Getting paid help - would you if you could?

[Muminthewest]

My husband and I have some savings from an inheritance, and we’re really struggling in our parenting.

Our mental health is not good (one of us has generalised anxiety disorder, the other a health anxiety disorder). We’re overstretched, sad and just plain desperate at times. We have no grandparents or other family giving us support (I envy families who have grandparents regularly on the school run), so it’s just us. Our oldest child is 8 second child is 5 and we’ve been like this for as long as we can remember. I’m so worried about the impact this situation has on them.

We have some savings and I long to use some of it to help our family right now. But… is that just wrong? Indulgent?

Has anyone been in this situation, been able to afford it, and got help for a while when they needed it? Did it give you what you needed? Would you do it again or was it not worth it?

Would you do it if you could, or would you save your money for the future?

I would do it.
cleaning help maybe. Or a part time nanny.
Alternatively maybe the money could be better spent on good evidence backed therapy by a psychologist or psychiatrist to get both of your mental health in a better place.

It's perfectly OK to spend your savings as you please.

There is help avaliable though, if you ask. Try asking school for a referral to Early Help.

Not in the same situation myself but in my opinion, this is exactly the type of thing I save for - to have the freedom to take some time out when you need it. Having the savings means you have the option so I would do what you need to get your family life back on track! Not indulging at all, it's a necessity in my opinion providing taking some time out wouldn't hinder you getting back into your careers when you fell better. Resilience and mental health is so important and prioritising this also sets a good example for you children.

Sorry that you are going through a hard time.

Not wrong or indulgent at all! You could hire a cleaner, nanny, get hello fresh or cook meals in, pay for private therapy etc - whatever will make your lives easier and more enjoyable.

I can and do.

We have a cleaner 5 hours a week.

We buy cook meals.for fridays and sundays (when i have my second we will get.them full time for for 2 months)

We will get a night nanny for 5.nights out of 7 for the first.2 months after i have my second.

We also do a date night every second thursday. If my mum isnt available.we use our childminder.

All of it makes us much happier and it more manageable. We.feel we have a good balance

Its your money, use it in whatever way benefits you.

We have a nanny for our twins. I only "need" her during term time, but we pay her for 6-10 days a year when I'm not working. It gives me time to get on top of things and have some time with eldest. There are plenty of other teachers I know that keep their kids in nursery during the holidays for similar reasons. If you can afford it and its good for you....

We don't have a cleaner, but if I had the money spare I imagine we would! Lots of people do to free up some time so that they can enjoy their children.

If you're feeling stressed and you have the money to spend and an idea of how to make yourself feel a bit better, go for it!

If you need help and can afford it then of course I would say go for it