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Feel like a bad parent and like I’m barely functioning

7 replies

PinkyBrain853 · 11/08/2023 10:29

DS is now 7 months old and is progressing amazingly - he is healthy, happy and developing faster than expected BUT he doesn’t sleep well at all. I get 3, sometimes 4, 30-40 minute naps a day and his nighttime sleep is horrific (sometimes up more than once an hour with one maximum stretch of 3 hours). It has always been this way apart from the occasional long nap or 3 nighttime’s when he slept through when he was 2 months old. I’ve tried everything (will not go CIO though) to get him to sleep better. I have just resigned to DH sleeping in other room and DS sleeping in bed with me so I don’t spend the whole night on my feet or bent over into his crib. You can’t extend his naps as once he’s awake he’s awake.

Although he’s really happy, when it’s just he and i in the house he seems so bored. He grumbled and cries and will NOT play independently for longer than a few minutes. He basically needs to be carried around all day. Yet when other people are in the house he can roll about on the floor playing with toys for half an hour, same at baby groups. I feel like I’ve failed him and everyone else’s babies are so much more independent or content on their own. I just want to be able to eat or shower, brush my hair or make the bed. The house has turned into a shithole, I don’t think I’ve ever looked worse, and I just generally feel terrible about myself. DH cooks all the food after work and does the cleaning up, but we have a lot to do around the house so he is doing a lot of that as well as trying to tidy up and work in a very high pressure job 5 days a week, so I don’t feel I can expect more from him. Obviously at weekends he makes sure I get showered and fed etc and get time to get a cup of tea.

I just feel like I’m drowning and like I’m the only one who can’t balance a baby and life. I love him so much and want another baby once he can sleep but I’m terrified I’m just not cut out for motherhood and balancing family life. Has anyone felt the same?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Harpings · 11/08/2023 10:32

It’s really normal for the to nap in short stints at that age. My two both did. I remember with my first thinking I was doing something wrong and other mums I spoke to had their kids having a long afternoon nap. But it’s a developmental thing I think. They started longer naps later around 12-18 months I think.

Harpings · 11/08/2023 10:34

Have you tried a sling? I didn’t use them with my first but wished I had as got in to way of it more with my second. He used to sleep in a sling on my back a lot while around the house etc

PinkyBrain853 · 11/08/2023 10:39

Yeah, we used a sling while he was a baby and a carrier now. But it’s physically so hard carrying round a 12kg baby all day even with how supportive the carrier is 😢 for example right now he is attached to me as I couldn’t 3 minutes to get my hair or teeth brushed x

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casualreader2022 · 11/08/2023 10:39

Sounds like my life to be honest... Apart from mine is older (10 months) and I'm returning to work soon. Unfortunately I have no advice... But least you know you're not on your own.

PinkyBrain853 · 11/08/2023 10:46

I am returning to work the end of September also 😫 not sure if you are feeling the same but I am excited to have some time as a normal adult human but also dreading how on earth I am supposed to function & show up on time

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moonseas · 12/08/2023 01:21

Hi OP. My baby is 15 months now and I think we should all start being honest with new and expectant mums and say the first year is likely to be a shitshow. Not the first 6-8 weeks, not the first 6 months, but very possibly the first entire year!

You’re in the throes of difficult babyhood atm - too old to be a sleepy newborn who chills in your arms but too young to be mobile and independent.

I coslept with my baby between about 4-10 months. It’s what you do to get through the nights (and days!). Sleep is notoriously crap during this period. My baby’s worst sleep was between 6-10 months.

It’s possible your baby is happiest in your arms because he’s not fully mobile (is he crawling yet?). Or it’s possibly some reflux or discomfort that’s soothed by being held by you, his fave person. If you think this could be possible, speak to the HV or GP - and try to reframe it that he just wants to be close to you if he’s feeling poorly or in pain.

Alternatively he could just be ‘high needs’ which I’ve seen other parents talk about. Mine isn’t, but from what I’ve read this hugely eases over time.

For practical advice:

Sleep - how is he fed? Breast or bottle? We had to stop breastfeeding at 10 months due to medical reasons and she wouldn’t take a bottle so she doesn’t drink milk at all now (apart from in her food). Our HV said it was fine to abandon trying to get her drink milk as she ate very well. We also moved her into her own room when this happened - it was a crap 3 nights while she adjusted from cosleeping but within a month, she was sleeping through. She now self settles throughout the night (unless ill) and loves her cot. I would never ever have believed you if you’d said this when she was 7 months so it really can happen for you too!

I imagine your baby is too young and new to food to follow this same approach but if you can hang on a couple more months, you can effectively echo the same approach - it’s worth a shot!

Basic personal care - This is a critical need. You can face almost anything with clean hair and a fresh T-shirt. I put my baby in the cot with books and toys so I can shower, and have done since she outgrew her bouncer and Bumbo chair. If you don’t think he’d accept this, prop your phone on a high surface and stick on Ms Rachel (YouTube) or even better, download BBC iplayer and play Tik Tak, or The Baby Club, or In The Night Garden. It will give you the 15 minutes you need to get showered.

Don’t worry about division of labour - your husband completely understands. It won’t be forever. But it might be nice for you to get to faff around in the kitchen and make lunch or dinner sometimes (for a baby break!) so maybe try to alternate some of those duties.

And you are balancing life with a baby - because life IS the baby 😅 Every week / month, life opens up a tiny bit more until the balance becomes easier and easier. Now my baby is 15 months and I’ve joined a twice-weekly exercise class and do social things in the evenings!!!! I promise it won’t last forever.

Last conclusion of my essay - hopefully you’ve got some mummy friends to vent and rant with but if you haven’t, or if yours are a bit crap and pretend everything’s shiny, keep plugging away at those baby groups and library sessions to find people who are more your tribe. It really helps having people who understand.

Wishing you all the best - please don’t be hard on yourself, and recognise you’re in one of the worst periods of being a parent ever! It gets easier, I promise.

Junebuggirl · 13/08/2023 08:18

You are not a bad parent, unfortunately this is the way it goes sometimes

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