Grandparent disengaged

[Fungamonious]

is it normal for one of two grandparents to show little to no interest in engaging with their grandchildren.

One of our parents is great with our children and wants to see them often and talk with them. The other doesn’t barely acknowledge them when they visit or come for a day out, seems put out by them being there and actively avoids being involved / talking and playing with them

We aren’t asking for childcare here, just for them to engage when we bring kids to visit / they visit us (which is rare!)

confused is not the word!

I think this is pretty normal, I've found a lot of grandparents aren't as involved as a generation ago, maybe they worry you'll ask them to babysit 😂

Totally normal.

Grandparents vary from totally over the top and believing it's 'their baby' to couldn't give a toss. And everything in between.

Given this grandparent wasn't especially interested in seeing you often, it's not a surprise they feel the same way about your child.

Normal. Lots of GPs seem to have a preferred age range of DGC so it may improve.

I’ve noticed a few GFs get jealous of the attention given to the new DGC.

Yes. Just like people are all different, parents are all different and grandparents are all different.

Thats fairly normal in itself.

Grandparents are human, they are all different

Very normal I'd say.

Or worse still, when grandparents dote on one grandchild but none of the others.

It’s like my kids are from a strangers house 2000 miles away! We are a 15 minute walk away, yet my mother doesn’t see my kids from one year to the next, doesn’t ask about them when I go and take her shopping or whatever.
She does however, fill her trolley with items, toys, presents for one particular grandchild every single time I take her for her food shop.

Other set of grandparents are just not “people” kind of people so again, zero interest from one year to the next.

🤷‍♀️ my kids don’t miss what they have never had.

Zero grandparent involvement here. Not seen them since Xmas. They send a token bday present, which id happily not have. Very infrequent phone calls, no interest in gc life - when they do phone the call is dominated by their dog and where they've been to walk it.

Two sets of useless gp, for which I apologised to my children who didn’t seem too bothered, visits always fraught, without any engagement at all, a long list of how
they never
children flatly refused visits to MiL as she was so rude to them, never once played with them, no rapport whatsoever, even though they were her only grandchildren.

Our parental expectations risk disappointment.
Children are canny, pick up on disinterest, protecting themselves.

I’m not convinced that lack of interest is normal but it’s not uncommon.