Older kids in baby area- what’s an acceptable way to handle this?

[Jadeywithababy]

I wonder if some more experienced mums can give me some advice here - I took my baby (nearly 10 months old) to soft play today. We’ve been a couple of times before and he loved it but it’s very different now the school holidays have started. We were in the baby area for 36 months and under and he was having a lovely time but more and more boisterous older kids (I’m bad at guessing ages but maybe between 6 and 9) kept coming in and running riot. I kept having to take my baby away from the things he was playing with because it wasn’t safe with the older kids barrelling past him and eventually we just left because he was getting upset to be moved to safety so often. What is the socially acceptable thing to do in this situation? Should I say something to the kids themselves, try to find their parents or say something to the staff? I don’t want to upset anyone or make a scene but equally they’re breaking the rules and my baby missed out because of it. It would be such a shame to not be able to go during the holidays because this is one of the few activities still available (all our groups stop for summer) and the parks we usually go to are similarly chaotic now. What would you advise?

Argh we’ve just come back from soft play and have had the same issue so I feel your pain. Generally I avoid soft play in the school holidays but I also have a 3yo and I simply could have another day stuck at home. If it’s particularly boisterous I would say something to the kids in a friendly way e.g “ooh it’s getting a bit rough in here. I think this is meant to be the baby play area!” Usually I don’t know who the parents are anyway but if they’re listening they might take notice and ask their kids to move on. It is frustrating when parents don’t notice though.

I say it plain and straight. Kids please go to the area fir your age, this is for 3 and under. Say it as if you were a school teacher. Matter of fact. They will leave immediately, problem solved, no fuss.

I always speak nicely to the kids first and if that doesn't work and I can't identify the adults they are with, I speak to the staff. 9/10 the kids take the hint after I speak to them. I am a teacher though so have a very good teacher voice 😂

Say to the children in a firm voice “You can’t play here because you are too big and you could hurt the babies. Go and play somewhere else”.
If they keep coming back you tell staff or their parents (if you can figure out who they are).

I used to avoid soft play in the school holidays when mine were that young for this exact reason. However, I would not hesitate to say something to children and if they did not leave or chose to return, I would be asking staff to enforce it.
I should add most children are not badly behaved, just excited and listen as soon as you ask nicely

I really hate this. Just wait till the summer holidays are over… not much longer.

I don’t think there’s much point in saying anything to the parents as they know where their DC are and are choosing not to supervise properly.

Yep I’d do this. Escalate to the staff if they don’t listen (but they probably will)

I'd tell staff. If staff don't enforce, I wouldn't go again. I'm not policing the behaviour of other people in a paid-for leisure venue.

Kids tend to shit themselves, not literally, when another parent says something to them before it goes to their parents etc so tend to do as told even from a stranger in these circumstances 😅

Thanks everyone, I will practice my teacher voice for next time! I agree, they didn’t seem like nasty kids, just too big for the area.

I’d have said something to the children themselves - along the lines of “sorry guys this area is for under 3 only. Can you please take your game to the bigger kids area”. Then maybe being more firm if it wasn’t listened to. If it was ongoing I’d have also mentioned to the staff if they could manage it.

I do think it is just an inherent part of spending time in enclosed spaces with large amounts of children though. I think learning to manage around people of different ages is useful for children and they do need a bit of guidance if they are being too rough/dangerous etc.

DS is 9 and I can't imagine him in the baby area he gets board in soft play now. I used to just let DS crawl/toddle after the bigger kids at that age yes he got knocked over a few times but it's soft play they bounce. I find most kids are careful around babies

I find this a problem too. Although it doesn't answer your question, I find taking my LOs very early in the day beats most of the older excitable children and is quieter and calmer (this is what I do at weekends, year round).
Also, put something in writing to the centre. The staff know it's happening and are not even attempting to do something about it - it's a clear health and safety issue.

Authoritative and polite voice 'This is an area for babies, are you a baby? You need to go over there now please.'

I have a 1 year old and I'm avoiding soft play now it is the holidays for this exact reason. I'd speak to the staff though, can't be doing with the grief I'd potentially get from another parent if I said anything to their kid. And if they're not stopping their own kids then they obviously don't have a problem with them running riot in the baby area, so no point in speaking with them either.

I’ve personally never been to a soft play where there’s been staff around (except to let you in/ sell drinks). And I’ve never seen staff intervening if a child is misbehaving/ in the wrong area.

Am I in the minority?

"Hey boys, this area is for babies and I think you're a bit too big! Can you go and play in the big kids section?"
99% of the time the kids will zip off asap.

I’m in the “I don’t go to soft play in the holidays” camp. So annoying as like you all groups have stopped and the weather is abysmal. I find the park before about 9am to be bigger child free if the weather is on your side.

Like other posters I tend to be direct and say "this area is for babies, please can you take your game to the older area before someone gets hurt".

Most of the time they move because I think they're surprised that other adults might have boundaries.

There's nothing good comes of trying to find the parents because the parents probably know their children are badly behaved and have brought them to soft play to avoid dealing with them.

I would go and tell the staff; if you can’t see anyone then go to the front or the cafe.
I will also say to children politely please be careful my baby is very little etc; or physically block these children if my baby is on the slide etc.
There’s always a risk of an arsey parent but personally that’s never happened to me as what can they really say.

I don't have the answer but completely sympathise! This is my pet hate.
I got to make a point yesterday while still avoiding confrontation which felt wonderful!
My daughter is 13 months so still uses the baby area in many places but the soft play we frequent has a baby area with a very clear sign up saying non-walkers only.
Yesterday she tried to climb in (along with the 6 or 7 year olds already in there 🙄) and I loudly said "no darling, that's for babies who can't walk yet. We need to go play somewhere else". Cue dirty looks from the parents of the older girls but I don't see why the rules only apply to some people!

I've been known to stand up and ask in a loud voice. ' whose children are these? Could you please keep them out of the babies area' but then I coukd be bolshy in my younger years.

Honestly just politely say to the kids that they shouldnt be in there as it’s under 3s, if you say it with authority they will usually look surprised and leave immediately. I think sometimes they genuinely don’t realise, and sometimes the baby area has something like a ball pit or big building blocks which the other areas don’t have but are still fun for older kids! I wouldn’t be the slightest bit worried about their parents coming over and having to defend myself to the parents, not that this has ever happened to me. If it did I’d say ‘it’s a shame you weren’t close enough to see where they were, hence I had to say something.’

if speaking to the kids doesn’t work I’d definitely speak to the staff. The soft play at peppa pig world had a wonderful lady policing the baby area when I last went, very firmly telling older kids to get out and taking no nonsense! Unfortunately, it’s more commonly nervous looking teenagers so I find it easier to speak to the kids myself.

If you don’t feel comfortable saying something to the kids, I think it’s fine to say something to the staff.

DP hates this. Makes him so angry when we take our 14 month old. And quite rightly. It's so fucking annoying having to keep moving your little one out of the way to keep them safe in the area DESIGNATED to them.

He has said something to the kids (nicely) the parents none of which worked. The parents didn't give a shit and the kids just laughed.

Went straight up to staff instead. They did an announcement and all kids cleared out.

I would go to staff personally if it happend when I was on my own with DS. Avoids any confrontation and more chance of them listening.