 months, then again at 12 months. Sleep (which was truly diabolical at 3 months - I was still holding him all night long) followed the same general upwards trajectory with some massive regressions. There was no dramatic improvement at any stage though I’m sorry to report. High needs/allergy/reflux babies all tend to slowly improve I’m afraid. He was a fabulous toddler and is a sensitive, lovely pre schooler, so there is hope x

Complete sympathy OP, allergy babies are so hard (I have 2). Hang in there, it will suddenly improve. Within a month they'll be taking bigger feeds with longer gaps between them.

i had an 18 month old like that 🥴 finally got her off at 2 years old and she was still waking up every hour in the night, we coslept from around 6 months because she would just feed without waking me.
i gave up with my 3rd at 4 weeks i just could not do it anymore.

That sounds horrific 💐 hang in there!!

Reflux is so difficult to manage & the lack of sleep is exhausting. Please try the meds again, there are various options so go back to the doctors & ask for help (my GP knew very little about it but we were referred to a consultant who was fab). It does get easier