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Original poster

Birthday return gift - 9 year old

43 replies

mesha123 · 11/08/2023 23:50

Hi,

I am throwing a birthday party for my 9 year old DD.

As a return gift for her friends I am giving Acrylic paint set to all the girls.

I am a little confused as to what should I give to boys. There's couple of boys attending and I thought of giving lego but it's a bit expensive and if I go for the cheaper lego sets they are very basic.

Is Acrylic paint set appropriate for boys as well. Not sure of boys this age are into painting?

Any thoughts?

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Original poster
mesha123 · 12/08/2023 23:13

Batalax · 12/08/2023 17:17

Don’t spend more than a couple of quid on each party bag - unless you move in a much richer friendship group than the rest of us normal types.

No it's definitely not a richer group. Just all normal average working class people.

It's just they are all in year 5 hence thought whether a little party bag which we did in Reception would be sufficient or not.

Also, recently a friend gave us all a badminton set which costed £8 per child which I also thought costed way too much - which made me think what other parents usually do.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 13/08/2023 08:23

It's just they are all in year 5 hence thought whether a little party bag which we did in Reception would be sufficient or not.

It's not obligatory to get them anything at all, seems crazy to be worrying whether a nice gesture would be "sufficient"

painochocolate · 13/08/2023 08:26

Yellowflower82 · 12/08/2023 17:07

We gave everyone a “grow your own grass head kit” At our last DC birthday party instead of party bags, and all boys and girls have loved it. It’s been 6 months and I still get regular updates on how everyone’s grass heads is doing lol.
I agree. Give them all the same :)

Aw that's cute

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painochocolate · 13/08/2023 08:28

mesha123 · 12/08/2023 23:13

No it's definitely not a richer group. Just all normal average working class people.

It's just they are all in year 5 hence thought whether a little party bag which we did in Reception would be sufficient or not.

Also, recently a friend gave us all a badminton set which costed £8 per child which I also thought costed way too much - which made me think what other parents usually do.

Show quote history

Who wants a badminton set and hasn't already got one? Bonkers. Where are most people going to play badminton- do you all have massive gardens/fields?

I expect the parent got given them at work or something

Keep it simple

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 13/08/2023 08:30

Soverymuchfruit · 12/08/2023 10:17

A family friend would (very kindly, in restrospect) always give Christmas presents to myself and my sister, and to my male cousins, while the whole family was gathered together. Different Christmas presents by gender. I'm afraid this always gave me the RAGE. I still very clearly remember my male cousins (two of whom were younger than me) being given something that I very much wanted but was not yet allowed, as I was not yet 10. (A penknife, if you care).

Do not distinguish presents by gender, and especially do not get the boys a more expensive toy.

The presents you have in mind are way too generous for a party bag anyway, no need, but please don't ruin it by doing what you propose.

If you were my daughter you would never be getting a penknife no matter the age.

Florin · 13/08/2023 08:33

My 11 year old boy adores painting and does paint most days and would be upset of a set was given to the girls and not the boys. As others have said it seems a big party bag gift also acrylics tend to be quite permanent and staining so the other parents may not thank you for the gift as they won’t expect it in the party bag and if the kid uses it without supervision it could be a disaster.

Viviennemary · 13/08/2023 08:36

I don't think I would give acrylic paint sets to any of the children. Some children are very messy and acrylic paint can be hard to remove. I would give them all the same though. Party bag with sweets is quite acceptable.

painochocolate · 13/08/2023 08:38

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 13/08/2023 08:30

If you were my daughter you would never be getting a penknife no matter the age.

Show quote history

They are handy should you ever need to get a stone out of a horse's hoof

Cluelessfirstimer · 13/08/2023 08:41

Me and DS attended a 1 year old party recently (yes, they invited everyone at the play group to a party for a 1 year old) it was fucking carnage. Some crawling some walking but most of the babies screamed the whole time. We only went to get out of the house that day as it was raining so it was dry and free.

Anyway we were given a gift bag (wild imo for a 1 year old party but there you go) and the contents were worth more than my gift of a nice rattle. Had some "baby essential oils" a rattle, some books. Made me feel utterly shit. I barely know this lady FYI - we see each other at soft play now and again.

Gift bags are a nice idea but my rule on them when DS gets to party age is they will be cheap and cheerful. Cake, stickers, maybe some sweets

maidmarianne · 13/08/2023 08:41

@DaisyAndDonaldDuck
Why would you not let your daughter have a penknife? Seems a bit strange. We all had ones when we were kids, they're really handy. You can even get ones with nail files on if you think they're somehow not ladylike

inappropriateraspberry · 13/08/2023 08:43

Even at Yr 5, they will be happy with a slice of cake and sweets!
Please be aware that if you start giving bigger gifts, then that may put pressure on other parents to 'match' this when they host a party, which could be expensive for some.
Cake, sweets, maybe some bubbles or similar will be fine!

TVstolemyevenings · 13/08/2023 08:44

This is depressing.

Does the paint set needs to be used with female genitals?

calmcoco · 13/08/2023 08:45

No don't give a different present for girls and boys, makes you look like a sexist parent.

Pick something suitable for both. Either Lego or paint is fine.

Tbh I'd prefer no gift in the party bag, my kids always had loads of stuff!

DanceMumTaxi · 13/08/2023 08:49

I’ve got a year 5 child, party bags are usually cake and sweets. Sweet cones always go down particularly well.

Yellowflower82 · 13/08/2023 09:38

DanceMumTaxi · 13/08/2023 08:49

I’ve got a year 5 child, party bags are usually cake and sweets. Sweet cones always go down particularly well.

Or even just a pez!

Yellowflower82 · 13/08/2023 09:39

Btw I bulk bought the grass heads - they were £2.50 each!

painochocolate · 13/08/2023 09:41

maidmarianne · 13/08/2023 08:41

@DaisyAndDonaldDuck
Why would you not let your daughter have a penknife? Seems a bit strange. We all had ones when we were kids, they're really handy. You can even get ones with nail files on if you think they're somehow not ladylike

I guess in some areas there can be issues with stabbings?

Virginsexonthebeachplease · 13/08/2023 09:44

I also didn't know what you meant by return gift!

I agree with PPs who say give them the same. Paint is just paint - why would you think paints are for girls?

I don't agree with PP who says only spend £1 though. Spend what you like! I spent more than that on my DC party bags and they were really nice! Bear in mind some people will spent about £5-10 on a birthday gift for your DC though.

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