STILL struggling with second baby :(

[SassyPants87]

DS is nearly 10 months old and even though some things have gotten easier in generally finding it so hard and sometimes find myself regretting having a second baby :(, I know it’s such an awful thing to say! He was a wanted baby we had more love to give after our first and imagined a second completing our perfect family.
my first was such a chilled out baby, ate well, slept well, never cried. My second is the complete opposite and I am SO exhausted!!

I did suffer with PND for the first 5 months but I came out of it and even though I’m not in that place anymore I just feel so so defeated. I just find myself asking myself when things will get easier, when it’ll all click into place. Any else experienced the same? I feel like a FTM because he’s so different from my first

Sounds like you've had a really tough start with the PND and the fact that you had an easy first DC1 won't have helped.

Hope you get back to feeling ok soon

I only have one so far (pregnant with second).

But my first was a very difficult baby - a lot of crying, all the time. It got much easier around 14 months… he was just happier. And he got progressively happier and more cuddly and loving. He’s 2 now and is actually nice company!

I used to find it stressful being on my own with him because he was just upset so often, I didn’t enjoy it at all. But it did get much better.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling low. I have a nearly 5 month old, he’s my second, he has a big sister of 4. He’s a happy little character and I adore him but he has CMPA and the evenings are AWFUL, he can scream for hours and is now going through a regression so has gone from sleeping an 8 hour stretch to waking every 90 minutes. I’m breastfeeding so have cut out dairy so am living off just a few foods and feel really depleted and tired. He’s also a big baby and my back is in shreds from pregnancy SPD, carrying him, holding him to feed, pushing the pram, car seat, lowering him into the cot etc.

It’s all just so physical and exhausting my body feels like it’s aged about 10 years in the space of a few months. I just want to sleep and eat chocolate/cake!

Have you bonded with him OP? Only asking as you mention the PND and you seem very down 💐

My husband and I have this conversation regularly! Lighthearted, but still a lot of truth to it.

Our second is a different beast altogether than our first. Our second isn't a good sleeper and it's taking its toll on us. I feel like I bonded with my first easily, but it wasn't as easy with the second- perhaps due to still giving so much time to the first?

The two kids don't sleep at the same time, won't eat the same foods etc etc. I know how you feel about feeling like a FTM again.

But, at 18 months, things got easier. The kids are able to play together and seeing the intense love between them is magical.

So know that what you are feeling is valid. Don't be hard on yourself and remember that it will get easier!

2 is really hard work. After I have birth I thought to myself "what have I done". You forget how dependant they are on you and the elder one can walk and talk and having a baby just feels like you're going backwards.

Is your partner hands on?