Hospital stay - fair?

[mhn1]

My daughter is currently in hospital (I am typing this whilst she naps!). I’ve spent the last 2 nights in here with her and she’s definitely on the mend. We’ve been told she needs to have another night here, however my partner (her dad) says he’s anxious about staying. selfishly, I could really do with a sleep at home and some time away from this room for my own sanity. I feel bad though as it makes him anxious… advice please?!

I feel bad though as it makes him anxious

But it's affecting you as well. It sounds like both of you would be mentally better at home, but you've now done two nights. His turn.

(Unless we are talking about really severe anxiety where he'd be having panic attacks and really struggling. Then I don't think he should, not least because that's not going to be helpful for your DD. In this case, he should be supporting you as much as possible, bringing food and anything you need, making sure everything at home is all sorted)

being anxious when your child is in hospital is pretty normal! He needs to step up and let you get some sleep.

What's he anxious about?

Is it because he is a man? Is the ward full of mums? This was our experience so I used to go home sleep while he stayed during the day.

Thanks all!

I think he just doesn’t like hospitals… we’re in our own side room so luckily not surrounded by other children/parents!

This is just a thought but I have stayed in hospital with my daughter many times and 99% of the time it’s the mum who stays the night. Most nurses are female too so it makes the whole place seem very female orientated. Could this make him feel uncomfortable and therefore anxious?
Maybe you have a day at home while he stays with your daughter but you just return at bedtime.

Yep, he needs to get a grip and stay.

Do not pander to this nonsense.

So what if staying in the hospital would make him 'anxious' ? I feel the same in some situations, but it doesn't give me a 'get out of jail free card' !

You've done the hardest part, which was when your DC was at their worst health-wise, so now it's up to HIM to take a turn at being the 'responsible' parent ffs !

If you want him to be an active and engaged parent, then you need to make sure he steps up whenever required.

He needs to get a grip and man up or if that isn’t something he is able to do due to his mental health then he needs to seek professional support as it’s preventing him from parenting.

It liking hospitals isn't really a good enough reason to not be in one when your child is sick and needs you.

I don't like the dentist but I still go when I need to and make sure my kid goes.

He really does need to step up here.

Clinically anxious to the point of affecting his MH? Fair enough
Feels a bit unsettled and doesnt like it? He needs to step up and be an equal parent so you can get some rest too

What is he anxious about? There's too much selfish "I have anxiety" going on - he needs to step up and share the load.