Talk to me about routines...

[wanttoplayboardgames]

My little girl is 8 weeks and is now feeding every 4 to 5 hours, this means feeds aren't the exact time everyday.

We're completely led by her in terms of when to feed, nap, play etc.

I've read how people have bedtime (and other) routines at this age, and even younger - and I'm confused!

Do you feed the baby the same time every day even if they're not giving hunger cues?

Do you wake the baby to feed / bath them? Or if their nap is too long?

Fortunately I'm off work so I'm not pushing for a routine but I'd like to work this mystery out!

PS any tips on how to deal with 'a sicky baby' also gratefully received 😁

I don't think mine had routines at that age tbh. I think they started at about 4 months maybe? They sort of slowly found their own routine which I gently encouraged.

3/4 months was when my DC got into a routine and tbh it was made by him.

Ah that makes me feel better, thanks for commenting ☺️

Just out of interest, if you need to go out when baby is sleeping do you wait for them to wake up, or would you just quietly pop them in car seat / pram etc?

Asking as some people seem militant almost with 'don't wake a sleeping baby'!

I started my son on a routine at 6 weeks. Fed him every 2 hours. Set bath/bed time. Breastfed

@wanttoplayboardgames I agree babies tend to just slip into a routine. I try to get DC2 7wo down between 6 and 9 😂. As for going out, with DC1 I used to wait until there was a good window, feed and change before leaving. Now with DC2, unless he’s been asleep hours, I just move him.

I waited until fed and changed and would then go out.

Tbh I'm convinced that babies who were in a routine as newborns are, in fact, robot babies! Mine didn't start to follow a routine until he was 6 mo old.

Don't stress too much about it. You're absolutely right to be led by your baby, and routines at this age really are more for the parents than the child.

My son thrives on a routine. It's good to start one early

Depends on the baby. Some cope with flexibility, some don't. Some will nap in the buggy others won't. Some will change month to month.

Play the baby you're dealt, you'll know best.

On my third baby here and still not cracked this lol. But it does kind of organically happen often starting around 8-16 weeks depending on your baby.

I remember reading somewhere that routine really starts with what time they wake up.

So if it's 7am then plan your feeds, play and naps around that. Do it for a few et voila that's your routine.

At eight weeks DD simply screamed round the clock and DS simply slept round the clock, no routines. DD I never cracked it (cracked up a bit). DS thrives on a routine but really only from six months when he was down to three naps and then I introduced meals, and it all falls into place because you have to schedule your feeds around the naps and meals (so they’re hungry enough to wean onto solids). Even easier now he’s 7.5 months and has dropped third nap. Definitely definitely wake at the same time each day once you’re ready to be quite routine-led, it helps it all click – but at eight weeks I’d enjoy the flexibility and cuddles. Fine to leave the house when they’re sleeping – at that age even if they wake when you transfer them to pram/sling they’re easy to get back to sleep, even terrible DD, because they’re not so distracted by life. From four months I find it gets tricky and they’re like “oh, hello world, I’m going to stay AWAKE”

Yes we had a loose routine. Feed every 3 hours during the day to pack the calories in during the day so they’re not needed at night. And ‘eat, play, sleep’. So feed, then play which at that age is really just a bit of awake time so looking around in the bouncer or kick on the playmat and then it’s down for a nap. The point being to not create a feed to sleep habit which can become problematic later on. Bed was at 10pm and they both slept through to 6/7am so it worked really well. We started the 7pm bedtime at 4 months and then the 10pm feed became a dreamfeed. Also all daytime sleeps were in the pram to distinguish between day/night and also to allow life to carry on around baby!

I love this forum, thank you ladies! It's good to know it's very much each to their own!

I thought I'd missed some parenting memo on these things!

Personally I think we'll stick to being led by her, ie feed when she's hungry rather than due etc, but if we've places to be I'll not be chained to the house ☺️ as for bedtime, who knows 😂

Never wake a sleeping baby (unless health reasons) relax instead

@jannier but what if you need to go in the car / go for a wee etc?!

Depends on the baby. Some cope with flexibility, some don't. Some will nap in the buggy others won't. Some will change month to month.

Play the baby you're dealt, you'll know best.

I agree with this ^^ I don't think parents whose babies fell into a routine when their babies were tiny are better parents. They were just lucky.

DD was breastfed and cluster fed all evening at that age. All thoughts of getting her into a routine went out of the window. We did have a fairly structured daytime routine, but the evenings were endless.

I agree with other posters, your baby will dictate the routine going by feeds etc. I did have a bedtime routine from the start though (bath, bottle and bed worked for us) but we always went by roughly when baby’s feed would be due so was never a specific set time.

No mine didn't have a routine. I found trying to create a routine just made life harder and is unrealistic and unnatural.

@violetsunrise we're doing similar on bath nights, have it about 45 mins before we think she'll want a feed - she enjoys the bath for 10 mins then it's total melt down so need a comfort asap once she's out 😂

Every day is an adventure!

DD never settled into a routine. Ever. She's 11 now and still hates them (PDA).

DS created his own almost from birth. Fed at regular intervals/times regardless of what we were doing, napped at the same times of day, slept at the same times. Weird. He's the only one in the house that does.

Or if it will fuck with night time sleep. Night time sleep is sacred

Yes! I wake DS ruthlessly from naps these days so he’ll sleep at night – OP, after the fourth trimester there does come a point where they have a finite amount of sleep per 24 hours. If you use too much of it on naps – even if the nap is wonderful and you have a cup of tea and a book – they will wake up at night/at 4am ready for the day. “I’ve slept enough! Now, let me poo to my armpits and have a boob party, then whinge for nap by 7am.”

I took DS to Spain at 10 weeks so remember his routine from that time.
1st feed 6am change and little play
8am in to sling to walk the dogs and first nap until around 9 then feed and play on the baby gym while I had breakfast
10:30- into the car maybe very brief nap then sit under a lemon tree third feed (maybe 11:30/12)
Longer sleep around 1pm-3pm
Wake up feed some time without nappy
5pm take dogs out again maybe micro sleep
6pm Home 1 breast, then bath
Massage and 2nd Breast
Asleep by 7pm
Wake at 2am for brief feed

So feeds ;
6am
9am
12pm
3pm
6pm
2am

Naps
8am (45 mins)
10am (20 mins)
1pm (2hrs)
5pm (20 mins)

No absolutely not! I couldn’t disagree with this more.